SO TRUE: 2 Tim 3: 1-5 gives a list of nasty type people, and ends with? AVOID SUCH PEOPLE!!! God is such a PRACTICAL GOD!!!
4 weeks ago | 11
Yes, access is earned but also is determined by desire. Forgiving someone does not necessarily restore my desire to be with them. There are plenty of people who have never wronged me that I simply don't like hanging around. with. Why should the offender have it better than them?
3 weeks ago (edited) | 0
YES! We share a kid, but small talk with the narc is so uncomfortable and makes me want to jump out of my skin. I can’t flea fast enough.
3 weeks ago | 11
An apology so, they can continue and continue and continue the same ole same ole. Peace is wonderful.
4 weeks ago | 12
I absolutely love this! Confirms everything. Forgiveness and access are not the same thing! ❤
4 weeks ago | 17
I needed to see this today. Some Christian people seem to think you should welcome all people into your life no matter what. Makes me crazy. Toxic people just can't be important in your life when they don't take responsibility for their part.
3 weeks ago | 6
I don’t even think a apology would help. I saw who they really are and I just can’t unsee it!
3 weeks ago | 0
..especially if they are relatives like own mother, brother, cousin...they all pretend like everything is fine whilst I am boiling inside...no/ and low contact is the only way out.
3 weeks ago | 2
I had this painful experience to keep the peace with a person who still owes me an apology but would never realise and acknowledge as they will only protect their ego
3 weeks ago | 3
This is exactly how I feel! I was trying to understand why it felt so gross when my husband was talking to me like everything is normal after I just told him I'm leaving him due to his abusive behavior. He suddenly started doing things around the house too and I'm super annoyed. No apology, no acknowledgement whatsoever, just joking around and being super nice guy.
4 weeks ago | 8
This was the first thing I saw when I opened my YouTube app! I know this is what I have to do for myself. It’s been extremely hard. I need to get your book so I can do this properly. 🙏
3 weeks ago | 0
The only time I finally started to heal was when I cut myself out of "the network" at age 60 - not just the narc but enablers - and resolved to stop explaining anything. It revealed who really cared for me, which was less than 5 people including, fortunately, my 2 adult children. 2 years later, I'm still healing but finally found peace.
3 weeks ago | 4
If you still expect an apology, then you don't know anything about forgiveness...expecting an apology means you still feel that person is indebted to you...even if the apology is the debt, so how can that be forgiveness? Yes safe boundaries are always good, and we can love a person deeply and have safe boundaries without having any expectations. Just to make it clear, small talk is not overstepping a boundary, unless it's abusive. This is a wonderful post to excuse those who want to nurture their unforgiveness, and want their hardened hearts justified... A voice that hears about their hurt. And I understand that, we all want that. Sorry if I do step on toes but forgiveness means it's completely gone... If you do not fully love that person, then you still have some progress to make on your forgiveness. To acknowledge this is part of healing. And it doesn't happen magically, but it's about a willingness and a humbleness(which many people don't like). If you expect God to forgive you that way, to forget and love you fully (which He does, cause if He didn't you'd/we'd all be condemned to hell), so knowing His standard then you better well understand that He expects that of you too. We cannot go against His standard and justify it cause it's convenient. It's hard to forgive, but it's expected and necessary for our own spiritual health and safety, especially if we call ourselves a Christian... There's only 2 ways for a Christian to not make heaven, one is unforgiveness (justified or not) and the other is to deny Him, as in, not wanting anything to do with Him and hardening yourself to the Holy Spirit. If we harden our hearts through justifying unforgiveness, we are playing with fire, literally. Jesus clearly states, we are only forgiven in the way we forgive... If you forgive halfway, you are forgiven halfway...and we cannot afford to be forgiven halfway. He says, if you don't forgive, then my Father in heaven won't forgive you either. If we really understand the weight of that statement. It can cost you your eternity, if you are not forgiven, you are stained and if you are stained you are condemned and it's not because He doesn't love you, it's your own justified unforgiveness, that's the scale on which your forgiveness is measured, this is serious to God. I know true forgiveness is difficult because it hurts of course, but like I said, it's not about the ability, but about the constant willingness to want to and to discipline ourselves against judgement, retaliation and revenge. God says revenge is His. I don't usually comment on things like this. But knowing the cost of someone ending in the wrong place because of something like unforgiveness is justified or nurtured by a big voice. And I know many people tell me, I forgive but I don't forget. Im sorry, but that's not forgiveness. Though I love Kris Reece. I love how she helps people in so many ways on how to handle very difficult situations. And I deeply respect her. Just this point is very close to my heart, unforgiveness CANNOT be nurtured, or justified cause it can cost you your eternity with our King. Be blessed... And forgive truly.
3 weeks ago | 0
Kris Reece
Forgiveness Doesn’t Equal Access 🚫
Sometimes we forget that forgiveness and access are not the same thing. ✨
You can forgive someone in Jesus’ name and genuinely wish them well - but that doesn’t mean they’ve earned a front-row seat in your life again.
They don’t get to show up with small talk and pretend nothing happened.
That’s not reconciliation...that’s delusion. 🤦🏼♀️
Forgiveness means you’ve released the offense.
It means you’re not carrying bitterness, rehearsing the pain, or seeking revenge. 💛
But access?
Access is for people who are safe, accountable, and willing to own their part.
If they can’t even acknowledge where they’ve wronged you, they haven’t earned the right to stand that close again.
Keeping your distance isn’t unforgiveness - it’s wisdom.
It’s called discernment. 🔍
You can forgive fully and still chose not to hand someone the privilege of proximity.
Forgiveness is given. ✝️
Access is earned. 🔐
If this hits home for you, you’ll love my new book, Breaking the Narcissist’s Grip - it’s all about setting guilt-free boundaries and finding freedom from toxic people (even if you can't escape)
👉 amzn.to/46hmd5e
4 weeks ago | [YT] | 1,941