Hello friends! Thank you for your patience with me.
Most vulnerable post ever... I could never do this in a video 😂 I can feel my face flaming red already, just typing.
Life threw us some challenges near the end of 2023, and then I needed to prioritize caring for my family throughout the holidays.
I do want to clarify that the problem has resolved, and our family is healthy, and all is well!
I started this YouTube channel with the goal of consistency and commitment... And I've had to be careful not to beat myself up for not creating the videos I had hoped to in the past few months.
However.
I am not going to discontinue the channel because I had a few bad months. (This may seem like a no brainer, but I am the person who throws away journals because I wasn't consistent in them, or who rips out ALL the front pages of my planner because I feel ashamed that I didn't use it. Lol!) Is it over dramatic? Absolutely. Is it wise? Not at all. But for whatever reason, I often default to, "this isn't working like I thought; new plan!" So I just want to put it out there to all of you... Not this time. And even if I drop off the planet for a bit and hop back on, I will, because I'm deciding to invest here. This channel isn't going anywhere. There, I said it! Haha!
I will aim for consistency and excellence. But God and my family will always come first. They are my front burners. My doula business and YouTube channels are my side dishes, but I may need to move YouTube to a backburner from time to time.
I want to lay out a few realities. Not as an excuse. But as a context. Also recognizing that this is hardly a challenge compared to many other situations, and fully acknowledging that I am BLESSED. -I need to take my son out of the apartment with me to do laundry. -We have no washing machine for dishes. -I need to reserve childcare for doctor's appointments and births (when I am on call as a doula)
All of this makes it extremely difficult to find time to film and edit. Add to that my insecurities: -looks/voice (I mean who really LOVES seeing themselves in camera?! 😂) -clothing (I have a pretty minimal wardrobe, which I am happy with, but sometimes I wonder if it's weird in videos.) -lighting (the way our apartment is set up is just really hard to find good lighting) -video/audio/editing quality. I don't have the best equipment (or skills 😂)
And most embarrassing to me as a homemaking channel: -our apartment itself. It is OLD. And we are not willing to invest financially into a place that is not ours. So there are awful things, like cracks in walls, baseboards that were painted right with the wall with clumpy paint. Tiles that no matter how hard I scrub or what products I use will always look dirty, because they are old. Etc. -I have decluttered, organized, gotten into awesome cleaning routines and I LOVE my home and feel like it works for me, not me working for it. ...But will it look that way on camera? Probably not.
All this to say. I'm going to be vulnerable from now on. The lighting may be bad. My home may be run down. And there might even be times when it looks like a mess. It certainly does not have that YouTuber aesthetic. But I have learned so much over the years that I want to share with you, and I am not going to allow my insecurities (real or perceived) to be the thing that keeps me from doing that.
This trial we went through in 2023 has refocused me for 2024. It made me reevaluate. What systems are working despite some upheaval? What systems need improvement? Where are the gaps in my homemaking? But more importantly, where are the gaps in my relationship with God? With my husband? With my son? How can I be the Christian, the wife, and the mother God has called me to be?
God has allowed me to use this experience to approach you all from a place of humility. Please don't ever hear me saying that you need to "get it all together, like me." Far from it. There are days we order pizza. There are days the place is a wreck. There are days we fight. There are days I feel so distant from God. And yet God has called us not to accept the "hot mess," but rather to depend on Him, and day by day be conformed into the person He is making us to be.
I looked over my notes for videos I have planned, and have been taking my own advice. It's actually been helpful! Thank God I wrote it all down before the metaphorical storm hit 😂 I am excited to share with you the things that have been on my heart and mind these last few months/weeks.
In this new year, I hope you will join me in the following: -Trusting God and becoming dependent on Him when times are hard. -Following what He asks us to do, no matter how simple or difficult. -Building meaningful relationships (prioritizing marriage, parenting, and friendships).
Being a homemaker is cultivating the environment in which you and your family have the ability to thrive in these goals.
Birthing Hope
Hello friends! Thank you for your patience with me.
Most vulnerable post ever... I could never do this in a video 😂 I can feel my face flaming red already, just typing.
Life threw us some challenges near the end of 2023, and then I needed to prioritize caring for my family throughout the holidays.
I do want to clarify that the problem has resolved, and our family is healthy, and all is well!
I started this YouTube channel with the goal of consistency and commitment... And I've had to be careful not to beat myself up for not creating the videos I had hoped to in the past few months.
However.
I am not going to discontinue the channel because I had a few bad months. (This may seem like a no brainer, but I am the person who throws away journals because I wasn't consistent in them, or who rips out ALL the front pages of my planner because I feel ashamed that I didn't use it. Lol!) Is it over dramatic? Absolutely. Is it wise? Not at all. But for whatever reason, I often default to, "this isn't working like I thought; new plan!" So I just want to put it out there to all of you... Not this time. And even if I drop off the planet for a bit and hop back on, I will, because I'm deciding to invest here. This channel isn't going anywhere. There, I said it! Haha!
I will aim for consistency and excellence. But God and my family will always come first. They are my front burners. My doula business and YouTube channels are my side dishes, but I may need to move YouTube to a backburner from time to time.
I want to lay out a few realities. Not as an excuse. But as a context. Also recognizing that this is hardly a challenge compared to many other situations, and fully acknowledging that I am BLESSED.
-I need to take my son out of the apartment with me to do laundry.
-We have no washing machine for dishes.
-I need to reserve childcare for doctor's appointments and births (when I am on call as a doula)
All of this makes it extremely difficult to find time to film and edit. Add to that my insecurities:
-looks/voice (I mean who really LOVES seeing themselves in camera?! 😂)
-clothing (I have a pretty minimal wardrobe, which I am happy with, but sometimes I wonder if it's weird in videos.)
-lighting (the way our apartment is set up is just really hard to find good lighting)
-video/audio/editing quality. I don't have the best equipment (or skills 😂)
And most embarrassing to me as a homemaking channel:
-our apartment itself. It is OLD. And we are not willing to invest financially into a place that is not ours. So there are awful things, like cracks in walls, baseboards that were painted right with the wall with clumpy paint. Tiles that no matter how hard I scrub or what products I use will always look dirty, because they are old. Etc.
-I have decluttered, organized, gotten into awesome cleaning routines and I LOVE my home and feel like it works for me, not me working for it.
...But will it look that way on camera? Probably not.
All this to say. I'm going to be vulnerable from now on. The lighting may be bad. My home may be run down. And there might even be times when it looks like a mess. It certainly does not have that YouTuber aesthetic. But I have learned so much over the years that I want to share with you, and I am not going to allow my insecurities (real or perceived) to be the thing that keeps me from doing that.
This trial we went through in 2023 has refocused me for 2024. It made me reevaluate. What systems are working despite some upheaval? What systems need improvement? Where are the gaps in my homemaking? But more importantly, where are the gaps in my relationship with God? With my husband? With my son? How can I be the Christian, the wife, and the mother God has called me to be?
God has allowed me to use this experience to approach you all from a place of humility. Please don't ever hear me saying that you need to "get it all together, like me." Far from it. There are days we order pizza. There are days the place is a wreck. There are days we fight. There are days I feel so distant from God. And yet God has called us not to accept the "hot mess," but rather to depend on Him, and day by day be conformed into the person He is making us to be.
I looked over my notes for videos I have planned, and have been taking my own advice. It's actually been helpful! Thank God I wrote it all down before the metaphorical storm hit 😂 I am excited to share with you the things that have been on my heart and mind these last few months/weeks.
In this new year, I hope you will join me in the following:
-Trusting God and becoming dependent on Him when times are hard.
-Following what He asks us to do, no matter how simple or difficult.
-Building meaningful relationships (prioritizing marriage, parenting, and friendships).
Being a homemaker is cultivating the environment in which you and your family have the ability to thrive in these goals.
So I'm excited to begin making videos again.
No fear. No shame. I am blessed.
Thank you for being here.
Let's keep our eyes on Jesus, friends :)
1 year ago | [YT] | 5