Me: “Alright Clan Clan, alright Torchy, I’m going to tell you two a bedtime story now. Which one do you want to hear?”
Clancy: “I want to hear the one about the Bottomless Proctologist!”
Me: “Uh… I think you might be a little young for that one. What about you Torchy?”
Torchy: “I’m not ready to go to bed… can I sip some Caprisun like it’s Dom Pérignon?”
Clancy: “Oh, me too! I haven’t had a drop all day!”
Me: “Fine, but just a little bit.”
*Walks to the kitchen to get the Caprisun and grabs them*
Me: “I hope that this can satiate their cravings”
*Returns, Clancy is on fire, and Torchy is bouncing on the bed, trying to set a painting of a vulture on fire with his Torch*
Me: “Torchy, what did you do?!?”
*Puts the fire out and takes away Torchy’s torch*
Me: “Torchy, go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done, and come apologize to Clancy when you’ve finished!”
*He goes and sits in the corner, then he comes back after 5 minutes*
Torchy: “Hello… we haven’t talked in quite some time… I know I haven’t been the best of friends… Hello I have set you ablaze many times, ‘cause I… I feel as if I’m shown… denial… I feel as if I’m shown… denial… I feel like I’m denied… I feel like I’m denied… attention… ATEEENNNTIOOON!”
Clancy: “Whatever, I just fly by the dangerous fires.”
Me: “That’s what the problem is? You just feel like you don’t get enough attention? I’m truly sorry you feel that way, we do care about you and love you very deeply. I’ll tell you what, what if I were to get you something to make up for the way you’ve been feeling?”
Torchy: “A new torch! 😁”
Me: “Maybe one day, but for now, what if I gave you… a drum set!”
Torchy: “Awesome! I can’t wait to make some fire beats!”
Me: “I hope you don’t mean that literally. Well, I hope you’re ready for bed now. Goodnight!”
*Turns off light and walks out. As I walk away, a loud banging comes from their room*
Me: “Well, that was a lapse of judgment to give them to him tonight 🥴”
GoldGoomba
@pennyloafersqueek I might have found the solution…
Me: “Alright Clan Clan, alright Torchy, I’m going to tell you two a bedtime story now. Which one do you want to hear?”
Clancy: “I want to hear the one about the Bottomless Proctologist!”
Me: “Uh… I think you might be a little young for that one. What about you Torchy?”
Torchy: “I’m not ready to go to bed… can I sip some Caprisun like it’s Dom Pérignon?”
Clancy: “Oh, me too! I haven’t had a drop all day!”
Me: “Fine, but just a little bit.”
*Walks to the kitchen to get the Caprisun and grabs them*
Me: “I hope that this can satiate their cravings”
*Returns, Clancy is on fire, and Torchy is bouncing on the bed, trying to set a painting of a vulture on fire with his Torch*
Me: “Torchy, what did you do?!?”
*Puts the fire out and takes away Torchy’s torch*
Me: “Torchy, go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done, and come apologize to Clancy when you’ve finished!”
*He goes and sits in the corner, then he comes back after 5 minutes*
Torchy: “Hello… we haven’t talked in quite some time… I know I haven’t been the best of friends… Hello I have set you ablaze many times, ‘cause I… I feel as if I’m shown… denial… I feel as if I’m shown… denial… I feel like I’m denied… I feel like I’m denied… attention… ATEEENNNTIOOON!”
Clancy: “Whatever, I just fly by the dangerous fires.”
Me: “That’s what the problem is? You just feel like you don’t get enough attention? I’m truly sorry you feel that way, we do care about you and love you very deeply. I’ll tell you what, what if I were to get you something to make up for the way you’ve been feeling?”
Torchy: “A new torch! 😁”
Me: “Maybe one day, but for now, what if I gave you… a drum set!”
Torchy: “Awesome! I can’t wait to make some fire beats!”
Me: “I hope you don’t mean that literally. Well, I hope you’re ready for bed now. Goodnight!”
*Turns off light and walks out. As I walk away, a loud banging comes from their room*
Me: “Well, that was a lapse of judgment to give them to him tonight 🥴”
Wow, this turned out very long lol
1 year ago (edited) | [YT] | 8