Open Casket Funerals are WILD 🤯 | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Montezuma was an Aztec superhero... Sorta... | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Lockdowns, Mandates... yeahhhhh we don't care anymore.. | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Pimp My Corpse coming to MTV soon | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Captain Gaffigan here! Please put your phone on airplane mode | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Did you know the Origin of the word Diarrhea? | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Overdressed at the open casket funeral... | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

They celebrate DEATH the best in Mexico | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

They're never gonna call you back... | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

We all know some people like this... | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Jim Gaffigan's idea for a Reality Tv show!! | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

I want to be sitting up at my funeral | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

How many Death jokes does this guy have?? | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

The longest plane crash in HISTORY | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

What's the best REVENGE...? | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME... | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

I want a SURPRISE FUNERAL | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

RIP Truth | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Asking a question is not yelling | Jim Gaffigan

Not once have I ever recognized a horse | Jim Gaffigan

The Holy Grail | Jim Gaffigan

Why do old people always look so surprised that they're still here? | Jim Gaffigan

What name do you provide at Starbucks? | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

Can I swim with you guys? | Jim Gaffigan

I have way too many doppelgangers | Jim Gaffigan

Having a landline is like sending smoke signals | Jim Gaffigan

Dia de la Muertos | JIm Gaffigan

Kitty wants some candy | Jim Gaffigan

My son's Halloween costume | Jim Gaffigan

Children's museums explained | Jim Gaffigan

What emoji do you think people are overusing? | Jim Gaffigan

I'm not a quitter | Jim Gaffigan

I don't remember Shakespeare writing this play | Jim Gaffigan

Kid's Friends | Jim Gaffigan

I love Canada | Jim Gaffigan

Things that aren't meant to be funny are always hilarious | Jim Gaffigan: Dark Pale

The value of a photo has changed | Jim Gaffigan

The Caga Tió in Catalonia - Nothing says Christmas like a pooping log! | Jim Gaffigan #spain

The story of Mary | Jim Gaffigan #christmas #jesus

Do you bring your own cup to #Starbucks? | Jim Gaffigan

Irish Dryers get no love | Jim Gaffigan

Santa's Belt is useless | Jim Gaffigan

The male contribution to life is embarrassing | Jim Gaffigan

I'm never doing #Christimas at Disney until the next time I do it. | Jim Gaffigan #disneyworld

Fitness Goals | Jim Gaffigan

A Christmas tree seems like a drunk people activity | Jim Gaffigan

Please tag your cycling friends | Jim Gaffigan

Here are the Flamenco jokes you didn't ask for. | Jim Gaffigan #flamenco

I"m a New Years resolution overachiever | Jim Gaffigan

Global Warming | Jim Gaffigan

Cross-country skiing | Jim Gaffigan

Ottawa has a poutine festival problem | Jim Gaffigan

What's the best way to honor God? | Jim Gaffigan

Remember when Moms actually looked like Moms? | Jim Gaffigan

There's nothing better than pretending you're having a good time | Jim Gaffigan

I know nothing about #cars | Jim Gaffigan

All skills are not created equal | Jim Gaffigan

Nursery School or Bars? | Jim Gaffigan

Twinkies are FDA approved but not herbal supplements. Let that sink in | Jim Gaffigan

Parents struggle so hard to create memories | Jim Gaffigan

Nobody thinks they are old. | Jim Gaffigan

The best surprise birthday party I ever went to. | Jim Gaffigan

TV vs. Reading | Jim Gaffigan

In all my childhood memories it was always winter. | Jim Gaffigan

When a dad can't find a mom | Jim Gaffigan

Are you ready for fried bread? | Jim Gaffigan

Looking Like A Tourist | Jim Gaffigan

Favorite exercise machine? | Jim Gaffigan

Pies vs. Cakes | Jim Gaffigan

We should be more like #dogs. | Jim Gaffigan #cats

I prefer the ground | Jim Gaffigan

Horse on plane | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Are you addicted to mayonnaise? | Jim Gaffigan

How many phone numbers do you know? | Jim Gaffigan

Rust belt pride! | Jim Gaffican #midwest

Valentine's Day traditions | Jim Gaffigan #shorts #vday

Canadian Airport Codes | Jim Gaffigan #canada

Eat Fresh! | Jim Gaffigan

Sunburnt Adults | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

You're never gonna guess what kind of soup it is. | Jim Gaffigan #japan

The only toiletry I wouldn't take is.... | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Sunday brunch + Oysters = Emergency room | Jim Gaffigan #brunch #shellfish

The perfect place to NOT raise your heart rate. | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

In 2019 I performed at my first rodeo, The San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo.

True story, it's in the Bible. | Jim Gaffigan #lent #easter

Try to explain appetizers to a starving person. | Jim Gaffigan

The most disappointing Transformer. | Jim Gaffigan

Standards drop on Saturdays. | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Can't wait to be back in San Antonio this month on my Southern Hostility bus tour. | Jim Gaffigan

I'm preparing to eat some southern cooking on my Southern Hostility bus tour

I'm not into wearing diapers | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Friend mixing explained | Jim Gaffigan

Why is it you never visit churches at home? | Jim Gaffigan

Trash de blanc | Jim Gaffigan

Saint Patrick | Jim Gaffigan

Who's Billy Joelle? | Jim Gaffigan #ireland

I'm touring through Gritsland | Jim Gaffigan

There’s never a right time to get a new phone | Jim Gaffigan

The reason Dads are always in a bad mood on vacation | Jim Gaffigan

Are you mad at me? | Jim Gaffigan

Good Friday | Jim Gaffigan

Easter | Jim Gaffigan

I'm just here to pull the levers. | Jim Gaffigan

I love Mexican food | Jim Gaffigan

Aaaand cut! | Jim Gaffigan

You ever see someone else's plate of food? | Jim Gaffigan

I've seen horses with better shoes than me | Jim Gaffigan

Making the bed doesn't make sense | Jim Gaffigan

Am I the only one that notices this at the gym?

The only time we listen to doctors is when we get sick

I wanna like grits, I really do. | Jim Gaffigan

Butter on the bread?! | Jim Gaffigan

Here's a thought. Maybe put your money to better use? | Jim Gaffigan

Some people feel bad for cows I feel bad for asparagus | Jim Gaffigan

Black is the beer goggles of colors | Jim Gaffigan

Taking off your pants seems like a good idea right? | Jim Gaffigan

Jamon = Ham | Jim Gaffigan

Uh, no. | Jim Gaffigan

There should be a warning sign when seeing a moose

Babies are a lot of work | Jim Gaffigan

I wonder how lonely those vegetables feel | Jim Gaffigan

Someone said I look better kinda dressed | Jim Gaffigan

What happens when I tell my friends that I go to Wisconsin for the winter | Jim Gaffigan

You know I tried every peanut butter there is | Jim Gaffigan

Why do you never see horses join the mob? | Jim Gaffigan

Spring is a con artist | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

The man that put the first lock on the bridge had to be insane, right?! | Jim Gaffigan

If we did this is real life we'd be in jail | Jim Gaffigan

My favorite activity | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Top 10 faces to make | Jim Gaffigan

I know who the happiest camper is. | Jim Gaffigan

Reality sets in | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Canadian Youth Hockey | Jim Gaffigan

Not the best medicine. | Jim Gaffigan

Can last names tell you something? | Jim Gaffigan

The cool thing about Florida is that every city has its own unique personality | Jim Gaffigan

That time I got my appendix removed. | Jim Gaffigan

Seafood is gross | Jim Gaffigan

I saw you on Animal Planet! | Jim Gaffigan

Coffee has way too many options now. | Jim Gaffigan

Generations of Fathers | Jim Gaffigan

Our Summer obsession | Jim Gaffigan

Bugs of the Ocean | Jim Gaffigan

I still find this to be a little odd. | Jim Gaffigan

My family knows exactly how to pick the perfect gifts | Jim Gaffigan

Just how much is it to live in a castle? | Jim Gaffigan

The name was in the name. | Jim Gaffigan

Welcome to a summer of disappointment | Jim Gaffigan #shorts

Bowling walk of shame | Jim Gaffigan

That time I went on a safari. | Jim Gaffigan

Whale dating must get awkward sometimes | Jim Gaffigan

Dads on vacation | Jim Gaffigan

There's never enough bartenders. | Jim Gaffigan

Holidays were meant for eating | Jim Gaffigan

It's an insult AND a food. | Jim Gaffigan

ENT doctors must look at dentists and think.... | Jim Gaffigan

Grandparents At Disneyland | Jim Gaffigan

Now what am I gonna do? | Jim Gaffigan

True crime always starts out perfectly | Jim Gaffigan

Expats in Asia | Jim Gaffigan

Babies that look like me | Jim Gaffigan

Not like they're doing brain surgery | Jim Gaffigan

Pool Fishing | Jim Gaffigan

There was a time people found this entertaining | Jim Gaffigan

In a family of steps, moving sidewalks are the step kids | Jim Gaffigan

It's the Fair, just throw everything in the fryer. | Jim Gaffigan

Summer as a pale person is rough | Jim Gaffigan

The Olympics are here so I guess it's time to relearn the Metric system! | Jim Gaffigan

Ever notice this about bikers? | Jim Gaffigan

The Japanese literally make everything better. | Jim Gaffigan

Churros in Spain | Jim Gaffigan

Cleveland, would you consider a name change to this sandwich? | Jim Gaffigan

We've heard about global warming - kind of? | Jim Gaffigan

I didn't know my feelings tasted so good | Jim Gaffigan

One sip of this and you're ready for the club! | Jim Gaffigan

I'm gonna need a day. | Jim Gaffigan

I guess I'll give my grammar skills a shot | Jim Gaffigan

Water parks are fun, until they're not. | Jim Gaffigan

Snooze Bar - destroyer of plans. | Jim Gaffigan

It's good medicine | Jim Gaffigan

Who doesn't love a donut? | Jim Gaffigan

How did we even think about making cheese from a Goat? | Jim Gaffigan

I didn't know open door meant wet bed. | Jim Gaffigan

It's always Red Velvet | Jim Gaffigan

I'd rather have the coat than the boat. | Jim Gaffigan

Every Husband needs this app | Jim Gaffigan

It's been a tasty career. | Jim Gaffigan

Fighting solves nothing, except when you're good at it | Jim Gaffigan

A1 steak sauce is my go to. | Jim Gaffigan

Tomato Fights | Jim Gaffigan

Presidents have come a long way in the looks department. | Jim Gaffigan

Shampoo and conditioner should NOT be together. | Jim Gaffigan

Las Vegas is just different | Jim Gaffigan

If I have to do this, so do you | Jim Gaffigan

I did the Hot Pocket joke for years. Here's a clip from an extended cut on my new album THE PRISONER

God would understand.| Jim Gaffigan

This may be the strangest office ever. | Jim Gaffigan

The fancier it is the less I want it. | Jim Gaffigan

Tapas are basically Spanish sushi. | Jim Gaffigan

We've all had that one Uber ride. | Jim Gaffigan