I don’t have to say that communication is KEY when it comes to repairing after a fight.
But with some of my clients, every time they try to talk things out with their avoidant partner, their partner shuts down, walks away, or seem completely unbothered…😩
This is not uncommon.
The thing is, when it comes to expressing emotions and wanting clarity in relationship— ✔️ We know exactly how to articulate what’s on our mind. ✔️ We're emotionally invested in finding solutions. ✔️ We genuinely want to make things work.
So… why does it feel like the more we try to fix things, the further away they pull?
Well, brace yourself—because here’s the truth: 🚨 Pushing for a conversation right away won’t help us reconnect. In fact, it’s likely making things worse.
Avoidants don’t handle conflict the same way anxious partners do. They don’t “talk it out” to feel better—they need space first to process before re-engaging.
If we are constantly chasing, apologizing, or over-explaining, we're reinforcing their biggest fear—losing their autonomy and feeling emotionally controlled.
So here’s your starting point: ✅ Give them space to regulate. They will come back when they feel safe. ✅ Focus on your emotional regulation instead of panicking over their silence. ✅ Recognize their repair attempts (it might look like a casual check-in, not a deep convo).
Want a simple roadmap for handling this the right way? Click this link, for the 30 scripts and scenarios that help rebuild connection—without the chase.
Briana MacWilliam
I don’t have to say that communication is KEY when it comes to repairing after a fight.
But with some of my clients, every time they try to talk things out with their avoidant partner, their partner shuts down, walks away, or seem completely unbothered…😩
This is not uncommon.
The thing is, when it comes to expressing emotions and wanting clarity in relationship—
✔️ We know exactly how to articulate what’s on our mind.
✔️ We're emotionally invested in finding solutions.
✔️ We genuinely want to make things work.
So… why does it feel like the more we try to fix things, the further away they pull?
Well, brace yourself—because here’s the truth:
🚨 Pushing for a conversation right away won’t help us reconnect. In fact, it’s likely making things worse.
Avoidants don’t handle conflict the same way anxious partners do. They don’t “talk it out” to feel better—they need space first to process before re-engaging.
If we are constantly chasing, apologizing, or over-explaining, we're reinforcing their biggest fear—losing their autonomy and feeling emotionally controlled.
So here’s your starting point:
✅ Give them space to regulate. They will come back when they feel safe.
✅ Focus on your emotional regulation instead of panicking over their silence.
✅ Recognize their repair attempts (it might look like a casual check-in, not a deep convo).
Want a simple roadmap for handling this the right way? Click this link, for the 30 scripts and scenarios that help rebuild connection—without the chase.
👇CLICK THIS LINK👇
onlinecourses.brianamacwilliam.com/repair-scripts-…
3 months ago | [YT] | 76