𝐋𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐚💋

💥 Certified Mess by Noor 💥
Ep. 1 – “My Brain Needs Wi-Fi (a.k.a. I Didn’t Sign Up for This)”
☁️ Theme: stage fright, public humiliation, and accidental survival 😭🎤

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🌅 Scene 1: The Unexpected Summoning
It was a normal morning — birds chirping, anxiety screaming louder than the bell.
I walked into school like a normal human, invisible… until my friend goes,
“Bro, it’s assembly today. You’re in it.”
Me: “Nope. Not today. Cancel me.”
Universe: “LOL nope.”
Principal’s daughter: “Ma’am, tell Noor to come on stage.”
Principal: “Why should I? She should realize it herself.”
Me internally: “Self-awareness? Expired 2012 💀”

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📖 Scene 2: The Mic vs Me
So I’m on stage — mic glaring at me like I owe it money.
I said, “I’ll do Hadith” (basically a short, famous saying — like a mini life tip).
She said, “No, Tilawat.” (basically reading a small holy verse — think short poetic reading with meaning).
Me: “Uhhh… I am zero prepared.”
Her: “Do Tilawat with translation.”
Brain: disconnected. Soul: fled. Hands: buffering 💀💀
I remembered ONE line. ONE.
Me: “Maybe I can survive.”
Spoiler: barely.

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😳 Scene 3: The Blank Void
I start reading the Tilawat — pretending to be holy, calm, all Zen.
Then comes the translation.
Blank.
White.
Nada.
Brain: “No signal. Try again later.”
I whisper to the girl next to me, “Tell me the first word…”
She whispers it. I pray. I somehow finish.
Hands shaking. Voice trembling. Soul screaming.
Thought in my head:

> “Ya Allah, please let the floor swallow me whole 💀”



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😩 Scene 4: The Legendary Aftermath
I leave the stage like a Wi-Fi router that just lost connection.
Principal: “Shabash.”
Me internally: “Is that a compliment or a warning? 😭”
Back in class — crickets.
Everyone: pretending nothing happened.
Me: shook, shattered, almost crying.
Everyone else: debating chips flavors. 😭☁️

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💅 Mood Meter:
Confidence – ❌
Embarrassment – 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Brain Function – buffering…
Pride – 0%
Trauma – premium edition unlocked 😭

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🌙 Plot Twist of the Day:
You forget your lines, shake like a leaf, maybe almost die on stage —
but somehow, you survive.
That, my friends, is ✨Certified Mess✨ energy 💗

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🖤 End of Episode 1

1 week ago | [YT] | 4