Trigger Warning: Miscarriage/D&C . . My husband and I have been trying to have a 3rd baby for over a year now. Last May I miscarried very early, and last week I miscarried again at 9 weeks. I had a D&C procedure on Friday to remove any tissue left in my uterus.
Both times I found out that I was pregnant I was filled with joy and excitement, and when I miscarried I expected to feel sad and depressed, but those feelings never came.
This is a sensitive subject to talk about, not because I’m sad, but because I’m not. There is an expectation of grief when you have a miscarriage. I am supposed to feel sad. I find myself feeling guilty for accepting condolences for my loss. I’m not putting on a brave face or being strong. I’m OK and I feel bad for not feeling worse. It doesn’t seem right to feel fine, when so many people don’t, but it is OK to be OK and it’s definitely OK to NOT be OK. All feelings are valid.
There is no right or wrong way to experience miscarriage. Around 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I think this helped me to process my miscarriages, but I recognise that there’s a myriad of reasons why miscarriage affects others more profoundly (multiple miscarriages, infertility etc.). I just wanted to let you know that however you deal with it is OK and you are not alone. Sending love to everyone one who has gone through it.
Holly Honjo
Trigger Warning: Miscarriage/D&C
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My husband and I have been trying to have a 3rd baby for over a year now. Last May I miscarried very early, and last week I miscarried again at 9 weeks. I had a D&C procedure on Friday to remove any tissue left in my uterus.
Both times I found out that I was pregnant I was filled with joy and excitement, and when I miscarried I expected to feel sad and depressed, but those feelings never came.
This is a sensitive subject to talk about, not because I’m sad, but because I’m not. There is an expectation of grief when you have a miscarriage. I am supposed to feel sad. I find myself feeling guilty for accepting condolences for my loss. I’m not putting on a brave face or being strong. I’m OK and I feel bad for not feeling worse. It doesn’t seem right to feel fine, when so many people don’t, but it is OK to be OK and it’s definitely OK to NOT be OK. All feelings are valid.
There is no right or wrong way to experience miscarriage. Around 10-20% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. I think this helped me to process my miscarriages, but I recognise that there’s a myriad of reasons why miscarriage affects others more profoundly (multiple miscarriages, infertility etc.). I just wanted to let you know that however you deal with it is OK and you are not alone. Sending love to everyone one who has gone through it.
3 years ago | [YT] | 295