The best ones pretend to protect you but slowly are casting you out without you knowing it.
1 week ago | 19
Funny you should bring that up, I always said my parents cast us out and reeled us in at their convenience. Love the water symbolism ❤
1 week ago | 40
I used to disassociate a lot. Now I call out the tactic, and if needed get up and leave.
1 week ago | 2
A great metaphor that's so true. I think some of us sort of become a storm ourselves in the process, like a reflection of where we came from.
1 week ago | 14
As I’m being ripped apart by this storm, I can’t help seeing other people who’s parents actually do keep them safe. And I can’t help wondering why my parents never gave me that. Even seeing them save my brother’s families. While they let me drown or flounder.
1 week ago | 7
Generational (sexual) trauma & denial of blatant evidence & scapegoating of the victim & truth teller with an overdose of passive aggressive narcissism atop the ( malignant) incestuous grooming is a s#%t storm. Thank God I’ve worked in service / therapy/ healing my whole life or I would not still be here.
1 week ago | 9
Yes, and I ran from the storm that they were always creating, but it ended up still catching up to me in illness and I tried so hard to protect my son, but it manifested in him too. I keep trying to create a loving,calm home but the storm still never goes away in my body and mind because it is like rubble no one can love, and is judged. I used to keep a mask and people please, but whenmy husband died and then I had to immediately go back and take care of my stage 4 cancer, abusive mom with everyone completely oblivious to my 6 year old's and my pain, I couldn't cope and haven't really recovered.
1 week ago (edited) | 9
I no longer tell that story I tell the story of how I overcame
1 week ago | 10
My parents switched the roles. They made me the parent to 6 siblings as well as both of them. While they were the child to be free to stay away from home and do whatever things they wanted to. Way messed up.
1 week ago | 3
I share DNA with some people, but that's all we share. They are no family, maybe acquaintances (not all of them, and by their own choice, not mine😔
1 week ago (edited) | 43
My family has always kicked me when I’m down, so yeah, not supportive or trustworthy 😢
1 week ago | 6
☆ My father and brothers attained safety by my position of whipping girl for my mother. As long as she focused the major share of her abuse on me, they could skate by. My eldest brother, 16yrs my senior, unexpectedly dropped by and witnessed her repeatedly beating the back of my head against the cast iron kitchen sink and screaming at me. I was starting to lose consciousness. The most he could come up with was "Gee mom, she's just a kid." Little kids dream of what they want to be in life. My aspiration was to be bigger. And, faster. ☆
1 week ago | 2
Yes, especially with the holidays here. I love it, but I can’t help to think of the family dynamic. My Mom doesn’t talk to her youngest daughter all year round, but only when my sister comes to town and my parents are at my house as well. So it is basically forced contact. My Mom asks me questions about my sister she doesn’t talk to. My Mom stopped talking to me all last year because she chooses to always take her eldest daughter’s side though she should be neutral to all. My parents have so much of their own drama still into their 70’s it is tiring. My Mom acts like last year her ghosting me didn’t happen. She avoids talking about anything. I am 41 and this shit is exhausting!!! 🤯
1 week ago | 16
Yes we each need to be our own lighthouse amid the storm of life instead of relying on somebody else to do it for us.
1 week ago | 9
Mine was the "If it doesn't kill you it will only make you stronger..," kind of family.
1 week ago | 3
Just focus on your own life and realize that is how it should be. Love them from a distance. And realize that is how it's supposed to be. Engage only as far and only in the ways that it feels like a match. One is supposed to grow up and construct a world based on one's own constructs. That's it. Problem solved.
1 week ago (edited) | 2
I am my own anchor ⚓, amidst their storm. I am my own navigator in my own ocean 🌊 called my life. But I am no island, I navigate with those on the same journey to building home within ourselves.
1 week ago | 1
Patrick Teahan
It's important to know what kind of family you have.
Healthy families are focused on care in the present to set children up for success in the future. Keeping children in a safe harbor involves everything from healthy attachment to protection to emotional honesty. We are tethered into healthy caregivers in a good way until we're ready to go out on our own.
A toxic or abusive family isn't focused on the children's success. The focus is often rooted in chaos or drama, where the children are often caught up in the parental storm - on a short chain to "family."
In our adulthood, a healthy family still provides a safe harbor through emotional connection and shared support. When life happens, members still have a safe and sound enough place to go to be vulnerable.
For those in the toxic family, the storm never really ends.
*The alcoholic stepdad has to come to the wedding, or mom won't go, and it's the same old.
*You're required to still be the responsible parent to your parent or sibling, and it doesn't matter if you are struggling in your own life.
*A simple visit returns to the old gross dynamics, and we leave triggered and disconnected, wondering what could have been done.
We have tethered to the family's anchor as their storm drags us around, damaging our worth.
What was that storm for you?
How does it play out, and most importantly - where does it leave you?
1 week ago | [YT] | 1,918