Just a reminder that travel doesn’t automatically make you a better person. So if you’re not into it, can’t afford it, or are physically precluded from it—don’t be shamed into thinking you’re a second-class citizen. Read about the places, speak to others who have been there, look at art created by that place’s people. You’ll still gain cultural appreciation and insight.
4 days ago | 502
i’m not sleeping at your house if you don’t have a guest bedroom. it’s okay if you don’t have one but don’t get mad at me for booking a room. i’m old, my body hurts & i need a mattress.
4 days ago | 397
Yes, absolutely. I've been called bougie all my life (despite being a pretty thrifty person). I don't do last-minute invites because you're usually someone's B-team friend that they're just inviting out because their primary plans fell through. You're their afterthought. Also, I don't eat at crappy chain restaurants that just microwave food. If I'm spending money to eat out, I want my money to go to someone's dream. Also, I buy high quality things. What people usually don't see is that I either A) waited years to afford it, B) thrifted it, or C) made it with my own two hands. Don't waste your life on low standards.
4 days ago | 164
I think it's important to know that people have different preferences and that's okay. If someone texts me asking to go out and do something last minute, I'd totally be excited and up for it if I was free. I like it when people do that. I actually enjoy it more believe it or not. Other people need time to plan ahead. My partner needs at least a week's notice before planning anything social (I go without them if it's last minute though they're always invited). If I ask you something last minute and that's not something you ever want then just tell me. Other people have busy lives and legitimately are never free unless you schedule ahead. I'm not going to be offended if you say "no" or tell me you need advanced notice. It's genuinely hard to know these things unless you talk about them first. You shouldn't feel pressured to go on something you don't want to and it's totally alright if you have different needs. I'm really tired of people acting like we're all the same. That first blurb makes it sound like nobody will ever want that. Obviously some people do or no one would ask.
4 days ago | 138
THANK YOU FOR NUMBER FOUR! I have autism and value feeling safe, comfortable, and having a good space to recharge over having "an adventure" and "living while I'm young" but have felt so fomo for not traveling as much as some folks (also that pizza in #3 looks scrummy as)
4 days ago | 80
As someone with chronic fatigue syndrome, last minute plans are my go to since I can’t plan in advance when I’ll feel good enough to do something. Let’s just keep that in mind for us disabled folks 🤗
2 days ago | 6
Honestly, I like coffee dates. Especially as a first or first couple of dates. These dates are usually relatively short, don't cost a lot and are in my opinion a bit more relaxed and low pressure.
4 days ago | 97
"if they're texting last minute for a date" yeah uh... If they EXPECT you to say yes that's bad, but like, it's entirely possible they just had something free up and wanted to see if you were available?
4 days ago | 25
It always makes me laugh that the shortname for "bourgeois" in English is "bougie". Which means "candle" in French 🕯
4 days ago | 58
Yes about the traveling. I love to travel, within the states and out. I haven't been overseas yet because I know due to health issues I require more leg room when it comes to flying and that's expensive. Your be surprised how some ppl turn their noses to that. I know the experience I want and won't sacrifice to keep up with anyone. Love this!
4 days ago | 13
My dad called me high maintenance one time for asking for a to go cup Did this with pretty much all women and wonders why most hate him
4 days ago | 29
Thank you for the travel one. I'm tired of people bitching about how everyone should just go backpacking. Not everyone has the health for it.
4 days ago | 14
I generally would agree but I'm curious about what the problem is with someone wanting to make last minute plans? I know it implies that you have lots of free time or that you'll cancel things to see them, but is there not some joy to be had in spontaneity? Granted I may be biased as most of my friends live further afield so usually it does require planning ahead to hang out but I actively kinda want to make more local friends so that i know more people who might randomly check to see if I'm free for coffee. Fair if the person ONLY hangs out with you this way, cause that does sort of give you the vibe that you're a last resort if other plans got cancelled, but is wanting to make last minute plans generally considered disrespectful?
4 days ago | 13
I wanted to spend some days near Lake Erie this summer. But I canceled my reservations after reading more reviews about the motel I booked. I knew I was not going to enjoy myself. I ended up just doing things around Pittsburgh where I live during my PTO and renting a pool. Thank you for validating my decision
2 days ago (edited) | 3
Hang on, weren't you guys those saying, a few months back, that with this "strict boundaries setting" mentality we have now, we will all end up with perfect boundaries and no friends? If someone calls me last minute because they want to chat with me over a coffee, I am of course free to say no, if I don't have the time. But I really don't understand why that is considered to be crossing a line.
4 days ago | 34
Holy shit, thank you for #5. I just had a friend end our friendship because I dared to express that I was hurt that they wouldn’t invest any time or energy whatsoever into our friendship. Like if that’s asking too much, maybe you’re the problem.
4 days ago | 6
Thought this was about finances, not making yourself the main character in basic friendships. Saying no to a coffee date to save, cool. Saying no because it’s last minute and “not in your plans?” Who are you? Clearly not a real friends
2 days ago | 1
Bro, people be treating their friends like they expect them to propose or something
4 days ago | 11
I don't really see the problem with the coffee one. I mean, is it so bad for a date to just want to spend time with you? Going for coffee last minute isn't a super high effort date, but does it have to be? I mean, I don't think that's not respecting your time. If you don't want to, just say no. I mean, is it so wrong to want to hang out when you find you have a free evening? If anything low effort dates are less pressure to accept, right? Since effort hasn't been wasted.
4 days ago | 3
The Financial Diet
✨ If you've been called "bougie", "high-maintenance", or "asking for too much"...this one's for you girlie. <3
5 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 3,731