Ruff

Only Suffer Once

These 3 words have shaped my life a lot over the past while, in small and big moments.

There are 2 types of suffering. There is the REAL suffering, which occurs in the real world. Something occurs which causes us pain. The bus could skip your stop, you could drop your drink or your family could get run over by a drunk driver going at 69 miles per hour in a school zone - take your pick.

That’s the real suffering. You don’t have much control over it.

But then, after that, we choose whether we suffer or not. So the bus skips your stop and you can either get mad at that (thus suffering a second time) or you could just sit and wait for the next bus.

And so the question I ask myself is “What is the utility of suffering a second time?” And usually there is none. Being mad at the bus won’t cause the bus driver to back up and open the doors for you like you’re Thor pulling back your hammer magically to your command.

And so if you can’t change it - you may as well not suffer again. This is so much more realistic than what a lot of self improvement people say which is “Duuuude everything is in ur MIND. Just be zen and meditate. Pain is an emotion so if you can control your emotions, you can choose to not feel it.”

Which on paper is true but unless you’re a monk that has meditated for 50 years… It’s not practical at all. Yes I know suffering is technically all in your mind - but knowing that won’t stop me from suffering for the rest of my life.

I think trying to avoid suffering is impossible. But trying to only suffer once… that’s a balanced way forward.

And this is absolutely game changing. Every single time something happens, just say “I’m only gonna suffer once.” And leave it at that. I feel the buildup of annoyance gather in my chest… then once I say those magical words, I feel it physically go back down and disappear.

So today, just try it once. When you experience something unpleasant - Say those words. Only suffer once.

2 months ago | [YT] | 676