🧠💔 Attachment Theory: Why Trauma Survivors Are Targeted by Cults & Narcissists 💔🧠
Hi friends, it’s Queen of Karma here 👑 I want to open up a bit before diving into this topic.
I’ve been diagnosed with Complex PTSD (CPTSD) since I was 26 — I’m 38 now. Over the past 12 years, I’ve done extensive therapies, research, and deep inner work. I’ve lived through trauma, survived narcissistic abuse, and escaped high-control systems.
So when I talk about how cults and abusers manipulate people with trauma — I’m not speaking from theory alone. I’m speaking from experience, empathy, and the hope that this helps someone else feel seen and safer.
Let’s talk about Attachment Theory — and how it plays a huge role in why some of us fall into cults or toxic relationships.
🔍 What Is Attachment Theory? Developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, Attachment Theory explores how the relationships we have with early caregivers shape how we connect with others as adults.
There are four main attachment styles: 1️⃣ Secure – Trusts others, comfortable with closeness 2️⃣ Anxious – Craves connection, fears abandonment 3️⃣ Avoidant – Dismisses closeness, values independence 4️⃣ Disorganized – A mix of fear and desire for connection, often trauma-based
If you grew up with neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving, your attachment style may have developed as a way to survive. But as adults, those survival strategies can leave us vulnerable to manipulation — especially from cults or narcissists.
🧠 Trauma & Mental Health: The Perfect Storm People with CPTSD, depression, anxiety, or other trauma disorders often feel: 🔹Lonely or emotionally disconnected 🔹Desperate to be accepted or loved 🔹Unsure of their instincts 🔹Isolated from safe communities
This makes us more likely to fall for the false promises of cults or abusive figures who show up with:
✅ Love-bombing ✅ “You belong here” energy ✅ Answers to life’s hardest questions ✅ A clear identity and purpose
They don’t heal you — they trap you using the wounds they pretend to soothe.
🕸️ How Cults Exploit Insecure Attachment 👉🏻Anxious types are pulled in by constant validation, but punished for questioning. 👉🏻Avoidant types are praised for strength, then guilted for “not being loyal enough.” 👉🏻Disorganized types are thrown into chaos with mixed signals, abuse, and conditional love — all under the guise of “growth” or “spiritual tests.”
These aren’t just tactics — they’re psychological hooks designed to keep you dependent.
🛠️ How to Protect Yourself & Begin Healing 🔹Learn Your Patterns – Discover your attachment style and how it affects your relationships. 🔹Go to the Root – Therapy (especially trauma-informed) helps rewire your sense of safety. 🔹Redefine Belonging – Healthy love doesn't punish independence or curiosity. 🔹Choose Safe People – Find those who support your healing instead of demanding loyalty.
You are not broken. You were hurt — and you were trained to survive in systems that punished your pain. Now you’re learning how to thrive, not just survive. And I’m cheering for you every step of the way. 💛
Queen of Karma
🧠💔 Attachment Theory: Why Trauma Survivors Are Targeted by Cults & Narcissists 💔🧠
Hi friends, it’s Queen of Karma here 👑
I want to open up a bit before diving into this topic.
I’ve been diagnosed with Complex PTSD (CPTSD) since I was 26 — I’m 38 now. Over the past 12 years, I’ve done extensive therapies, research, and deep inner work. I’ve lived through trauma, survived narcissistic abuse, and escaped high-control systems.
So when I talk about how cults and abusers manipulate people with trauma — I’m not speaking from theory alone. I’m speaking from experience, empathy, and the hope that this helps someone else feel seen and safer.
Let’s talk about Attachment Theory — and how it plays a huge role in why some of us fall into cults or toxic relationships.
🔍 What Is Attachment Theory?
Developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, Attachment Theory explores how the relationships we have with early caregivers shape how we connect with others as adults.
There are four main attachment styles:
1️⃣ Secure – Trusts others, comfortable with closeness
2️⃣ Anxious – Craves connection, fears abandonment
3️⃣ Avoidant – Dismisses closeness, values independence
4️⃣ Disorganized – A mix of fear and desire for connection, often trauma-based
If you grew up with neglect, abuse, or inconsistent caregiving, your attachment style may have developed as a way to survive. But as adults, those survival strategies can leave us vulnerable to manipulation — especially from cults or narcissists.
🧠 Trauma & Mental Health: The Perfect Storm
People with CPTSD, depression, anxiety, or other trauma disorders often feel:
🔹Lonely or emotionally disconnected
🔹Desperate to be accepted or loved
🔹Unsure of their instincts
🔹Isolated from safe communities
This makes us more likely to fall for the false promises of cults or abusive figures who show up with:
✅ Love-bombing
✅ “You belong here” energy
✅ Answers to life’s hardest questions
✅ A clear identity and purpose
They don’t heal you — they trap you using the wounds they pretend to soothe.
🕸️ How Cults Exploit Insecure Attachment
👉🏻Anxious types are pulled in by constant validation, but punished for questioning.
👉🏻Avoidant types are praised for strength, then guilted for “not being loyal enough.”
👉🏻Disorganized types are thrown into chaos with mixed signals, abuse, and conditional love — all under the guise of “growth” or “spiritual tests.”
These aren’t just tactics — they’re psychological hooks designed to keep you dependent.
🛠️ How to Protect Yourself & Begin Healing
🔹Learn Your Patterns – Discover your attachment style and how it affects your relationships.
🔹Go to the Root – Therapy (especially trauma-informed) helps rewire your sense of safety.
🔹Redefine Belonging – Healthy love doesn't punish independence or curiosity.
🔹Choose Safe People – Find those who support your healing instead of demanding loyalty.
📚 Support Resources:
🌐 Attachment Project - www.attachmentproject.com/
🌐 Freedom of Mind – Steven Hassan - freedomofmind.com/
🌐 Recovering from Religion - www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
🌐 Out of the Fog (Narcissistic Abuse Support) - outofthefog.website/
You are not broken.
You were hurt — and you were trained to survive in systems that punished your pain.
Now you’re learning how to thrive, not just survive. And I’m cheering for you every step of the way. 💛
#AttachmentTheory #CPTSD #NarcAbuse #CultRecovery #TraumaInformed #MentalHealthAwareness #HealingJourney #QueenOfKarma #AntiMLM #SpreadAwareness #EndTheStigma #Trauma #Survivor
18 hours ago | [YT] | 13