Sometimes I feel like I’m letting my community and my friends down. I feel at times I’m not a good enough content creator or Rocket League player.
The videos aren’t good enough. I don’t post the things that maybe people need or want to watch. I post not often enough. My content is selfish and I post videos that maybe make me happy but not the viewers.
My gameplay is not good enough. My rank is too low. I’m a “washed” “hardstuck” nobody who can’t even hit SSL. I’ve been GC every season for the past 5 years and my improvement is like watching paint dry. Not noticeable and slow. I have nearly 10k hours and nothing to show for it.
Some days I want to quit, but I don’t because I feel like I’m so close to achieving greatness. And if I quit I’m letting everyone down. I feel like I’m the shining beacon of light in a difficult and bleak game where most people feel there is no hope of improving at the game.
And if I quit then everyone else will follow suit. And my dream of being one of the greatest RL Players/ content creators will die and I’ll be accepting my RL era is over.
I can’t accept that my time is up for playing this game and that the hours I’m putting in are becoming more and more wasted. I’m compelled to keep going just simply because I feel like there’s still so much more work to do.
I haven’t hit the highest rank in the game, I haven’t made all the videos that I want to make. So many things I want to do, but every passing day makes me feel like I’ll never achieve all of it and that I’ll never reach these extremely arbitrary goals I’ve set for myself.
I could literally quit everything right now. Never play another game of RL and stop posting videos because I have free will. I have free will, yet I continue to do things that may or may not make me happy.
Going for SSL doesn’t feel like a choice anymore. I feel like I have to hit it or else this 8 years I’ve spent playing this game was all for nothing.
My ego and soul won’t let me quit. This video game is deadlocked into my soul and being and I can’t leave it until I’m satisfied; Which will be never apparently.
I wish I could hit this stupid rank so that I could leave Rocket League as a HERO who achieved his goals and not some QUITTER who’s a coward and gave up because it’s too hard or wasn’t willing to to put the work in.
RL Coach Shazanwich
Sometimes I feel like I’m letting my community and my friends down. I feel at times I’m not a good enough content creator or Rocket League player.
The videos aren’t good enough. I don’t post the things that maybe people need or want to watch. I post not often enough. My content is selfish and I post videos that maybe make me happy but not the viewers.
My gameplay is not good enough. My rank is too low. I’m a “washed” “hardstuck” nobody who can’t even hit SSL. I’ve been GC every season for the past 5 years and my improvement is like watching paint dry. Not noticeable and slow. I have nearly 10k hours and nothing to show for it.
Some days I want to quit, but I don’t because I feel like I’m so close to achieving greatness. And if I quit I’m letting everyone down. I feel like I’m the shining beacon of light in a difficult and bleak game where most people feel there is no hope of improving at the game.
And if I quit then everyone else will follow suit. And my dream of being one of the greatest RL Players/ content creators will die and I’ll be accepting my RL era is over.
I can’t accept that my time is up for playing this game and that the hours I’m putting in are becoming more and more wasted. I’m compelled to keep going just simply because I feel like there’s still so much more work to do.
I haven’t hit the highest rank in the game, I haven’t made all the videos that I want to make. So many things I want to do, but every passing day makes me feel like I’ll never achieve all of it and that I’ll never reach these extremely arbitrary goals I’ve set for myself.
I could literally quit everything right now. Never play another game of RL and stop posting videos because I have free will. I have free will, yet I continue to do things that may or may not make me happy.
Going for SSL doesn’t feel like a choice anymore. I feel like I have to hit it or else this 8 years I’ve spent playing this game was all for nothing.
My ego and soul won’t let me quit. This video game is deadlocked into my soul and being and I can’t leave it until I’m satisfied; Which will be never apparently.
I wish I could hit this stupid rank so that I could leave Rocket League as a HERO who achieved his goals and not some QUITTER who’s a coward and gave up because it’s too hard or wasn’t willing to to put the work in.
9 months ago | [YT] | 4