Divonne is the theatre diva who only wants to be the lead in a NYC show, but she never gets any good roles. Sheet music available for purchase: greenroomthemusical.com/shop/ Lyrics: THE BIG SOUND OF MUSIC AUDITIONS HAD COME, I SANG BOTH MY SONGS, HAD THEM UNDER MY THUMB, I TOLD THEM I HAD MY HEART SET ON MARIA, IF I GOT THE BARONESS, I MIGHT SAY, "SEE 'YA" SOON UP WENT THE LIST ON THE CALL BOARD UPSTAIRS, I LOOKED FOR MY NAME, AND I SAW IT RIGHT THERE, IT SAID NUN #7. (Spoken) Nun number 7! (Sung) I WENT TO THE LIBRARY, STUDIED THE SCORE, I FOUND MY THREE LINES, COULDNT FIND ANY MORE THEN I REALIZED THE NAZI'S BLACK CAR REPRESENTS THE WHOLE THEME OF DECEIT, THEN THE STORY GETS TENSE, THAT CAR IS WHAT THEY MUST DRIVE OFF IN THE END, AND THIS IS SIGNIFICANT, NO ONE BEFRIENDS THEM, THE JOKE'S ON THE NAZIS, THE NUNS ARE ALL LIARS, AND I PLAY THE NUN WHO STEALS THE DISTRIBUTOR WIRES, SO WHO'S THIS MARIA, STAND BACK, MISS MARIA! WHAT'S THAT! WHO'S SHE! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. IN FALL I GOT BRAVE AND AUDITIONED AGAIN FOR A STAGE ADAPTATION OF GONE WITH THE WIND I TOLD THEM HOW NATURALLY SOUTHERN I AM THEY SAID, "MY DEAR, FRANKLY, WE DON'T GIVE A DAMN, BUT WE DO NEED A GIRL TO WEAR BLACKFACE AND PLAY IN A WALK-ON AS SCARLET'S YOUNG MIDWIFE AND SLAVE AND HELP BIRTHING HER BABIES." (Spoken) I dont know nothin bout birthin no babies! WELL, MAD AS I WAS, I PERUSED THROUGH THE SCRIPT, I WAS THINKING THAT, ONCE AGAIN, I HAD BEEN GYPED, THEN I REALIZED ONE THING THAT I HADN'T BEFORE, THEIR CHILD WAS SYMBOLIC OF THE WHOLE CIVIL WAR, HER BIRTH WAS THE BIRTH OF THE SOUTHERN PLANTATION, AND WHEN SHE FALLS OFF HIS HORSE, SO DOES THE NATION, THAT KID WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN IF THEY DIDN'T HAVE ME. SO WHO'S MISS O'HARA, WHO CARES ABOUT TERA, WHAT'S THAT! WHO'S SHE! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. (Texan accent) WHEN WE DID THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN TEXAS, TELL ME WHY DID THE AUDIENCE ROAR, NOW BE ANALYTICAL, MY PART WAS CRITICAL, WHAT'S A WHOREHOUSE WITH NO WHORES? I WORE PANTS IN OUR TOWN AND PLAYED THE TOWN DRUNK, WITHOUT ME THAT BORING OLD PLAY WOULD HAVE STUNK, IN JOAN OF ARC, I SERVED THAT GIRL CIDAR, I WASN'T CRYING WHEN MY BOYS FRENCH FRIED HER! I TRIED OUT FOR MOUSETRAP, THEY MADE ME THE MOUSE, IN WIZARD OF OZ, I PLAYED DOROTHY'S OLD HOUSE, BUT WHAT IF I HADN'T BEEN THERE TO KILL THAT FRICKING WITCH. SO WHOS LITTLE DOROTHY, KISS THIS, LITTLE DOROTHY, WHAT'S THAT! WHO'S SHE! IT'S ALL ABOUT ME IT'S ALL ABOUT ME IT'S ALL ABOUT ME.