Several years ago, I was part of a bunco group at our church. It was during a time I had been experiencing pregnancy loss silently. At one gathering, after one of the other women arrived, all of the other women were congratulating her. That was when I learned she was 15 weeks pregnant. Tears started to well up in my eyes. A sweet friend of mine, and the only person in the room who knew I had just had a recent miscarriage, was standing next to me and noticed my change in demeanor. She didn't say anything. She just placed her hand on my back between my hips. I glanced over to her and saw the most loving smile of understanding and compassion I had ever received. That silent gesture did more to comfort me in my grief and pain than anything else.
1 year ago | 19
I think for me, one of the big things was allowing it instead of fighting it. Allowing those big feelings, especially when they would pop up randomly. I remember having a break down in a Walgreens parking lot where I was picking up a photo print for my FIL’s funeral. I let myself sit there and cry as long as I needed to. Then I picked up and continued on until the next moment hit. I’m grateful to have a strong faith foundation to help cope with the times of grief in my life. Recognizing feelings of grief, acknowledging them for what they are, and allowing them space to exist without putting expectations on them. As hard as it is, grief exists because love does. I wouldn’t give up the chance to love, I’m not going to run from the grief
1 year ago | 22
I had a miscarriage last year. The baby's heart stopped beating on ash Wednesday but I didn't find out for another week, which happened to be our 15th wedding anniversary. It was horrible. Because I am a Catholic Christian, we believe that God is everywhere. We also believe that Jesus is present in a real and substantial way in the Eucharist which is a consecrated host (communion wafer) and in each chapel in a Catholic Church there is a tabernacle which holds the consecrated hosts. So if you are praying in the chapel, you are praying in the real presence of Jesus. I believe my baby is in heaven, which is being in the presence of God and Jesus. So because I had a missed miscarriage my baby's body was still with my body, but my baby's soul was and is in heaven. But when I went to pray in the chapel in front of the Eucharist, me, my baby, and Jesus were all together, fully there, body and soul. And it gave me some peace during a time that was not peaceful. I also went to several grief support groups and nights and that helped me talk about what was happening, what had happened, and more importantly it helped my husband understand what I was going through. I've had two miscarriages and I have four living sons. I still cry when I think about my babies I never held in my arms but I am the privileged one who got to hold them briefly this side of life.
1 year ago | 3
Since we’re being real: too much cannabis, focusing on hobbies, food, isolation, letting myself really feel even when it’s ugly.
1 year ago | 24
The healthy things in grief for me mostly consist of acknowledging my feelings, acknowledging that grief does weird things to people sometimes, and talking to loved ones about the experience and about the subject of the grief (reminiscing of good things, mourning the hard parts, just recognizing the existence at all, etc). Doing those things in prayer helps too, in ways I could never have foreseen. In essence, grief is not helped by pretending. Only love will do. Also, I think grief doesn’t really end until the matter is resolved (not really something that happens every time in this life, particularly grief over death), but also, I know that it will be. Having that to hold onto, even (and especially) on days where it seems impossible that anything could be good ever again, makes me feel things that let me understand clichés like “even though it seems like the night will never end, the sun will rise again anyway.”
1 year ago | 4
Animals. My pets are always a source of comfort during difficult times. Cuddling with them, or petting them, or even playing with them.
1 year ago | 12
Being out of doors in God's Creation makes me feel overwhelmed and at peace at the same time. He cares about the smallest details, and I know He cares for me.
1 year ago | 4
Patience. My father and law took his life 4 years ago and my husband was the one who found him and I was around the corner. We still grieve every year and sometimes it still hurts to even talk about him. But sometimes talking about memories is comforting
1 year ago | 2
With me, the most helpful thing was to share the grief. My husband processes grief differently, and his initial reaction is to be strong for me and grieve on his own, but through our miscarriages and loss of other loved ones throughout our marriage, we have found that I feel grief much more heavily if I feel like I'm grieving alone. My husband has learned that I don't need his strength in that moment. I need his vulnerability. I need to see he is hurting, too. It validates my pain and it's so helpful to be able to talk through memories or lost dreams.
1 year ago | 2
I very recently lost my baby to a miscarriage. I’m still figuring everything out and would love to hear everyone’s responses, but I’m currently trying to surround myself with positive and supportive people as well as trying not to suppress any feeling I have. I’m letting myself process all of the feelings (no matter how irrational) and trying to unlearn the shame in emotion and crying
1 year ago | 0
The way I approach grief is, I handle every person I’ve lost differently. I grieved my Aunt and Uncle differently then I did my grandparents or friends. But the one thing I happen to do (after doing it not this way with my Uncle) is I let myself feel what ever emotion I’m feeling at the moment and I walk through it. If I need to cry, I cry. If I need to think and ponder, I do that. I have learned that feeling the emotions is so much better than bottling it up.
1 year ago | 0
Grounding myself if God's word! As I've grown deeper in my walk with Him my response to death has changed a lot. My Christian grandmother passed away earlier this year and I had a short time of grief and tears, but it was for myself. Grief that she will no longer be here in my life, but joy and peace knowing her pain is over and she chose to rest. Take the time for tears, but step into peace like David after his son passed away.
1 year ago | 0
I give myself an appropriate amount of time to wallow and feel completely sorry for myself. I do what I need to do while cutting myself slack where I can, like letting the kids eat leftover pancakes instead of making them a sandwich.
1 year ago | 1
Cry a lot Think of them a ton Try not to ignore what im feeling Try and do something to not drown in my feelings and let it consume me tho
1 year ago | 2
The most heartbreaking loss was in my junior year of high school 4 kids were out partying and they crashed into a pole. 3 died. One was a relatively close friend. It was really weird trying to make sense of it. I grieved for years. I wrote him letters and would leave them on his grave. That's what helped me. It's hard to face mortality at that age. Not some distant old age will get you someday, but it could happen to anyone at anytime.
1 year ago (edited) | 1
I lost 5 siblings in a years time. I started a siblings memorial garden, with a special section for each of them. My sister who I was very close to passed in April and I was given a lilac bush, it bloomed 6 months later and in October. The blooms were white. I pray for healing in your loss.
1 year ago | 3
I was very young when I had my first encounter with death. Grieving for the loss of a loved one is among the hardest things an 8 year old could go through. My coping mechanisms weren’t healthy, I would constantly fight with my mom and there was never a moment where there wasn’t tears on my cheeks. I’m better now and draw what I feel whenever I grieve. ❤️
1 year ago | 3
Denial, shopping, anger, eating till I couldn't feel anything, depression, sleep; on repeat for months maybe even a year or two. "Tools for the Trenches" was a great resource to help me get back to life when I was ready. And my husband and I moving to be closer to family was a help, too. Getting to hug those I didn't really get to for about 15 years, helps tremendously.
1 year ago (edited) | 0
Tincture of time helps gain perspective on loss. You don’t grieve any two people the same and I don’t think you ever stop grieving a person but the grief becomes a part of who you are.
1 year ago | 3
I’ve dealt with grief in good and bad ways. Taken up a hobby, ran a few races, worked on a home improvement project. But in the past I’ve also dealt with it by drinking too much and too often. The bright side is that I don’t drink at all now bc I know it could be an issue for me. Now when grief comes, I pray a lot and make myself do something positive physically that takes some concentration or skill.
1 year ago | 2
Really Very Crunchy
Recording a podcast tonight. Curious how some of you have dealt with grief in the past. Leave a comment below. ❤️
1 year ago | [YT] | 386