Every couple has had moments of grace, intoxicating infatuation, the feeling that โthis is the person I want to live with until the end of my life,โ but then it fades. Why did we receive such feelings? Why did they go? Is it possible to make those feelings stay forever?
Animals have the whole gamut of hormones, instincts, mating and reproduction seasons worked out for them by nature. Only we humans find ourselves confused in our relationships. We struggle to choose a partner, then struggle to live with them, and we live in a constant struggle.
Love studies are the profession of the future. In a world with so many divorces, betrayals, thoughts of breaking up, and where so many couples stay together only out of necessity, in days when relationships have become very complicated, there is an urgent need to teach love. If we know how to build love, it will make us healthy in every way, save us much stress and anxiety, and it will also positively influence children, the entire next generation we are raising. We will discover that nothing is missing, everything aligns, and that love brings light into every aspect of our lives, at home, work, and throughout society.
Building love requires conscious mutual work that combines mind and emotion. It runs in contrast to the feeling of infatuation, which is given to us as a gift so that we understand the level of emotional intensity we can reach, but which also makes us lose our heads a little. The spontaneous feeling of infatuation quickly fades away in order to let us build bonds of love ourselves.
First of all, we should agree between us that we want to develop love, to give birth to it, and not wait for it to fall on us from some unknown source. We want to build our love, to hold on to it no matter what, so that it provides us with support, a good feeling, and warmth throughout our life. For that, we will have to learn how to share with our partner, our inspirations, our excitements, to measure them, talk about them, convey them to each other clearly, until we can increase our love more and more, despite the routine that threatens to dull all flavor.
The internal factor we fight against in the process of building love is the ego that dwells within each of us. The ego is our selfish nature, as it is written "the inclination of the human heart that is evil from youth." In our times, the ego has grown to such proportions that it has become unclear what to do with it, as it constantly manipulates and confuses us. We need to know how to navigate it, how to manage it instead of letting it manage us. If we approach this task together, then we will become a mature "research couple."
We build romantic love when we each rise above our ego, "give it up" so to speak, in order to connect with the other. Then, love becomes the common emotion we feel between us as a result of mutual concessions and mutual consideration. To the extent that we give ourselves up, clear space within ourselves into which the other can enter, give up our demands, the criticism that comes from the need to feel our superiority, that we do not approach our partner with complaints but only with smiles, then this space where we conceded our ego fills up with love. Mutual love is created when we have a space in each other's hearts, and we feel each other mutually in each other's hearts.
In the process of building love, we can distinguish between three different zones that exist in our relationship. The first zone will include the love we have already built. The second zone will include everything we wish to work on now, i.e., to make mutual concessions in order to build love. The third zone will include everything we are currently unable to connect over or to concede, which is what we will not touch for now. Gradually, we will strive to transfer more and more parts of our relationship into the zone of love. Along the way, we will need to help each other and provide positive examples. We will each show the other how much we are willing to concede for them, so that we can build love between us.
After we have described the process in broad strokes, we should return to the starting point and suggest some practical exercises. Even if we do not feel it yet, it is highly recommended to start treating our partner from now on as the most special person in the world: the most beautiful, wise, and important. To begin realizing this, we should imagine our perfect partner in every way, creating a rich internal image of them with all the details and features. We should then take the feeling of appreciation we have toward that perfect figure we constructed in our imagination and transfer it to our partner. Start treating them as if they were truly perfect. Elevate them to the status of king or queen.
Doing so requires letting go of the picture we now actually see before our eyes, a picture far from perfect and full of problems, and accept our partner as if they were ideal. We must say this to them in words, describing it in as much detail as possible, without holding back. After a period of such mutual exercises, we will discover that our lives begin to change for the better, that we truly see our partner in a new light, and they reciprocate similarly. Love enters in the common space where we both worked to treat each other this way.
Even though this exercise sounds clear in theory, it becomes difficult in practice. For example, if we are about to arrive home and we know that we will end up getting annoyed with our partner, as usual, then what do we do?
Even in that case, we must relate not to the reality we see, but as if everything were perfectly tidy. Without doing so, love will never come. Love will come to us only if we show each other how we accept and want one another despite all the negativity and problems that arise. We wish to love our partner as they are, the way their mother loved them, giving the same warm and embracing feeling.
So, before we enter the house, we should say to ourselves: โMy partner is perfect. I love them,โ similar to how we once felt toward them, when we were head over heels in love. Back then we did not care if the house was messy. Of utmost importance was that we were together. Therefore, before entering the house, we should think about how someone who is our source of life is waiting for us. It is the person who understands us the most, cares for us, and can always help us.
To make it easier to prepare, we can take a sheet of paper and write about our problem, processing it in the direction of its solution. For example:
Love gives us fulfillment that is far greater than anything else, as if it is from a perfectly tidy house. When we walk into a tidy house and enjoy it, for instance, the enjoyment fades after a few minutes. That is how it is with anything that gives us personal pleasure. After some time, the feeling fades away, and this goes for any new shiny material item, whether it be a new house, car, clothes, and so on. Only love is tied to eternity, and only it can give us a sense of fulfillment and pleasure on completely different levels. The pleasure from love is the only one that can continually grow, precisely because of the resistances that will constantly arise against it. The ego will stir up distance, rejection, criticism, and hatred between us again and again, and we will continually see several flaws in our partner, and again and again we will have to concede in order to rise up to love.
Concession adds flavors to love. It gives love validity and existence. Without it, we would not feel love. That is why life sends us new frictions and opportunities for concessions. Nothing falls on us by chance. Life is a training ground for self-correction and the development of love. If we achieve a loving attitude toward others, then such a direction becomes unlimited. We will stop suffering. We will become completely fulfilled, and we will feel elevation beyond all boundaries of reality. A new and good world will open up before us. It does not matter who is the person standing opposite us, because the inner work is done toward ourselves. โLove your neighbor as yourselfโ is the ultimate formula for the correct perception of reality. Partners, friends, acquaintances, coworkers are all merely tools for correcting our own attitude toward the whole of reality.
Kabbalahinfo
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐๐ผ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฒ?
Every couple has had moments of grace, intoxicating infatuation, the feeling that โthis is the person I want to live with until the end of my life,โ but then it fades. Why did we receive such feelings? Why did they go? Is it possible to make those feelings stay forever?
Animals have the whole gamut of hormones, instincts, mating and reproduction seasons worked out for them by nature. Only we humans find ourselves confused in our relationships. We struggle to choose a partner, then struggle to live with them, and we live in a constant struggle.
Love studies are the profession of the future. In a world with so many divorces, betrayals, thoughts of breaking up, and where so many couples stay together only out of necessity, in days when relationships have become very complicated, there is an urgent need to teach love. If we know how to build love, it will make us healthy in every way, save us much stress and anxiety, and it will also positively influence children, the entire next generation we are raising. We will discover that nothing is missing, everything aligns, and that love brings light into every aspect of our lives, at home, work, and throughout society.
Building love requires conscious mutual work that combines mind and emotion. It runs in contrast to the feeling of infatuation, which is given to us as a gift so that we understand the level of emotional intensity we can reach, but which also makes us lose our heads a little. The spontaneous feeling of infatuation quickly fades away in order to let us build bonds of love ourselves.
First of all, we should agree between us that we want to develop love, to give birth to it, and not wait for it to fall on us from some unknown source. We want to build our love, to hold on to it no matter what, so that it provides us with support, a good feeling, and warmth throughout our life. For that, we will have to learn how to share with our partner, our inspirations, our excitements, to measure them, talk about them, convey them to each other clearly, until we can increase our love more and more, despite the routine that threatens to dull all flavor.
The internal factor we fight against in the process of building love is the ego that dwells within each of us. The ego is our selfish nature, as it is written "the inclination of the human heart that is evil from youth." In our times, the ego has grown to such proportions that it has become unclear what to do with it, as it constantly manipulates and confuses us. We need to know how to navigate it, how to manage it instead of letting it manage us. If we approach this task together, then we will become a mature "research couple."
We build romantic love when we each rise above our ego, "give it up" so to speak, in order to connect with the other. Then, love becomes the common emotion we feel between us as a result of mutual concessions and mutual consideration. To the extent that we give ourselves up, clear space within ourselves into which the other can enter, give up our demands, the criticism that comes from the need to feel our superiority, that we do not approach our partner with complaints but only with smiles, then this space where we conceded our ego fills up with love. Mutual love is created when we have a space in each other's hearts, and we feel each other mutually in each other's hearts.
In the process of building love, we can distinguish between three different zones that exist in our relationship. The first zone will include the love we have already built. The second zone will include everything we wish to work on now, i.e., to make mutual concessions in order to build love. The third zone will include everything we are currently unable to connect over or to concede, which is what we will not touch for now. Gradually, we will strive to transfer more and more parts of our relationship into the zone of love. Along the way, we will need to help each other and provide positive examples. We will each show the other how much we are willing to concede for them, so that we can build love between us.
After we have described the process in broad strokes, we should return to the starting point and suggest some practical exercises. Even if we do not feel it yet, it is highly recommended to start treating our partner from now on as the most special person in the world: the most beautiful, wise, and important. To begin realizing this, we should imagine our perfect partner in every way, creating a rich internal image of them with all the details and features. We should then take the feeling of appreciation we have toward that perfect figure we constructed in our imagination and transfer it to our partner. Start treating them as if they were truly perfect. Elevate them to the status of king or queen.
Doing so requires letting go of the picture we now actually see before our eyes, a picture far from perfect and full of problems, and accept our partner as if they were ideal. We must say this to them in words, describing it in as much detail as possible, without holding back. After a period of such mutual exercises, we will discover that our lives begin to change for the better, that we truly see our partner in a new light, and they reciprocate similarly. Love enters in the common space where we both worked to treat each other this way.
Even though this exercise sounds clear in theory, it becomes difficult in practice. For example, if we are about to arrive home and we know that we will end up getting annoyed with our partner, as usual, then what do we do?
Even in that case, we must relate not to the reality we see, but as if everything were perfectly tidy. Without doing so, love will never come. Love will come to us only if we show each other how we accept and want one another despite all the negativity and problems that arise. We wish to love our partner as they are, the way their mother loved them, giving the same warm and embracing feeling.
So, before we enter the house, we should say to ourselves: โMy partner is perfect. I love them,โ similar to how we once felt toward them, when we were head over heels in love. Back then we did not care if the house was messy. Of utmost importance was that we were together. Therefore, before entering the house, we should think about how someone who is our source of life is waiting for us. It is the person who understands us the most, cares for us, and can always help us.
To make it easier to prepare, we can take a sheet of paper and write about our problem, processing it in the direction of its solution. For example:
"๐๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ๐บ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ณ๐จ๐ถ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐จ๐ช๐ฏ๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ถ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฎ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ฆ๐ณ. ๐๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง๐ต๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด ๐ถ๐ฑ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐ท๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ด๐ต๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ด ๐ฐ๐ง๐ง ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐จ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ต. ๐๐ฆ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ถ๐ด ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ข๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ค๐ข๐ถ๐ด๐ฆ๐ด ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฆ๐น๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ. ๐๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ค๐ฆ๐ด๐ด๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ, ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฆ๐จ๐ฐ, ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ช๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฅ๐ณ๐ข๐ธ๐ด ๐ถ๐ด ๐ข ๐ฏ๐ข๐ณ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฎ๐ช๐ต๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ข ๐ฃ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ช๐ค๐ต๐ถ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ข๐จ๐ฆ๐ด ๐ด๐ข๐บ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ต๐ฉ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฏ ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ด๐ค๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ข ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ธ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฅ๐ช๐ง๐ง๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ญ๐ฅ, ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐ฃ๐ฆ๐ข๐ถ๐ต๐ช๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ญ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ช๐ด ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ด๐ต๐ณ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ. ๐๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฆ, ๐ธ๐ฆ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฆ ๐จ๐ณ๐ข๐ต๐ฆ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ ๐ฏ๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ฑ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ถ๐ฏ๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ท๐ฆ๐ด, ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ณ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง๐ช๐ด๐ฉ ๐ข๐ต๐ต๐ช๐ต๐ถ๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ๐ธ๐ข๐ณ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ข๐ณ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ถ๐ด, ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ค๐ญ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ข ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ต๐บ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ญ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ."
Love gives us fulfillment that is far greater than anything else, as if it is from a perfectly tidy house. When we walk into a tidy house and enjoy it, for instance, the enjoyment fades after a few minutes. That is how it is with anything that gives us personal pleasure. After some time, the feeling fades away, and this goes for any new shiny material item, whether it be a new house, car, clothes, and so on. Only love is tied to eternity, and only it can give us a sense of fulfillment and pleasure on completely different levels. The pleasure from love is the only one that can continually grow, precisely because of the resistances that will constantly arise against it. The ego will stir up distance, rejection, criticism, and hatred between us again and again, and we will continually see several flaws in our partner, and again and again we will have to concede in order to rise up to love.
Concession adds flavors to love. It gives love validity and existence. Without it, we would not feel love. That is why life sends us new frictions and opportunities for concessions. Nothing falls on us by chance. Life is a training ground for self-correction and the development of love. If we achieve a loving attitude toward others, then such a direction becomes unlimited. We will stop suffering. We will become completely fulfilled, and we will feel elevation beyond all boundaries of reality. A new and good world will open up before us. It does not matter who is the person standing opposite us, because the inner work is done toward ourselves. โLove your neighbor as yourselfโ is the ultimate formula for the correct perception of reality. Partners, friends, acquaintances, coworkers are all merely tools for correcting our own attitude toward the whole of reality.
๐ง๐ผ ๐น๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป ๐บ๐ผ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฎ๐น๐ฎ๐ต, ๐ท๐ผ๐ถ๐ป ๐ฎ ๐ณ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ป๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ฒ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐จ
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3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 68