Well that explains what happened to those videos. Also I'm glad that you and Amanda are doing well and hopefully you two will be able to find a home for yourselves. Even though all of us miss you we would rather you take the time to focus on yourself and get everything situated before returning to us. Sincerely you're weird and yet adorable fans and family P.S we love you ♥️
2 weeks ago | 0
Ulandos
Hello those who read.
I have experienced a lot in the last 3 years.
With the onset of back problems – I experimented with a myriad of ways to get through life.
As a result of life, and mental health, and more life – being vague here deliberately lol – in a nutshell – since my spiritual awakening, the thing I call a “personality” has been through a rollercoaster.
My understanding of the universe – where I fit within it, where everyone fits within it – really started to come through in the things I was posting. I’ve always enjoyed philosophy, psychology, and ontology, and I knew for years that diving too deep into any of them might send me off the edge – which aligned with what I’d observed about how my Pure O (Pure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) functions. That, combined with my neurodivergent mind and my curiosity for space, existence, sci-fi, creativity, and legit metaphysical stuff that science hasn’t quite caught up with yet, made for an intense mix.
Amanda and I got to experience some of these “supernatural/otherworldly” phenomena together – and some of them I got to experience alone.
How much of it was generated via the mind’s creativity? No idea.
How much was actually “metaphysical”? No idea.
But as time goes on, I become more aware of the distinctions between the two – and it’s deeply personal now, as it always should have been – but how could I have known lol.
It felt right to remove a bunch of videos from the onset of my spiritual awakening – it felt like it was a deeply personal thing that I couldn’t wrap my head around at the time.
I wanted to share everything with everyone. I love being open and transparent – but as I learn more about how the world works, how I work with the world as an autistic individual – things become clear – through trial and error.
Trial and error in a technological age is a bit fucked though, to be honest. Just look at the concept of cancel culture. What is meant to be a fleeting moment from the past can be dredged up and utilized against someone in their present.
Of course, if you’re hellbent on snooping, there is the Wayback Machine and others to talk to about it all – but in a nutshell – from 27 to 30 – I experienced amazing life growth, spiritual growth, mental health episodes that went far and beyond what I thought I knew about Pure O and where it can lead – and so much more.
I am unsure if I can ever return to gaming for youtube – but that doesn’t fuss me – as my new gaming is gardening. Might at some point do a gardening youtube channel lol. It fills my heart with joy and fun – gardening. It's one of the only fun things I can do these days without having my back and neck implode for the time being.
Amanda and I are still looking for a place to call home. Then we can finally resume our lives in some format.
Me – my mental health – maybe even return here every now and then to do a livestream.
And her – creative writing that she’s always wanted to do.
We’ve never had a place of our own – we’re trying to get there.
I know my life purpose is to spread awareness about a subset of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder called Pure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder – as some of you may know, who kept up with stuff, I was beginning to write a book. After events with some unfortunate humans, my own mental health started to deteriorate. The book is on hold now – so is, legit, everything I want to pursue for a future life.
We are pseudo-homeless – staying in a room that’s been offered to us as a haven for the time being – and we are seeing firsthand the abysmal situation of the economy at the moment.
As artificial intelligence starts to take the stage just like the internet did back in the early 2000s (or even the ’90s, depending how you look at it), you’ll probably see me utilizing it.
AI is not going to replace people.
People who use AI will replace people who don’t use AI.
I’ve seen firsthand how amazing it is at extrapolating one’s own creativity – but it does have limitations. It’s only as intelligent as the black-box systems make it and, more importantly, as the person who speaks directly to it.
It’s a reflection of you, in a way.
So if you give it profoundly creative stuff, or feed it frameworks on the universe, or amazing topics that you're working on in your career – it will exponentially explode your work and creativity a thousand-fold if you know how to use it right.
I imagine going forward it's going to be amazing for those of us with issues in navigating life physically and mentally. It's already allowed me to further enhance and sort strange phenomena that I experience with Pure OCD with the utmost clarity – and break it down.
I'm no psychologist, no psychiatrist – just a dude who has lived with this rare disorder for two decades and wants to share what I know about it – how I’ve navigated life with it too.
AI is helping me do that so much.
Since AI came out – with the combination of some other stuff I do – the sort of progress I made with my mental health was amazing.
Of course, you repair one burst tyre, another one decides to explode – LOL – such is life.
But imo – don’t be afraid of it.
Learn to utilize it in creative ways that distinguish you from the garbage-in, garbage-out crowd, and you’ll have an amazing experience with something that is going to be a major part of our lives moving forward – whether you like it or not.
Last of all, there’s an interesting TED Talk that dives into this: Spiritual Awakening vs. Psychosis – a fascinating thing I’ve got to experience firsthand.
There are distinct pieces I still keep finding from some of my psychosis episodes – but then also other moments where it was clearly Spiritual Awakening.
It’s gonna be a hoot writing about it in the future lol.
📺 Spiritual Awakening or Mental Illness? | TEDx Talk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFtsH...
There’s a lot to our universe that’s still undiscovered – sci-fi lovers, fellow philosophers, explorers, scientists, etc. – but there’s also a shit ton of mental health that can get infused into the process of discovery and lead you off the deep end.
Beware your wandering eye, you little perifian.
2 weeks ago | [YT] | 31