I’m sorry for your loss. My dad passed from suicide 3 years ago and the world has been gray since then. Your feelings make sense and are totally valid. Enjoy your trip. 💜
2 years ago | 31
I'm so sorry, Len. I can tell he was very important to your life and I know how it feels to lose someone. I hope you feel a lot better - don't feel rushed to post anything. Love ya!!!
2 years ago | 10
Dude, from what I saw in the house video and others your father was the coolest. Laidback, hard-working with a super creative mind. His ideas for the house were so original and interesting. I lost my dad to cancer in 2015. He was at peace though. Thanks for sharing your story - I can relate... Your dad's figuring out another cool house where he's at now. Looking forward to the next video!! ✌️🌟 - John Giaccon
2 years ago (edited) | 16
I'm so terribly sorry for the loss of your dad, unfortunately, I've lost more than my fair share of family to cancer as well. In 2016 I lost my mom pretty quickly to ovarian cancer, she was only 62, then it just snowballed from there with both my grandmother's and my aunt and then just lost my uncle a month ago to lung cancer. The pain of losing a parent is like no other. Enjoy your road trip and be safe! We'll see you when you get back! 🥰🥰
2 years ago | 3
Dude I love your channel. Your lifestyle is truly inspiring. We’re certainly glad to hear from you. Thanks Len!🤘
2 years ago | 3
I'm so sorry, Len! Take you time. I'll be always around cause your videos bring me joy and help me get through hard moments. 💙
2 years ago | 5
Take your time and grieve, Len. My Dad has been gone 16 years. I still miss him. Mittens in the 70s and 80s with him were great.
2 years ago
| 9
May your father rest in peace, Len. I'm so sorry. My deepest heartfelt condolences for your loss. I lost my last grandparent, my maternal grandfather, my mother's father, last August as well, and it sadly and eerily reminded me of my own mortality. I pray that you heal and pull through this. Keep it coming, my friend. Your videos are quite the entertainment, especially the one where you and your friends were hanging out at the Sunset Strip.
2 years ago | 1
Oh Len, my heart hurts for you man. You've always reminded me of my older brother who taught me everything metal in the 80s/90s. Tragically we lost him at an early age in '08. A few years ago my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. He fought hard but it was too late. I, too, was able to spend time with him his last day. That's some hard stuff. In April of this year my little sister passed. It's just my mom and me left now. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. Other than sometimes misery loves company. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. On your 'good' days try to be proactive, go outside. On your bad days just try to rest and eat. You've got a lot of friends pulling for you out here. Take care my brother. Much love from Texas...
2 years ago | 1
Sorry for your loss Len. My dad passed in 2018 and now we're going through my mother battling colon cancer. I know exactly the feeling of how some s h I t just does not matter. After my best friend took his own life in 2001 I lost interest in so many things we did together. It took years before I would go skiing again. It's something that I still love but just not the same without him.. Know you're not alone in your feelings you have. They're normal but a PITA to get through.. You and I are close to the same age and your videos have brought back so many memories of the same shit my friends and I used to do. Wish you well.
2 years ago | 1
Sorry for your loss. Your dad left behind one hell of a cool son.
2 years ago | 0
My condolences.....take sometime off ...reflect.....recharge....and please comeback to represent our awesome youth......STAY STRONG LEN!!!!
2 years ago | 1
Enjoy your trip as much as you can brother. We all will pass away eventually may be today or tomorrow. Your dad is without pain now and hopefully there is a place where we can all be together again. Very sorry for your loss dude..
2 years ago | 1
So sorry for your loss, Len. Take all the time you need and use it to do whatever you need to do. I’m an only child and very close to my elderly dad so this broke my heart to read. We’re here for you whenever you want to come back and share something. Nothing but love ❤️
2 years ago | 0
Man, heart breaking news. Lost my Dad when I was young, know that pain. I really loved learning about yours, such an interesting human. I'm so sorry for your loss. The algorithm might suck but we'll still be checking for your updates. We love ya Len.
2 years ago | 0
Len Enders
I don’t really share super personal things about my current life here but since this is something that has had an effect on my YouTube upload output over the last year I thought it relevant.
If you’ve been a subscriber for a while then you know I only upload when I’m inspired to do so. From the beginning I made the conscious decision that I would not try to “make the algorithm happy” or upload on a super regular schedule just so people wouldn’t forget about me, etc.
So my uploads have always been somewhat sporadic but much more so over the last six months or so.
Late last year my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had spread to other organs. As many of you know this is essentially a death sentence.
He fought extremely hard but lost his battle after ten months on August 17th of this year.
At the very end he was in and out of knowing where he was and what was going on but I was fortunate to happen to be at his home on his last day. I got to sit with him and comfort him, hold his hand and tell him I loved him during some brief moments of clarity only a few hours before he left us. (I was his only child)
Some people get more creative during times of emotional hardship and dive head first into their art or craft but for me this has never been the case.
As I watched my father deteriorate over the last ten months my attitude towards creating for and uploading to YouTube drifted more and more into “who gives a f*ck?” and “what does this stuff even matter?” territory. This has included posting on other social media and responding to messages and comments.
Basically things that brought me joy had become kind of joyless.
Even going through the archives of my old home videos from the 80s and 90s to find something to upload became painfully depressing as most of those videos are from happy times living with my father.
If you are familiar with the video I posted about the strange and amazing house that my dad had been building all by himself since 1995: no, it was not completed. Not even close.
And no, I will not be taking it over to finish it.
It is in the hands of his widow and, since he had no money to leave, will probably eventually be sold as is so that she may support herself.
As many of you know, when you’re not feeding YouTube regularly with “amazing content that drives viewer engagement” etc. etc. you will be punished or at the very least sent to the sidelines. At this point my channel has essentially flatlined, which doesn’t bother me as I have never been on a mission to make YouTube my job, but it certainly doesn’t help to reinvigorate my excitement to jump back into creating videos.
All of this is to say that I’m definitely not going to stop creating or uploading videos, it’s just going to be a minute before I get back to the feeling of joy I had for it before my dad’s diagnosis.
In a few days I’m going to take a roadtrip for a few weeks or more to clear my head and reflect. Upon my return home I have plans for a very nostalgic, upbeat and fun video about my life as a metalhead in the 80s.
Thanks to everyone who has reached out in any form with kind words or support. I apologize for my delayed or total lack of responses over the last few months or more. I’m sure you understand.
If you haven’t seen the video I made about my father and his decades long, over-the-top house project there will be a link at the bottom of this post.
I uploaded it on the morning of his 70th birthday but since he didn’t use YouTube or have a computer, I had to create a single DVD copy and bring it to his house for him to see it.
A month or so later I actually printed out all of the comments the video had received just so he could read them.
This brought him great joy and numerous times he asked me when I was going to come over to do a follow up video.
Sadly I never got the chance to.
I promise I’ll be back to myself soon! Thanks so much for sticking around and being patient. It really means a lot to me. <3
-L3N
Here's the video about his house project- https://youtu.be/mijuIr7g6Is?si=SC2ZS...
2 years ago | [YT] | 563