I swear, sometimes I feel like I won't even live to make it to see my favorite YouTubers ik this might sound kid-ish but I really like watching Itsfunneh and her other siblings there all amazing people and when I was younger I would watch them 24/7, when I would go to bed I would but something from them on and I would have so many laughs but honestly guys I don't even think I'll live long enough to get older and see any of them or my favorite YouTubers. Cuz as some of y'all know (this was only kept between me and my friends and stuff but now I think it's a good time to share it) but after my cousin past from "over dosing"(at this point we don't know cuz the investigators can't find anything, even though there a bunch of bruises and cuts on him but even that they just said he over dose) but yeah ever since his death my mental health has been declining and rn I don't feel safe with my self so I'm trying to see if my mom can make me a appointment with my therapist more early and imma tell and ask my therapist if she can send me to the mental health hospital or psych ward cuz I already sh again for the 3 or so time and already people have been telling and demanding me to get help aka go to a mental health hospital and I wanna try but honestly if it doesn't work then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so lost, I don't know who I am anymore. All I know is that I'm this so called "YouTuber who makes people happy with my videos" who has this big to make it big where I can see people I always wanted to meet or make new friends and have people watch my videos and enjoy it, not for the views but for the support and friends I make a long the way. Also for those people who think everythings ok, no nothing is ever ok my old cat that I had for 3 years past away two months ago and my cousin past away 1 month ago and the bullying at my school is getting worse and rn my mom's in debt though trying to make money off doordashing and other apps like doordash which ofc don't pay good enough and I have stuff like ADHD and serve depression and social anxiety and they have all been diagnosed from my doctors and therapist and psychiatrist and of which with having those stuff I need to get stuff for my needs like any type of squeeze ball or plushie to help me while in public and the same thing goes for clothes, I have a sensory issue and have a hard time wearing certain clothes but my mom cant always get me clothes for my needs so I usually stuck with all of my clothes for a whole year until school starts up and my dad takes me shopping with my mom. My parents are not together, they split up sometimes after I was born, I don't know why.my mom never told me why. My room at my mom's isn't good, my bed frame is broken and my light is dead and there's stains everywhere cuz my room used to be my 18 year old brother and which he was a gamer with his friends and he would always spill stuff. But hey it's better then not having a room at all like how it was when I was little and stuff. I got this room when I was like 12 or something but while younger I never had my own room at my mom's so I would have to sleep on the couch or sleep in my mom's bed. Also when I was younger younger like maybe 7 or something like that, my mom married a man and for awhile he was good but then after a bit he started getting verbally abusive and after a bit got psychically abusive. Not to me or my siblings but to my mom though I don't reamber all of it ALOT. I only remember when my mom and him got into a big fight where my mom had to take me and my siblings to a motel and stay there for a night, That's the only main thing I reamber that was bad about him. I only remember good times, I think my mind had gotten to that point were it tries to get rid of those memories and make them forgotten but I don't know. Theres more but that's all more personal and don't feel comfortable sharing but yeah. If I don't post in awhile that means I got send to the mental health hospital or psych ward or something. Btw back to the topic of Itsfunneh, if you don't know her or her siblings then you should really watch them. Her channel is Itsfunneh. I really enjoy watching her and her siblings btw sorry if I spelled it wrong. I have a hard time spelling
Gensis M
I swear, sometimes I feel like I won't even live to make it to see my favorite YouTubers ik this might sound kid-ish but I really like watching Itsfunneh and her other siblings there all amazing people and when I was younger I would watch them 24/7, when I would go to bed I would but something from them on and I would have so many laughs but honestly guys I don't even think I'll live long enough to get older and see any of them or my favorite YouTubers. Cuz as some of y'all know (this was only kept between me and my friends and stuff but now I think it's a good time to share it) but after my cousin past from "over dosing"(at this point we don't know cuz the investigators can't find anything, even though there a bunch of bruises and cuts on him but even that they just said he over dose) but yeah ever since his death my mental health has been declining and rn I don't feel safe with my self so I'm trying to see if my mom can make me a appointment with my therapist more early and imma tell and ask my therapist if she can send me to the mental health hospital or psych ward cuz I already sh again for the 3 or so time and already people have been telling and demanding me to get help aka go to a mental health hospital and I wanna try but honestly if it doesn't work then I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so lost, I don't know who I am anymore. All I know is that I'm this so called "YouTuber who makes people happy with my videos" who has this big to make it big where I can see people I always wanted to meet or make new friends and have people watch my videos and enjoy it, not for the views but for the support and friends I make a long the way. Also for those people who think everythings ok, no nothing is ever ok my old cat that I had for 3 years past away two months ago and my cousin past away 1 month ago and the bullying at my school is getting worse and rn my mom's in debt though trying to make money off doordashing and other apps like doordash which ofc don't pay good enough and I have stuff like ADHD and serve depression and social anxiety and they have all been diagnosed from my doctors and therapist and psychiatrist and of which with having those stuff I need to get stuff for my needs like any type of squeeze ball or plushie to help me while in public and the same thing goes for clothes, I have a sensory issue and have a hard time wearing certain clothes but my mom cant always get me clothes for my needs so I usually stuck with all of my clothes for a whole year until school starts up and my dad takes me shopping with my mom. My parents are not together, they split up sometimes after I was born, I don't know why.my mom never told me why. My room at my mom's isn't good, my bed frame is broken and my light is dead and there's stains everywhere cuz my room used to be my 18 year old brother and which he was a gamer with his friends and he would always spill stuff. But hey it's better then not having a room at all like how it was when I was little and stuff. I got this room when I was like 12 or something but while younger I never had my own room at my mom's so I would have to sleep on the couch or sleep in my mom's bed. Also when I was younger younger like maybe 7 or something like that, my mom married a man and for awhile he was good but then after a bit he started getting verbally abusive and after a bit got psychically abusive. Not to me or my siblings but to my mom though I don't reamber all of it ALOT. I only remember when my mom and him got into a big fight where my mom had to take me and my siblings to a motel and stay there for a night, That's the only main thing I reamber that was bad about him. I only remember good times, I think my mind had gotten to that point were it tries to get rid of those memories and make them forgotten but I don't know. Theres more but that's all more personal and don't feel comfortable sharing but yeah. If I don't post in awhile that means I got send to the mental health hospital or psych ward or something. Btw back to the topic of Itsfunneh, if you don't know her or her siblings then you should really watch them. Her channel is Itsfunneh. I really enjoy watching her and her siblings btw sorry if I spelled it wrong. I have a hard time spelling
2 months ago | [YT] | 1