I think I have to come out and say it, I am deep into my sad clown arc. I don't want to go into too much detail, but my mum was hospitalized around the time of my birthday, then I got sick, and now my dad has been hospitalized. Needless to say my motivation is in the bin, and has been for some time now.
It's kinda put a lot of things in perspective. Not to sound too up my own arse, but when I started this channel I was _internally_ motivated, it was all about what I wanted to make, but YouTube has a way of forcing _external_ motivations on you. Which is what it is, it's part of The Game, but it turns out that external motivations aren't particularly motivating when you have significantly more important things going on. When times are tough, internal motivations feel like an outlet, external motivations feel like a chore. Does that make sense?
I'm not going to make any grand statements about the future of the channel, because honestly I'm not really in the right headspace to be making those decisions. I'm certainly not quitting, and I really do want to get back to having fun (I could be doing with a good laugh just as much as everyone else at this point). But I'm also not really sure what the future of the channel is. Maybe I damn the algorithm and start long form series again, maybe I try my hand at Very Professionalâ„¢ game reviews for the banter, maybe I go full videogamedunkey and just do whatever I feel like in the moment, who knows. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this without any concrete information tbh, I guess I just don't want you to think I'm sitting here not bothering my arse, taking everyone's support for granted.
Speaking of which, I cannae thank everyone enough for their support over the years, especially just now. Everyone's banter in the comments and the discord really helps keep my head above water, and I'm not sure I could afford to not post for a month+ without the extra little buffer patreon and youtube memberships give. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to entertain you anywhere near as often as I would like to, but once the storm settles and the skies clear we'll right this ship and be on our merry way (got to end with a pirate metaphor). Until then, take care of yourselves, and each other 💙
The Laughing Simon
I think I have to come out and say it, I am deep into my sad clown arc. I don't want to go into too much detail, but my mum was hospitalized around the time of my birthday, then I got sick, and now my dad has been hospitalized. Needless to say my motivation is in the bin, and has been for some time now.
It's kinda put a lot of things in perspective. Not to sound too up my own arse, but when I started this channel I was _internally_ motivated, it was all about what I wanted to make, but YouTube has a way of forcing _external_ motivations on you. Which is what it is, it's part of The Game, but it turns out that external motivations aren't particularly motivating when you have significantly more important things going on. When times are tough, internal motivations feel like an outlet, external motivations feel like a chore. Does that make sense?
I'm not going to make any grand statements about the future of the channel, because honestly I'm not really in the right headspace to be making those decisions. I'm certainly not quitting, and I really do want to get back to having fun (I could be doing with a good laugh just as much as everyone else at this point). But I'm also not really sure what the future of the channel is. Maybe I damn the algorithm and start long form series again, maybe I try my hand at Very Professionalâ„¢ game reviews for the banter, maybe I go full videogamedunkey and just do whatever I feel like in the moment, who knows. I'm not even sure why I'm posting this without any concrete information tbh, I guess I just don't want you to think I'm sitting here not bothering my arse, taking everyone's support for granted.
Speaking of which, I cannae thank everyone enough for their support over the years, especially just now. Everyone's banter in the comments and the discord really helps keep my head above water, and I'm not sure I could afford to not post for a month+ without the extra little buffer patreon and youtube memberships give. I'm really sorry I haven't been able to entertain you anywhere near as often as I would like to, but once the storm settles and the skies clear we'll right this ship and be on our merry way (got to end with a pirate metaphor). Until then, take care of yourselves, and each other 💙
4 months ago | [YT] | 1,512