First, I want to say how much I have learned from your podcast and both your and Rick's work. Your work has been a wellspring of healing for me and I have deep respect for the integrity behind your research and presentation. Secondly, my question is: For those of us with histories of trauma that leave us feeling like we are not fulfilling our potential if we don't achieve more, and those thoughts keep coming back around time and time again, how can we differentiate between what is a true, authentic desire and what is an impulse driven by fear of never measuring up? Or, put another way, is this inner pulling toward doing more coming from a genuine want or is it just my "trauma brain" always finding a way to make me feel like I'm not good enough or doing enough? Thank you again for all you do ❤️
2 years ago
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Honoured to join your membership offering! It's my first and only... The work you are doing and offering is so worthwhile and I adore sharing it with others! I've personally grown so very much from immersing myself in your podcast. Thrilled to see your followers growing 💗
2 years ago | 3
You two are rare gems. You pattern a relationship behavior that is a model for us all. The problem is in how rare you both are. Like Rick and probably about the same year, I was fully aware by the age of 4, something was very wrong with my parents behavior. Since then I sought authenticiy in others. Although never specifically addressed, adults who knew my parents would seek me out and spend time with me as a child. I found authenicity within them. Why they sought me out, Im not sure. I was glad to have had the time with them, all women back in the 1950s when women did not hold jobs. Today, with the huge advanced in psychology, I can say both my parenrs were two very delusional narcissits with few friends. I have two requests which I feel will very much stretch you because you have had good, well intended relationships over your lives and that you have been able to build on, a good foundation as it were. Without this foundation, however, many struggle. 1.I have recently started reading a book by Kelly McDANIEL called 'Mother Hunger' that describes this lack poignantly. With mine there was not even an attempt at nurturing. She was mechanically going to have 6 (then 7 babies) and I, as the oldest, was going to raise them. That way she would get the 'honor' for being a mother, as well as the audience she narcissitally needed. No effort went into 'mothering' at all. I was left 'holding the (baby) bag' as it were. I found as I left the situation this was not uncommon as far as the attitude towards mothering. Can you maybe have Kelly McDaniel for an interview..your stretch is what question you would ask, youselves not coming from this background. 2. I have become very leerly of others 'good intentions' as a matter of pride. I see no authenticity in it. Like our primitive survival fff response to fear and danger that is not working in our stressful society, I find our survival in the need for social contact troubling with so many lacking authencitity or at the least any amount self-awareness, ..all that I witnessed so early in my childhood. Today, I find people more judgemental than ever to those others not adherring to the collective thought they try to create amongst relationships as a guard against ..growth? learning? ...survival? (why¿) All, as the outcome is destroying us as a humanity and guarding against new ideas to help solve our larger issues as nations. I do not believe that our deep seated issues can be solved by being more socialized unless we can find any modem of not only authenticity but true self-awareness for which few are willing to do the work required in self-observation. How do we point out motives solely base on 'good intensions' as masks when they only bouy self-esteem and not the self-worth(your other more recent and best cast) that desolves into our universal whole? Thank you both for your work.
2 years ago | 0
How can I, as a healer and psychotherapist, navigate my relationship with my romantic partner who is highly narcissistic, without trying to “fix” him, but still supporting his growth, and having healthy boundaries for myself in it too?
2 years ago | 2
I am wondering whether to talk about my abusive childhood to my almost - grownup kids, while I am still in the process of healing?
2 years ago | 3
Hi, first off I want to thank you for the content you provide! I find it very interesting and insightful to listen to the conversations you have with your dad and I get a lot of inspiration from your podcast! My question is this; Do age gaps in relationships matter? I’m currently dating someone 16 years older than me and I feel more cared for than I ever have in a relationship before. Our relationship didn’t start conventionally, I was an employee at the job I work at now and had fantasies about being with him as my manager, turned out he wanted that too. Now I’m assistant manager and really enjoy the dynamic that it’s turned into since we started seeing each other. It’s almost been a year and I feel like I could potentially marry this guy. Just wondering what your thoughts are on the situation?
2 years ago | 1
Any advice on helping a younger, teenage sibling in a dysfunctional family system? (As an older sibling who has left the household) Thank you for all you do with this podcast, I hope you're both well 😊
2 years ago
| 2
Thanks so much for your valuable content. I’m a psychotherapist and have been really enjoying your style and message. Have you and your dad delved into Internal Family Systems or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy on the channel yet?
2 years ago | 3
How can couples who have been in a relationship since they were young start to develop their individual sense of selves now as adults/ be less codependent?
2 years ago
| 3
Hi! I’m 25 and I recently found out I’m a twin. I’m not entirely sure what happened but I know my twin died before birth, not sure when. Could you explain how this could affect the surviving twin?
2 years ago | 1
Have you come across the the extremes from perfectionally functionality obsessively clean to microscopic to complete overwhelm….shut down and chaos I know it doesn’t exist what do I see and break down from one extreme to another. And the self hate, ocd to a hoarder omg I just can’t do it anymore I see every detail I know it hypervigilence but even knowing doesn’t help I spent a 2 weeks in my room I was just so bad everything felt like I was dressed in lead dragging through water and to find help in uk? I have a diagnosis with add Ons I just I to disassociate to stay alive locked in a house. I Cope in cycles and it’s the stupid things that collapse it like a house of cards 😭
2 years ago | 0
My nephew has problems. After Doing Street Drugs. Math, pain pills, etc Know is is caze
2 years ago | 0
Forrest Hanson
I'm starting to prep for our next mailbag/Q&A episode. If you have a question you'd like to have answered on the podcast, let me know by commenting below!
2 years ago | [YT] | 24