To each their own. I was with someone for 17 years, not married because of spiritual differences. The year we came to our senses and decided to get married, she passed away. It was a beautiful relationship and it saved my life. I don't think I repeat that dynamic again in the future, but I have 0 zero regrets towards what her and I shared. R.I.P My Love.
2 months ago
| 15
Unless you are dogmatic in your spiritual beliefs, communication style compatibility is more important.
2 months ago
| 23
I'm in a secure functioning marriage and have studied holistic counselling (includes lots of different modalities of psycho biological knowledge and principles based on Jungs work) and on my own healing spiritual path. My husband is corporate and at the peak of his game. We have extremely different outlooks on life but somehow meet in the middle perfectly suited to each other. I'm convinced he is already enlightened in this lifetime and yet I'm on the path to actively become it. He models so much of a soul who has done the work yet has done little to no actual spiritual shadow work in his life. Yet I'm constantly learning, healing. We get along and have no spiritual conflict or dissonance. I never would have believed that possible in a relationship until I married this man and am having this experience with him. He is my teacher in so many ways. I do think attachment styles correlate to one's needs to seek the spiritual path. Secure functioning humans already have internal security so don't seem to seek spirituality as much in my observations. Anxious or avoidant types seem to seek it on their healing path.
1 month ago | 5
I am very spiritual, while my husband has had limited spiritual beliefs, especially when we met and is less open to the unknown as I am. He told me recently (10 years into being together) that he admires my spirituality 😊 I can see that bit by bit his horizons broaden every year. That said, I would never ever impose anything on him, that would be unfair. So tolerating and accepting differences is the key for both of us :)
2 months ago
| 7
I don't know and I also don't know why Dr Hawkin's Power vs Force came to mind. Spiritual belief/path whether in or out of alignment would require respect for each other's personal walk and differences. The giving of yourself, the recieving of another in their deepest truth, is a sacred and a powerful exchange in itself. Spiritually, you learn them, they learn you "naturally", giving with understanding, receiving with understanding. Power, not forced. It could work.
2 months ago
| 5
Please make a video on The Book by Marie Louise Von Franz on Puer Aeternus. It's a very paradoxical problem, that's what I get when I read the book by her. How can we approach IFS therapy for this problem? It's a very crucial problem faced by many in this generation. It would be great if you consider making a video on this!
1 month ago
| 1
This is so dependent on how you define the terms…and also on how one’s spirituality is integrated with attachment style and value systems. I married someone who was a self-professed Christian, and part of my long-term commitment to him was rooted in the expectation that at least part of our growth would include joint interest and attention to this type of spirituality. Things have changed, and I can say that we are making it “work,” but what I cannot say is that the connection remains the same. I’ve had to reframe my relationship to him. If a large aspect of my identity is invested in my spirituality, and it receives no mutual interest/attention or nurturing, then emotional and intellectual distance are inevitable. I’d be very curious to find out how others make that distance work out well for both individuals in the long run. I’m speaking of thriving, and not merely surviving 🙏
1 month ago
| 0
I think being open and respectful of each other's views and spiritual beliefs is important for a healthy relationship.One can evolve into a different belief system, or spiritual practice. Mocking each other's belief systems is a sure fire way to destroying the trust and safety of the relationship, and it will slowly die..
2 months ago
| 3
Some relationships are a lot more about company than deep interpersonal alignment. People can get years and years out of the former before something non-spiritual comes along to disrupt it.... Relationships take a lot of different forms—far more than I can think of. I hesitate to prescribe a structure to them.
2 months ago
| 5
Just wanted to express my thanks for this question. Enjoying reading the varying perspectives. It’s something I’ve been grappling with for several years as someone who is single and trying to date. It’s helpful to see what others’ experiences have been. I would love to be in a place internally that many people here describe — the ability to have different views as long as values align. It’s funny, after deconstructing my own beliefs from my upbringing (extremely religious) to now identifying as “spiritual but not religious,” I find myself almost returning to the same dogmatic view that I have to be with someone who is also spiritual but doesn’t “fall” for the trap of religion. I mean no disrespect to those who choose to practice a religion and honestly I often wish I could still. I don’t think it’s something you can intellectually decide to do, though, while still practicing it the way it’s intended. That calling has to come from a deeper place within for it to work, and it’s not something you can just decide to believe (at least I think based on my experience). All that to say, I’ve often wondered if my framing thinking that our spirituality has to align is incorrect. And if it’s not really just that I’ve traded one dogmatic view for another… and to be clear, I respect others’ beliefs so I only mean dogmatic in the sense of it only being okay to date people who align with my belief system (which was also what I grew up being taught in the religious environment). For some reason, being with someone who doesn’t have a spiritual life has been triggering for me, but I’m starting to think it’s just pointing out my own shadows and judgments and tendencies toward enmeshment. Not exactly sure how to rid myself of these challenges, but I at least recognize that they may be holding me back. At the same time, I do have a deep desire to be with someone who has a similar outlook on life spiritually. Maybe it really does come down to values, though, and if those values are aligned, the rest works itself out. One final thought I just had is that I never want to feel confined in my growth journey. I never would have imagined myself where I am now (worldview), so who’s to say it will be in the same place in 10, 20 years. It probably won’t be. So if I’m looking for a life partner (I am), then I can’t possibly expect they match my beliefs, since that would mean expecting them to morph their beliefs according to how and when mine morph. We have to be allowed space to grow as individuals. So then it does come back to underlying values. So being with someone who at least at the beginning has a similar belief system would be nice but with the values as the foundation and one of those values being that we are each on our own journey and that might mean our beliefs may change over time. I meant for this to only be the first paragraph, but thanks for the space to work out my thoughts on the matter!
1 month ago | 0
I think it's just love and acceptance. Hubby has completely different spiritual views to me. I love listening to how he came to those beliefs and he asks me questions about mine. When our kids ask questions the other parent would be better at answering we happily refer to that parent instead of trying to convince a different way. The differences are what makes it interesting.
2 months ago
| 3
I chose it depends, because I don't think it's about spiritual beliefs per se, more about what both people value. Like if one person believes in new age stuff and the other is a Muslim, but both of them inherently agree on valuing all life and they both agree on how to do that then I think a relationship would work. Whereas, if both were Muslim, but one valued life and the other just followed scripture to the word then it wouldn't work. It's all about what someone values, what they find important and how that meshes with another person's values. Religious/spiritual belief is almost inconsequential to how someone actually chooses to exist and live their life. It's not about what they say they believe in, it's about what kind of person they actually are, free of any labels, how do they show up in the world and does that align with what both of you actually genuinely value. If the values match then one person can believe in the cookie monster and another can believe in Inanna and it would be inconsequential because that's not really what matters at the end of the day.
2 months ago
| 6
Spiritual compatibility certainly makes life easier, but it is not essential. A true spiritual practice does not rely on others being a certain way for us to be our best. Love and acceptance for all ways of seeing is what’s required, and so spiritual difference in a relationship can actually be incredibly conducive to practice and proper understanding. Myself and my partner are evidence of this. I won’t deny it has definitely presented big challenges, but we have been together over 20 years and are genuinely very happy. The payoff of sticking with it is far greater than what you could ever achieve by chasing some idealistic notion of happiness. All that said, this is a choice, and everyone has the freedom to choose differently. I’m just saying it’s totally possible and just as rewarding - because the reward DOES NOT come from the circumstance …It comes from how committed you are to your choice.
1 month ago
| 0
I’ve found that similar values are very important. We have compatible but not identical spiritual/religious “beliefs”. We support one another’s journey, and are open and communicate well with one another.
1 month ago | 0
One can be a "believer" and the other an atheist, but if their daily actions (towards themselves, their partner, and others) are aligned with godly principles (truth, love, justice, compassion, etc) then they are, in practice, more compatible spiritually than most couples who claim to share religious or spiritual beliefs.
2 months ago
| 2
Being raised with similar values makes communication and creating a shared vision for our future a lot easier. We are from the same social class, geographical area etc as well so we think alike about a lot of things.
2 months ago
| 0
If one is spiritual and the other is not then it needs to be discussed what can and can’t be said or questioned. It’ll always be a wonder if because of your spouses belief that they may or may not be with you in the afterlife, but again, there was never any guarantee of that anyway. I made sure my ex got up for church even though I am not a believer. But that’s who she was and I loved all aspects of her.
2 months ago
| 0
It really depends. I think it can work. But you need open minded individuals.
2 months ago
| 2
It’s a generality but I would say yes because spirituality when taken seriously is the core world philosophy and outlook. I definitely couldn’t date a hardcore Christian or religious person myself. In fact that’s actually been the biggest limiting factor for me personally when searching for a partner
1 month ago
| 0
Jordan Thornton - Inner Work
Do couples need the same spiritual beliefs for their relationship to work in the longterm? Comment your reasoning.
2 months ago | [YT] | 32