heyyo ! ! ! dropping in once again to let y'all know i'm still alive and give some updates about what i had originally planned for the coming months
first and foremost, i don't have anything planned for the vy2 anniversary this year, so if you don't see me in your feed around then, don't worry w as for the zola anniversary, though, i'm kind of hesitant to admit it but as much as it pains me, i get the feeling i'll be skipping it as well this year
i've had some really big plans hanging around for months, and while i Was™ on track to finish everything back in december, the health fiasco around the same time really threw a wrench in the works and prevented me from getting back into it until late march, early april. not only that, but by the time i did have the opportunity to come back, i realized that i?? didn't really have many positive feelings left about the whole thing??
or i guess more concretely, i suddenly found myself sitting in the middle of a bunch of hefty, half-finished projects that demanded a level of time and dedication i wasn't sure i was willing to part with (i.e. i'd basically need to start working and not stop until june 20th in order to finish) and—as i tried paring things down to make the work more manageable—found myself thinking more and more about what sort of expectations people would have from THE kyo person for the big ten year anniversary
i think in short, it stopped being fun. it's a sort of thing i've been feeling creeping in for years, with each anniversary covering being bigger and more tedious than the last because i couldn't help but feel like i had to keep growing to keep up with the community. for the most part, i could always press through because i had the momentum and there was some amount of fun to be had in seeing it all come together, but with the sudden break in my workflow for this year, i think it was kind of impossible to come back—not when i'd had a chance to actually focus on enjoying myself with short term projects during my recovery
i'm still holding out hope i might be able to pull things together for some anniversary in the future (i mean, i've put in a lot of work so far ! ! !) but i definitely think it's something i need to let myself naturally come back to instead of pushing and pushing and forcing myself to work on it when i'd rather be doing something else w i'm realizing i just work best when i feel like no one's waiting or looking, and i'm starting to come to terms with that w
beyond that, i'm still working on UTAU development ! ! ! i know it's been quiet here, but i've been recording me, recording friends, .oto'ing so much i feel like my eyes are going to roll out of my head, and dreaming up what it'll be like once they're all finally done w they're nice long-term projects that i can (for the most part) safely pick up and put away without feeling overwhelmed by the mess when i get back, and it feels nice getting to decide my own deadlines (if any) rather than locking myself in a constant cycle of working on anniversary after anniversary w
it sucks having the 'brain refuses to focus long-term' disease and the resulting 'has nothing to show because all that work is spread across many little things that will be completed much slower than if they were worked on wholesale' syndrome but ! ! ! ! i'm making the most of it w
in any event, i hope y'all are having a good year so far ! ! ! and i hope you're taking time to find what you enjoy (or reconnect with what you already enjoy in a healthier, more healing way) w
MioDioDaVinci
heyyo ! ! ! dropping in once again to let y'all know i'm still alive and give some updates about what i had originally planned for the coming months
first and foremost, i don't have anything planned for the vy2 anniversary this year, so if you don't see me in your feed around then, don't worry w as for the zola anniversary, though, i'm kind of hesitant to admit it but as much as it pains me, i get the feeling i'll be skipping it as well this year
i've had some really big plans hanging around for months, and while i Was™ on track to finish everything back in december, the health fiasco around the same time really threw a wrench in the works and prevented me from getting back into it until late march, early april. not only that, but by the time i did have the opportunity to come back, i realized that i?? didn't really have many positive feelings left about the whole thing??
or i guess more concretely, i suddenly found myself sitting in the middle of a bunch of hefty, half-finished projects that demanded a level of time and dedication i wasn't sure i was willing to part with (i.e. i'd basically need to start working and not stop until june 20th in order to finish) and—as i tried paring things down to make the work more manageable—found myself thinking more and more about what sort of expectations people would have from THE kyo person for the big ten year anniversary
i think in short, it stopped being fun. it's a sort of thing i've been feeling creeping in for years, with each anniversary covering being bigger and more tedious than the last because i couldn't help but feel like i had to keep growing to keep up with the community. for the most part, i could always press through because i had the momentum and there was some amount of fun to be had in seeing it all come together, but with the sudden break in my workflow for this year, i think it was kind of impossible to come back—not when i'd had a chance to actually focus on enjoying myself with short term projects during my recovery
i'm still holding out hope i might be able to pull things together for some anniversary in the future (i mean, i've put in a lot of work so far ! ! !) but i definitely think it's something i need to let myself naturally come back to instead of pushing and pushing and forcing myself to work on it when i'd rather be doing something else w i'm realizing i just work best when i feel like no one's waiting or looking, and i'm starting to come to terms with that w
beyond that, i'm still working on UTAU development ! ! ! i know it's been quiet here, but i've been recording me, recording friends, .oto'ing so much i feel like my eyes are going to roll out of my head, and dreaming up what it'll be like once they're all finally done w they're nice long-term projects that i can (for the most part) safely pick up and put away without feeling overwhelmed by the mess when i get back, and it feels nice getting to decide my own deadlines (if any) rather than locking myself in a constant cycle of working on anniversary after anniversary w
it sucks having the 'brain refuses to focus long-term' disease and the resulting 'has nothing to show because all that work is spread across many little things that will be completed much slower than if they were worked on wholesale' syndrome but ! ! ! ! i'm making the most of it w
in any event, i hope y'all are having a good year so far ! ! ! and i hope you're taking time to find what you enjoy (or reconnect with what you already enjoy in a healthier, more healing way) w
mio out ! ! ! ! ! ! !
2 years ago | [YT] | 377