Invidious

My friend, you have met a terrible, terrible demise. But, I, uh, y'know, I - I - I don't feel too bad about it. After all, if it weren't for me it would've just been from someone else, y'know? I guess what I'm trying to say is life - life goes on. Well... Well for everyone else life goes on. Not - not for you.. uh.. You're dead. That's neither here nor there.

It reminds me of one summer day in the park. I was having just a delightful picnic with my good friend Orville, and I said to him - I said "Orville, I-I have a story."

And he said to me "What's the significance of the story?" and...

I said to him "O-Orville, not every story has to have significance, y'know? Sometimes, uh, y'know, sometimes a story is just a story. You try to read into every little thing and find meaning in everything anyone says you'll just drive yourself crazy. Had a friend do it once - Wasn't pretty. We talked about it for years. And not only that, but you'll likely end up believing something you shouldn't believe, thinking something you shouldn't think, o-or assuming something you shouldn't assume, y'know?"

Sometimes I said "A story is-is just a story, so just be quiet for one second in life and eat your sandwich, okay?" Of course, it was only then I realized I'd made sandwiches.

Poor Orville was... having such difficulty eating it. Elephants have those clumsy hands, y'know? Actually, I-I suppose that's the problem. They don't have hands at all, do they? The-they're all feet! An-I-I couldn't imagine someone asking me to eat a sandwich with my feet.

Now, if I recall correctly there was a bakery nearby. I said to him, "Orville, let me go get you some rye bread." Now, I-I'm unsure if elephants enjoy rye bread, but I assure you that Orville does.

Now this was on a Tuesday, which was good because rye bread was always fresh on Tuesday. They made sourdough bread on Monday, and threw it out Wednesday... or rather they sold it at a discount for people wanting to feed the ducks, and probably at the end of the day finally they threw it all out - I don't recall.

I do remember a man who would bring his son to the bakery every Wednesday and go feed the ducks. He would buy all of the sourdough bread. Of course, y'know, you're not supposed to feed the ducks sourdough bread at all. It swells up in their stomach and then they all die. At, uh.. at least... at least that's what I've heard. Y'know I-I never saw any ducks die myself, but I did notice a substantial decrease in the duck population over the course of a few years. I just never thought to stop the man and tell him that he was killing the ducks by feeding them sourdough bread! And if you want my opinion on the matter, heh - and I told Orville this as well - "If you wanna feed ducks, or birds, or any kind for that matter, it's best to buy seed."

I mean, when you think about it, breads of any sort don't occur in nature. They don't grow on trees, or spring up from the bushes. I don't think birds know what to do with bread. What was I saying?

Oh-oh, yes yes.

So I bought Orville some rye bread. What a fine day it was.

1 year ago | [YT] | 86

@Blubeans513

Orangutans are great apes native to the rainforests of Indonesia and Malaysia. They are now found only in parts of Borneo and Sumatra, but during the Pleistocene they ranged throughout Southeast Asia and South China. Classified in the genus Pongo, orangutans were originally considered to be one species. From 1996, they were divided into two species: the Bornean orangutan (P. pygmaeus, with three subspecies) and the Sumatran orangutan (P. abelii). A third species, the Tapanuli orangutan (P. tapanuliensis), was identified definitively in 2017. The orangutans are the only surviving species of the subfamily Ponginae, which diverged genetically from the other hominids (gorillas, chimpanzees, and humans) between 19.3 and 15.7 million years ago. The most arboreal of the great apes, orangutans spend most of their time in trees. They have proportionally long arms and short legs, and have reddish-brown hair covering their bodies. Adult males weigh about 75 kg (165 lb), while females reach about 37 kg (82 lb). Dominant adult males develop distinctive cheek pads or flanges and make long calls that attract females and intimidate rivals; younger subordinate males do not and more resemble adult females. Orangutans are the most solitary of the great apes: social bonds occur primarily between mothers and their dependent offspring. Fruit is the most important component of an orangutan's diet; but they will also eat vegetation, bark, honey, insects and bird eggs. They can live over 30 years, both in the wild and in captivity. Orangutans are among the most intelligent primates. They use a variety of sophisticated tools and construct elaborate sleeping nests each night from branches and foliage. The apes' learning abilities have been studied extensively. There may be distinctive cultures within populations. Orangutans have been featured in literature and art since at least the 18th century, particularly in works that comment on human society. Field studies of the apes were pioneered by primatologist Birutė Galdikas and they have been kept in captive facilities around the world since at least the early 19th century. All three orangutan species are considered critically endangered. Human activities have caused severe declines in populations and ranges. Threats to wild orangutan populations include poaching (for bushmeat and retaliation for consuming crops), habitat destruction and deforestation (for palm oil cultivation and logging), and the illegal pet trade. Several conservation and rehabilitation organisations are dedicated to the survival of orangutans in the wild.

1 year ago | 2