I’m between Stage 2 & 3. We live together mostly out of necessity and talk is mostly of divorce, but is less and less as time goes on. I calmly listen, reflect, empathize, remain open, loving, stoic, for months. I let her go, made a promise to myself, no one would ever bring me down. I don’t need her, I don’t even think about her. If she doesn’t come back - no loss. I’m already okay without her.
10 months ago (edited)
| 3
I think I'm in stage 3 to 4, I consider myself lucky, we're doing pretty well, I've managed to take her out on a couple of date nights, not easy when you have kids. I feel that she is still on the fase of, "I love you but not in love with you", even though she is much more affectionate than when she was with the LO (limerent object , or affair partner). So things are looking up, keeping optimistic. Definitely still work in progress and even if she still doesn't know it, we will be back together and better than ever. I don't think I've ever studied and researched so much in my life as I have done in this last year. I think Josh from marriage mastery is great and is helping me a lot with his videos. However I would like to send a message of hope to the ones that have been in this painful situation for more than 10 weeks, as sometimes it can take a long time and a lot of patience and consistency. I've been working on the relationship and myself for about one year now, and believe me the change is massive since then. Some things you just can't microwave. Best wishes to all, this is probably the worst time of your life, but if you get it right there is a lot to look forward to.
10 months ago
| 3
One thing I can say is that my situation lined up so much with the behaviors your videos described. Her behavior, the things she said and the way she left. I followed your method of no contact at first, but it's never a one size fits all. Every situation is a little different and you do need to view this content through the lens of your own marriage. A good example is that I tried a little too hard to not be needy and ended up making her feel unwanted. It was a step backward. But I've made some slight adjustments and shes moving back in soon. We've had several explosive intimate nights and she's now saying how much she loves me. It's been eight weeks
9 months ago | 0
A mix i of 3 and she is still with the affair partner when she can be. I am trying to be there for us and she inflicts pain and trauma on a daily basis by us living in the same house. Our son, 14, hates her and is pushing her further out the door while I am fighting everyone, including myself, to pull her back to reality. Her luminance is strong but weakening and she started telling me she loves me and I'm the greatest person she's ever known. Then she snaps back to but the AP is her person. My son says AP is the the dollar store clearance aisle version of me, but I never had drug or mommy addiction. Women who affair down are insane. Yay for her midlife crisis, I am changing careers, adding a new side Hustle, and am down 30 pounds since May started. 👊
10 months ago | 1
I think she’s already sleeping with someone and wants no contact with me other than about our child. Just filed for divorce this week.
10 months ago | 0
Divorce is not an option for either of us, for our children's sake. It's been 19 months since we've been intimate. However we are very real with each other and equally try snd make the other happy. She wishes she could just "feel different " and feels bad about not giving me what I need but also that she needs to take care of herself for once. I went through all the feelings and truly think in time we will get there. I'm not trying to hurry fix anymore and instead being a better man and great dad. Let go of anger and talk to Jesus. Also need to understand its hard on them too. I've learned a ton from Josh and get encouragement to never give up or get lazy again.
10 months ago | 0
We are still living together. But her replies are very plain. She hasnt tell me if her feelings for another guy is still there or not. I'm trying to focus on myself and make my self better. And keen to do a CLC letter to her.
10 months ago | 1
We’ve been separated for over a year now and she’s living with her affair partner. I feel like I lost a family member. She reaches out from time to time mainly about our pets. I stay casual and keep it short. I don’t know what else to do but let her go.
10 months ago | 0
Between stage 2 and 3 was on my way to 4 then slipped back to 1. I’ve actually told her I was going to take space from her and the tests started ramping up. Pretty sure I’ve passed most of them as they keep happening even one tonight.
10 months ago
| 2
Avo and malicious allegations regarding our children… yet there’s no talk of divorce.
10 months ago | 1
I have been solid and feel better about myself but she is cold full of negative resentment
10 months ago | 0
Marriage Reset
What Stage Are You With Your Wife? I know these aren't a perfect depiction of ALL marriage situations, but it helps guide the content moving forward!
10 months ago | [YT] | 12