That is a great idea! So much time is lost dwelling in what we cannot change!
3 months ago
| 2
Thatās great. Youāre still finding ways to grow and take accountability as well.
3 months ago
| 0
I used to focus on the good, but idk what happened that now I focus on the negative when it comes to my mother.
3 months ago
| 0
The thing that always pops up in my head is they could have been much much worse meaning my parents compared to their lives mine was good but thatās the way some generations work āless than beforeā you see what I mean? But still they definitely shouldnāt have had children before my father died I took care of him he had a stroke and his brain changed he was a different person no longer aggressive and confrontational whatās funny is we were more alike than different that was evident towards the end yeah there were some good times and i believe a genuine attempt was made to have a functioning family and I agree if there were good times those shouldnāt be forgotten just because of the bad it just eats you up inside but it also helps to not live with oneās own parents that does help to clear the air a bit and give some breathing room to contemplate things
3 months ago
| 1
What an awesome idea. I stopped speaking with my dad quite a few years back (to put it lightly, my stepmother controlled our relationship and he allowed it to happen), but I still love and miss him dearly. My mom is still in my life, but I have had issues/trauma with her, too. And while I donāt have a personality disorder (my husband does), I feel like writing this positive list out may do my heart some good. Not to be too mushy or anything, but, I have been following you since day one and I love watching you grow and evolve as a person. You should be proud of yourself, Sara.
3 months ago
| 0
So, this is going to be tricky for me, because I remember making myself compartmentalize all the good. And I did. Now and then, a good memory escapes, but I hated my 3 abusers so much that I made sure Iād never trust them again. Now theyāre dead and Iām like, surely there was something good somewhereā¦.
3 months ago
| 0
My father was a marine corps special forces infantry marine in Vietnam who was so traumatized he had to go to a military nut house afterwards. So, he's pretty easy to forgive.
3 months ago
| 0
The truth always lies somewhere inbetween. Now there's a statement that can go a variety of directions, huh? Lol
3 months ago
| 0
You do a lot of reading, Sara, but there is only one book that can save you. Everything else is just a distraction.
3 months ago
| 0
I donāt have any good from either of my parents, what should I do? They are both seriously terrible peopleā¹ļø
3 months ago
| 0
cLuStEr B MiLkShAkE
Since those of us who have gone through childhood trauma and ended up with personality disorders, we tend to see our original caregivers in a negative light. I was reading a book this evening that reminded me that we are not all good or all bad. So I took out my little notebook and made a column for my mom and dad and wrote all the positive qualities and behaviors that I have see or experienced from them. In remembering, it made me feel lighter and kind of sad that I wasted much of my life not focusing on the good.
Namaste šš
3 months ago | [YT] | 118