I'm very sorry about what you've been going through. I hope you receive the help and support you deserve. Please take your time and come back when you're truly ready. ♡
9 months ago
| 23
For what it's worth, i wish you all the best. What you've described does sound a lot like OCD (i genuinely thought about the illness as soon as as i saw the image and read the first few sentences), so i'd definitely try to get that checked out. Getting professional help for being stuck with these horrors in your head can significantly reduce the strain that it takes on you, i hope you'll be able to do so. I think it's a really good step to initially isolate yourself from the source of your worries, in order to get help and become more stable before considering return, and i commend you for taking that step. While it may be triggering, i'd like to recommend you the book/movie "Turtles all the Way Down" by John Green, an author who has been struggling with the illness himself and who also recently began a hiatus to focus on his mental health. I cannot predict how it will affect you, but i've heard that it provides a good chunk of wisdom to those struggling with OCD. Until then, stay strong. Hope you get well, and do so at your own pace.
9 months ago
| 22
You have been one of my art/animations inspirations for quite some time, and I’m super sorry that you’ve been dealing with these issues behind the scenes, social media can very much corrupt how we see the world and how we see ourselves, and even how viewers see creators, and the want for like external validation (since posting online I’ve also come across that as well) seeing how well our art does getting rlly happy if it does do well, and feeling upset if it doesn’t, which can heavily impact our mental health and even the people around us, which as you’ve mentioned this has been affecting you for quite some time. I’m happy for you that you decided you need to take a step back and focus more on your personal life and your mental heath to become the best version of yourself, I really admire that!! ;-; as it isn’t easy to step back from something that has been in your life for quite some time! I wish you good luck! ^^ Take care Kat on your personal journey and have fun!!
9 months ago
| 23
i’ve been following you on and off since 2016 (when i was also a teenager) and i’ve silently watched you grow and develop over all these years. i just want to say i’m proud of you man, and i respect your decision to step back from social media. i know how much the internet can be bad for mental health, and i think it’s mature of you to realize you need to get away from it all to stop that cycle of needing validation from strangers i hope whatever you choose to do in your life from now on is fulfilling, and that you’re able to heal. take care man ♥️
9 months ago
| 11
I’ve always loved your art and thought of you as an amazing person I’ve had the pleasure of knowing even for a little bit, I hope you get the relief you’re looking for and I hope when you if/do come back you’ll be the happiest you can be, good luck dude and stay strong
9 months ago
| 11
Everytime I see your art on my feed, my eyes have been blessed!! I have watched you for SOOO long and you've become such an inspiration for me! That being said, forcing yourself to keep pushing out art while you're at a bad mental state, is not worth it. I really hope you have a restful break and that your mental health can improve. I already said this on insta, but please take care of yourself and take as much time as you need!! 💗
9 months ago
| 8
Ne znam otkuda se ovaj post pojavio nakon ne znam koliko godina, ali drago mi je ponovno vidjeti kanal! Sjećam se kada sam pogledao jednu animaciju i ime kanala je zvučalo hrvatsko pa sam provjerio u opisu. Uzmi koliko god vremena trebaš :)
9 months ago
| 5
Going through my subscriptions just to see this. Ironic that I only really knew you from the "I wanna be alive" meme. Hope you're doing great wherever you are. Cause you deserved this break *alot*. I hope you're getting the rest you so desperately deserved.
2 months ago | 3
take as much time as you need, im glad you figured out you needed this in the first place.
9 months ago
| 5
I am just happy you are prioritisng your own mental health. Take care 💚
9 months ago
| 6
Wow. This post has felt like a much needed wakeup call for myself and a lot of the things you describe also apply to me aswell. I'm terrible at making friends and even worse at keeping them around. I made a lot of mistakes in my life and said many things about others I can never take back. I want to move forward in my life towards a path of happiness but I feel like it's too late for that and it's too late to get them back and I only have the memories of them in the back of my mind and losing them the first time... I never completely recovered from that and healed from it. ☹️ I have a lot of traumas and mental health issues that I need to work through and towards to not just get better for the people choosing to remaining around me but also so that I don't end my life prematurely due to my increaseing unhappiness in this game we call life. I want to have them back but don't feel like I earned having them back, but I also feel like they will never forgive me and all I've have to remember them by is those memories fleeting as they may be nowadays. (I don't even dream about them anymore even though I really want to see them and hear their voices one final time for the course and comfort they provided me when I was so close to ending everything. ☹️) I made a lot of mistakes and said a lot of wrong things and hurt so many innocent, beautiful, honestly kind and smart people all because I said the wrong thing and did the wrong thing, I have ADHD and that causes me to act irrationally and not make the best decisions based on emotions that I'm feeling at a given time and I said these things not as an excuse of bad behavior but as a way for them to understand that I would never intentionally or otherwise hurt them because I have been hurt before in my own life and it fucking sucks, that's the truth and I just want them to know that even after all the things I said and did to hurt them that I still love them at the end of the day and they will always be my best friends and I will never forget them and I will always wish deep down no matter what I say that I hope that they end up happy and find success and meaning in their lives, that's all I want now for them all. Yes I miss them, very much in fact, I think about them all the time and how much of a fucking idiot I was at the time, how much I miss Ender because I probably scarred that kid for his dear life with what I said to him in private. I miss hearing their voices and knowing about their lives because I told them all about mine, the good and the bad and the ugly. I never lied to them about anything but I wish that I had and did because maybe if I just lied and waited to tell them later on they wouldn't be as shocked or as scared or as mad and upset with me to this day, but hindsight is 20/20 and I'm not Superman dude, I'm fucking not, I'm a goddamn real human being in real human skin and I can't just leave my story and never return (well I can but...) I can't just hop realities like fucking Max Cauflied can and I can't redo the past. So yes I have hindsight and wouldn't do it all again, instead I would try harder to make them stay. But I do believe in God and I do believe that everything happens for a reason, it has to matter in the end, no matter what though I do believe that I will see them all again and if I never do see them again then I will be unhappy for the rest of my life as punishment. I love them more than I love myself and it shows a lot in how I think and how I behave, I had a plan planned out for getting them to love me again and then that failed hard, I tried again and nothing mattered I always failed, I then got sick of this bullshit and was like, being the villain and making them hate me. I never wanted them to hate me, I just wanted friends, call me a loser for being optimistic when I was depressed that anyone would love me or care for me back, I was called worst things for existing. I promised them that I would repay them for staying my friends and being my friends, I was gonna donate so much of my money to them and then go off into the woods and die somewhere that was supposed to be my legacy as a person but then my fucked up brain said how about no and I lost everything and everyone, so take it from me person reading this comment on someone else's YouTube channel, don't be me and don't be stupid. ☺️🙏✨ - Farewell from Danobe Leswell, October 20, 202
6 months ago | 3
However long you take a break,we will all be waiting for you,this is clearly a tough time for you and we want the best for you,get a break,you deserved it
9 months ago
| 5
Oh my god I hate the fact that I understood the image's reference
9 months ago | 2
think about taking therapy and it might help you for what you are struggling and take a long time off so that you have time for think about yourself
9 months ago
| 4
Katrinci
[Indefinite Hiatus Announcement]
This is going to be quite a personal hiatus announcement, but considering this will be my last post until I come back, I want to open up about the mental health struggles I have been dealing with.
To those of you who have been following me for a long while, you are probably aware that over the years I've played with the idea of taking an extended break from posting online, even trying it a bunch of times, yet never being fully able to commit to it, always crawling back to my comfort zone of posting after only a few weeks.
Since early 2024, I have come to a lot of realizations and harsh truths about myself and how I've been living my life. A needed reality slap, if you will. One of these harsh truths had been realizing that my relationship with social media and posting on the internet hasn't been healthy since all the way back in 2016 when I was only 13, and it has been getting progressively worse with each passing year. I'm a bit embarrassed that I have only now fully internalized and processed an issue that has been plaguing my life 8 years now.
Whenever I post online, I see all of my worst traits reflected back at me.
Using the internet for validation has both made me more insecure and more egotistical. It simultaneously fueled my habit of oversharing and my need to express my every waking thought for the sake of external validation, as well as fueling my paranoia and obsessive tendencies. I can't tell you how often I google my own username to see if people are talking about me, because I am terrified of not knowing everything, not having everything under control. I am so scared of being perceived.
I check replies to my posts and comments on my videos excessively for this same reason. This has also been a huge source of many nightmares and panic attacks over the years.
I'm not one to self-diagnose, but I've been suspecting I have OCD for some time now (or at least experience very similar struggles) & that having a social media presence has amplified my compulsions, which have been getting especially intense & worrisome this year. Of course, this doesn't excuse anything, but identifying & accepting an issue is the first step towards ending it, especially when the issue not negatively affects me, but the people around me, most importantly the people I care about. I've been responsible for many burnt bridges over the years, including friendships. I'm ashamed and angry at myself for how long it took me to truly confront this fact. This can't continue.
On a lesser note, posting on social media has also ruined my relationship with my art, ruined my passion for creating, even ruining my skills and stunting my improvement. My primary motivation to create art should never be the serotonin boost I get when clicking that post button, but it has been that way for so long that posting and drawing have basically become synonymous. It's devastating.
After finally coming to all of these realizations and fully internalizing them, I have decided that it is finally time to take an indefinite hiatus from posting online.
I don't know when I will be back. I just hope that if or when I return, whether it be on this account or somewhere fully fresh, I will be in a better headspace and a better more well-adjusted person.
After I finish my last remaining batch of art commissions, I will only be reachable through email and will not be checking any of my socials.
Thank you to everyone who has supported my creative endeavors over the years. Despite my negative relationship with social media, seeing people be kind and love and enjoy what I create has always meant everything to me. Thank you so much.
*EDIT:* I fixed some typos & added some information I originally missed.
9 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 709