You don’t get to pretend you “opted out” of the dating market. You didn’t remove yourself. You were filtered out…
Let me be clear: I am very comfortable with categorizing women. I do it openly to remove certain dating stressors for single men. I say a woman is either wife material or she’s “other things.” And let’s be honest, whether people like the language or not, that distinction exists in real life. If a woman says she doesn’t want marriage, won’t cook, doesn’t believe in long-term commitment, but is still willing to have sex, most men SHOULD NOT argue with her. You simply place her where she belongs. Not in the wife category, but still “useful to the group.”
I’ve also heard men call certain women “leftover.” Over 30. Kids. Too much baggage. Not what they’re looking for. Again, harsh language, but it’s a reflection of how men evaluate options in the dating market.
But here’s the question men almost never ask themselves. If you’re not a husband…what category are you in?
Because the categories for men do not mirror the categories for women. Women can be placed into a wife box or a non-wife box and still have some level of dating utility. Men don’t get that luxury.
For men, there are really three outcomes. You’re a husband. You’re sexually desirable. Or you’re not useful on the dating market at all!
And that third category is where a lot of uncomfortable truths live.
Because if you are not being chosen for commitment and you are not being chosen for sex, then you don’t get to pretend you “opted out” of the dating market. You didn’t remove yourself. You were filtered out.
A lot of men online love to say, “I’m done with women. I’m done dating. The market is broken.” No, it’s not broken. The dating market evaluated you and moved on. And instead of improving what you bring to the table, you adopted internet talking points to protect your ego.
That’s not strategy. That’s avoidance.
Here’s the part men don’t want to hear: a woman you don’t want to marry can still be useful to the dating ecosystem. A man who qualifies for neither sex nor commitment has zero leverage. Zero utility. Zero influence.
So when men spend all day calling women leftovers, the real reversal is this: at least those women are still being selected for something. If you’re not even being considered, you’re not in competition, you’re invisible.
And invisibility in the dating market isn’t caused by feminism, hypergamy, or social media. It’s caused by a lack of development. If you don’t have physical presence, social competence, confidence, direction, stability, or leadership, women are not “punishing” you. They’re responding rationally.
Dating is not a morality contest. It’s not fair. It’s not supposed to be fair. It’s evaluative. Women are allowed to say, “This is what I offer and this is what I don’t.” Men need to be honest enough to ask themselves, “What do I offer and who is choosing me because of it?”
If you’re not a husband and you’re not sexually desirable, then no amount of podcast clips or comment-section rage is going to save you. The only solution is improvement.
Not complaining. Not quitting. Not blaming. Building. Women constantly ask themselves, “Am I wife material?”
Men need to start asking a much harder question: Am I useful at all? And if the answer is no, the market isn’t the enemy. It’s the mirror, so what are you going to do about it?
Medium Man
You don’t get to pretend you “opted out” of the dating market. You didn’t remove yourself. You were filtered out…
Let me be clear: I am very comfortable with categorizing women. I do it openly to remove certain dating stressors for single men. I say a woman is either wife material or she’s “other things.” And let’s be honest, whether people like the language or not, that distinction exists in real life. If a woman says she doesn’t want marriage, won’t cook, doesn’t believe in long-term commitment, but is still willing to have sex, most men SHOULD NOT argue with her. You simply place her where she belongs. Not in the wife category, but still “useful to the group.”
I’ve also heard men call certain women “leftover.” Over 30. Kids. Too much baggage. Not what they’re looking for. Again, harsh language, but it’s a reflection of how men evaluate options in the dating market.
But here’s the question men almost never ask themselves. If you’re not a husband…what category are you in?
Because the categories for men do not mirror the categories for women. Women can be placed into a wife box or a non-wife box and still have some level of dating utility. Men don’t get that luxury.
For men, there are really three outcomes. You’re a husband. You’re sexually desirable. Or you’re not useful on the dating market at all!
And that third category is where a lot of uncomfortable truths live.
Because if you are not being chosen for commitment and you are not being chosen for sex, then you don’t get to pretend you “opted out” of the dating market. You didn’t remove yourself. You were filtered out.
A lot of men online love to say, “I’m done with women. I’m done dating. The market is broken.” No, it’s not broken. The dating market evaluated you and moved on. And instead of improving what you bring to the table, you adopted internet talking points to protect your ego.
That’s not strategy. That’s avoidance.
Here’s the part men don’t want to hear: a woman you don’t want to marry can still be useful to the dating ecosystem. A man who qualifies for neither sex nor commitment has zero leverage. Zero utility. Zero influence.
So when men spend all day calling women leftovers, the real reversal is this: at least those women are still being selected for something. If you’re not even being considered, you’re not in competition, you’re invisible.
And invisibility in the dating market isn’t caused by feminism, hypergamy, or social media. It’s caused by a lack of development. If you don’t have physical presence, social competence, confidence, direction, stability, or leadership, women are not “punishing” you. They’re responding rationally.
Dating is not a morality contest. It’s not fair. It’s not supposed to be fair. It’s evaluative. Women are allowed to say, “This is what I offer and this is what I don’t.” Men need to be honest enough to ask themselves, “What do I offer and who is choosing me because of it?”
If you’re not a husband and you’re not sexually desirable, then no amount of podcast clips or comment-section rage is going to save you. The only solution is improvement.
Not complaining. Not quitting. Not blaming. Building. Women constantly ask themselves, “Am I wife material?”
Men need to start asking a much harder question: Am I useful at all? And if the answer is no, the market isn’t the enemy. It’s the mirror, so what are you going to do about it?
~ Medium Man
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