Whoever does the writing for these posts (Dan Toomey is actually illiterate and Belgian) needs a raise
6 days ago | 1,100
Love the flex of intentionally misspelling so we know it's not AI. Thanks Dan!
5 days ago | 180
The pure disgust on the police officer's face is what gets me the most.
5 days ago | 72
Or is this dapper man coming to steal more? Find out next time!
6 days ago | 272
Coming from a French person: the real crime here is the accent on “Daniel.” Unless he’s secretly a Danièle.
5 days ago (edited) | 39
The garb says gentleman. The appointed role says intellectuall. The stick says master of Eskrima and Hapkido. I have complete confidence the case is as good as closed.
6 days ago | 71
I have many cousins who are not my friends, so I understand.
6 days ago | 170
The way the cop looks at him and clenches his fists - i would ship from enemies to lovers 😂😂
4 days ago | 2
But what about your Spanish cousin... Daniel Tomas with whom you outran bulls in Pamplona -- it was the Spanish revolution after all when bulls traveled fast, but Dans traveled faster? Are you friends with him?
6 days ago (edited) | 51
A+ For creative writing. I'll overlook the typos because "ham hats" was hilarious. Adieu, Toomey. Au Revoir.
6 days ago (edited) | 16
The police guy on the left with the red Kabbalah wrist string doesn’t seem to be buying it. The umbrella might be a giveaway. It isn’t raining.
6 days ago (edited) | 7
Thanks for clearing this up, I was curious about your origins! Journalistic master pieces that you produce, could not have been possible without this. It all makes sense now!
3 days ago | 0
Good Work
Dan here -- I've gotten many DMs about this well-dressed sleuth so I wanna be clear.
Danièl Toumé is my cousin.
Not my friend.
Many years ago Danièl and I ran a boutique investigative department for the well-to-do. We worked above a pastry shop in the 14th Arrondisement in Paris and would perform investigative tasks for patrons who could afford it. Our clients included nobles, businessmen, and well-respected political figured.
It was a part of Toomey-Toumé that I learned many of the skills necessary for any detective worth their salt: how to squint like you're concentrating, say things like "hmmm," and approach any area confidently and ask "what's going on here?"
T-T was very successful. Within a few years we had made millions of dollars in contracts and even more in trenchcoat endorsements. We were the best dressed detectives in Paris, and that's saying something.
But it was at the height of our success that Danièl started to betray me.
As news of our success spread through Paris (this was the 1920s after all - word traveled quick), photographers were quick to show up at the scene to get a snap of the Double Ds whenever we stepped outside. Once my older, and might I say, shorter, cousin began to get a whiff of celebrity, there was no satiating his desire to steal the spotlight.
Day after day, Danièl would step in front of me for a photoshoot any chance he got.
The Partridge of Rue Cler. Chapeaux des Jambons. Le Dame De La Poubelle.
These were all high-profile cases that Danièl would use to stand in front of me and be photographed any chance he got. Dejected, I soon receded to the background in every press opportunity - as you see today.
This particular photo was just the latest example.
When I caught wind of the Louvre jewel heist it seemed like a great opportunity to forgo my usual Wall Street dealings and return to my old stomping grounds. But I should have remembered that once a Danièl, always a Danièl.
So here he is, stealing my shine once again. I believe his trench is Burberry. Well done, Toumé.
Hope this clears things up.
6 days ago | [YT] | 8,003