When he died I lost my best friend. Granted a best friend found in Chaos but one nevertheless. He was the first man since my father left that wanted to truly protect and love my kids and I. He was an incredible father to Abbigail , he invested in my boys. But addiction was never far away , creeping around our hearts like a snake on the prowl for its next victim.
Pre-existing addiction stole from us , combined with the type of trauma that had already claimed his family members. All victims of historical child abuse that ricocheted through the generations in his family like a cluster bomb.
A true trauma bond , we had an unspoken understanding of each others darkness , the road to hell took a while to navigate. But the night he died ? When he walked into a park at night and decided that is where he would die ? The gates of hell were opened and the road ahead was clear….you either get better or choose the way you want to die.
The choice was simple , claiming back my life from two families entrenched in serious mental health issues and sexual abuse not so much.
My son will be 14 in May. Publicly I’m stilled blamed for his death. Privately for the last 14 years a whole families guilt and shame almost deleted me.
When my partners abuser came for my son at 9 years old ? I did what any mother would do , my boy will not end his beautiful existence because of these evil humans. He will live 10 lives …100 lives before his light is transmuted ….
Trauma , abuse , violence , hate , greed and shame is why we experienced years of a campaign to delete us. We threaten there existence. Truth is what they fear …not me.
Conversations at home 🫶🏻
🫂❤️🕊️
When he died I lost my best friend. Granted a best friend found in Chaos but one nevertheless. He was the first man since my father left that wanted to truly protect and love my kids and I. He was an incredible father to Abbigail , he invested in my boys. But addiction was never far away , creeping around our hearts like a snake on the prowl for its next victim.
Pre-existing addiction stole from us , combined with the type of trauma that had already claimed his family members. All victims of historical child abuse that ricocheted through the generations in his family like a cluster bomb.
A true trauma bond , we had an unspoken understanding of each others darkness , the road to hell took a while to navigate. But the night he died ? When he walked into a park at night and decided that is where he would die ? The gates of hell were opened and the road ahead was clear….you either get better or choose the way you want to die.
The choice was simple , claiming back my life from two families entrenched in serious mental health issues and sexual abuse not so much.
My son will be 14 in May. Publicly I’m stilled blamed for his death. Privately for the last 14 years a whole families guilt and shame almost deleted me.
When my partners abuser came for my son at 9 years old ? I did what any mother would do , my boy will not end his beautiful existence because of these evil humans. He will live 10 lives …100 lives before his light is transmuted ….
Trauma , abuse , violence , hate , greed and shame is why we experienced years of a campaign to delete us. We threaten there existence. Truth is what they fear …not me.
1 day ago (edited) | [YT] | 1