Illustrations by Francois Gautier (from Dark Art coloring book) You may have to zoom in for more detail.
What being newly aware of NPD for only a few months feels like to me.
First image, the chaos, anger, rage, "splitting".
Second image, still being easily triggered, overly sensitive, feeling "attacked", etc. (Must be right all the time, still argue, still controlling)
Third image, the tower is always falling. I must save the tower at all costs. I must keep it from crumbling. I must keep the false self (mask) in place. Or I will lose whatever "image" I had. Low self esteem, self loathing. Self deletion thoughts. What's one less NPD person ? If we cause so much damage, no one will miss us, etc. No need for my existence. (Not doing that; just dark thoughts sometimes)
Fourth image, trying to build a new mask, new image, still strong, powerful, smart, clever, nothing gets past my armor, etc. But the helmet is covering a skeleton. Still dead inside. Still a void. Was I better off before I became self aware? Was ignorance, bliss? Not sure yet. Will take time to figure out. With lots of therapy, I imagine.
Just found these images very fitting for what some folks with all these issues may feel. I'm a visual person. So sometimes a "visual" version of certain disorders helps me understand them better, or help me explain them to others. Especially since I have a weird combo going on in my head, and they "rotate" depending on the day.
Narcissistic Miss So
Illustrations by Francois Gautier (from Dark Art coloring book)
You may have to zoom in for more detail.
What being newly aware of NPD for only a few months feels like to me.
First image, the chaos, anger, rage, "splitting".
Second image, still being easily triggered, overly sensitive, feeling "attacked", etc. (Must be right all the time, still argue, still controlling)
Third image, the tower is always falling. I must save the tower at all costs. I must keep it from crumbling. I must keep the false self (mask) in place. Or I will lose whatever "image" I had. Low self esteem, self loathing. Self deletion thoughts. What's one less NPD person ? If we cause so much damage, no one will miss us, etc. No need for my existence. (Not doing that; just dark thoughts sometimes)
Fourth image, trying to build a new mask, new image, still strong, powerful, smart, clever, nothing gets past my armor, etc. But the helmet is covering a skeleton. Still dead inside. Still a void. Was I better off before I became self aware? Was ignorance, bliss? Not sure yet. Will take time to figure out. With lots of therapy, I imagine.
Just found these images very fitting for what some folks with all these issues may feel. I'm a visual person. So sometimes a "visual" version of certain disorders helps me understand them better, or help me explain them to others. Especially since I have a weird combo going on in my head, and they "rotate" depending on the day.
Thank you.
1 month ago | [YT] | 1