On July 20th, I made one of the most significant commitments - I got married.
When I think about commitment, I’ve noticed my process of needing to update how I view it. It’s not a box or a prison sentence. Commitment is not a burden or even a duty.
I landed on commitment being a powerful invitation.
The powerful invitation can be met and asked from both sides. But what I hear from many of my female clients is the idea that the commitment they're looking for is too much.
They fear they're taking something away from men or that they're the only ones who benefit.
This mindset turns the conversation around commitment into a power struggle rather than a shared growth journey.
When we view commitment this way, it compromises our ability to speak from a place of possibility and vision.
Instead of offering an inspiring invitation, we find ourselves coercing, convincing, or even manipulating our partners into committing, sometimes resorting to ultimatums.
But here's the truth: How a woman views commitment greatly influences a man's excitement about the relationship.
If you view commitment as a compromise or a loss, it's not an inspiring reality for a man to enter.
And if you can relate to the above, it's time to shift this paradigm.
Let's explore the contrast between the old, limiting beliefs about commitment and a new, empowering perspective:
The old frame, Commitment as a Trap:
means losing freedom is a burden that weighs men down is controlling your partner It's a "necessary evil" for security limits personal growth and exploration is something women want, but men resist
This old view creates tension, fear, and resistance. It turns commitment into a tug-of-war rather than a dance of growth.
The New Frame - Commitment as a Catalyst:
- Commitment is a platform for mutual growth and evolution. When you both commit, you create a safe space for vulnerability and change. You're not just promising to stay together; you're pledging to grow together, pushing each other to become your best selves.
- It provides a secure base to take bigger risks in life. With a committed partner by your side, you have a safety net that allows you to pursue your dreams more boldly. Whether it's changing careers, starting a business, or exploring new passions, you have unwavering support.
- Commitment invites you to show up as your best self. It challenges you to bring your A-game every day. It's not about being perfect but about consistently striving to be the partner your loved one deserves, which in turn helps you become the person you aspire to be.
- It amplifies personal freedom through shared support. Rather than limiting you, true commitment expands your horizons. You're free to explore life's possibilities, knowing you have a partner who's got your back. Two committed individuals can achieve far more than either could alone.
- It's a vehicle for more profound self-discovery and authenticity. In the mirror of a committed relationship, you see yourself more clearly. Your partner's love and acceptance encourage you to embrace all aspects of yourself, fostering personal growth and self-acceptance.
It's a powerful choice that both partners make daily. Commitment isn't a one-time decision but a daily choice to love, support, and grow together. This conscious, ongoing commitment keeps the relationship fresh, dynamic, and deeply fulfilling.
In this new frame, commitment becomes an exciting invitation rather than a dreaded obligation.
It's not about clipping wings but about giving each other flight.
When you champion commitment from this perspective, you're not asking your man to give something up.
You're inviting him to gain everything - a deeper connection, a stronger sense of self, and a partner in crime for life's grand adventure.
This is the kind of commitment that doesn't constrain - it liberates.
Clayton Olson Coaching
Does being committed to you TRAP or LIBERATE?
On July 20th, I made one of the most significant commitments - I got married.
When I think about commitment, I’ve noticed my process of needing to update how I view it. It’s not a box or a prison sentence. Commitment is not a burden or even a duty.
I landed on commitment being a powerful invitation.
The powerful invitation can be met and asked from both sides. But what I hear from many of my female clients is the idea that the commitment they're looking for is too much.
They fear they're taking something away from men or that they're the only ones who benefit.
This mindset turns the conversation around commitment into a power struggle rather than a shared growth journey.
When we view commitment this way, it compromises our ability to speak from a place of possibility and vision.
Instead of offering an inspiring invitation, we find ourselves coercing, convincing, or even manipulating our partners into committing, sometimes resorting to ultimatums.
But here's the truth: How a woman views commitment greatly influences a man's excitement about the relationship.
If you view commitment as a compromise or a loss, it's not an inspiring reality for a man to enter.
And if you can relate to the above, it's time to shift this paradigm.
Let's explore the contrast between the old, limiting beliefs about commitment and a new, empowering perspective:
The old frame, Commitment as a Trap:
means losing freedom
is a burden that weighs men down
is controlling your partner
It's a "necessary evil" for security
limits personal growth and exploration
is something women want, but men resist
This old view creates tension, fear, and resistance. It turns commitment into a tug-of-war rather than a dance of growth.
The New Frame - Commitment as a Catalyst:
- Commitment is a platform for mutual growth and evolution. When you both commit, you create a safe space for vulnerability and change. You're not just promising to stay together; you're pledging to grow together, pushing each other to become your best selves.
- It provides a secure base to take bigger risks in life. With a committed partner by your side, you have a safety net that allows you to pursue your dreams more boldly. Whether it's changing careers, starting a business, or exploring new passions, you have unwavering support.
- Commitment invites you to show up as your best self. It challenges you to bring your A-game every day. It's not about being perfect but about consistently striving to be the partner your loved one deserves, which in turn helps you become the person you aspire to be.
- It amplifies personal freedom through shared support. Rather than limiting you, true commitment expands your horizons. You're free to explore life's possibilities, knowing you have a partner who's got your back. Two committed individuals can achieve far more than either could alone.
- It's a vehicle for more profound self-discovery and authenticity. In the mirror of a committed relationship, you see yourself more clearly. Your partner's love and acceptance encourage you to embrace all aspects of yourself, fostering personal growth and self-acceptance.
It's a powerful choice that both partners make daily. Commitment isn't a one-time decision but a daily choice to love, support, and grow together. This conscious, ongoing commitment keeps the relationship fresh, dynamic, and deeply fulfilling.
In this new frame, commitment becomes an exciting invitation rather than a dreaded obligation.
It's not about clipping wings but about giving each other flight.
When you champion commitment from this perspective, you're not asking your man to give something up.
You're inviting him to gain everything - a deeper connection, a stronger sense of self, and a partner in crime for life's grand adventure.
This is the kind of commitment that doesn't constrain - it liberates.
Yours in growth,
Clayton
7 months ago | [YT] | 29