A recent online video targets a transgender woman who is bravely protesting for her rights. Instead of engaging with her message, the creator reduces her to a disgusting, dehumanising insult. This isn't "comedy." This isn't "free speech." This is targeted harassment.
Let's be absolutely clear: you do not get to call a fellow human being a slur just because you don't find them attractive. A person's appearance does not determine their worth, and your lack of attraction does not give you a license to disrespect. Behind every protest is a human being fighting for dignity, safety, and equality. The transgender community in India and around the world faces violence and discrimination daily. Words like these are not harmless jokes—they are the fuel for that fire. Disagree with someone's politics if you must, but the moment you attack their identity with gendered and transphobic slurs, you have lost the argument, and you have lost your humanity. Everybody deserves respect. Period.
It's time to drown out hate with a voice that's louder and prouder.
Healing from Heartbreak: How to Stop Chasing Fantasies and Start Loving Yourself
Hello, dearest reader! Welcome to what must be your 94th Google search on “how to get over a breakup” or “how to heal your shattered heart.” Don’t worry; this article is here to sprinkle some wisdom and maybe a few laughs into your heartbreak saga.
Let’s start like every other blog on this subject: Are you going through a breakup? Did you end things and now feel like you’re starring in a tragic indie film that only you want to watch? Well, fear not! This article promises to help you move on (okay, not totally true, but we’ll definitely make a dent!).
Story Time
Picture this: Young me, tragically optimistic, falling head over heels for a guy who I was sure had been handcrafted by the gods just for me. He was the one. Spoiler alert: He wasn’t. (Also, I was convinced like this about six other people before him, so clearly, I wasn’t the best judge.)
As you might have guessed, things didn’t end well. In fact, our relationship was more of a chaotic mess than a romantic comedy—a disaster that rivaled the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire (Google it, trust me, it’s a mess). I broke it off, but my brain? Oh, my brain was like, “But what if you two eat ice cream together and everything’s magical?”
This was me: Reality: We’re broken up. Brain: But... ice cream dates?
The Problem
Here’s what I realized after a lot of crying, journaling, and binge-watching Gilmore Girls: Most of the relationship wasn’t real—it was in my head. I wasn’t in love with him; I was in love with the version of him I had made up. My brain had been busy creating this Pinterest-worthy relationship where we were holding hands, staring at sunsets, and solving climate change together.
Basically, I wasn’t dating him—I was dating the romantic drama I’d invented. And if you’re still stuck on your ex, there’s a 98.9% chance you’re doing the same thing. It’s not love; it’s a dopamine-fueled lie your brain told you to make the chaos feel cozy.
But why does this happen? Simple: It’s because you needed something—love, affection, maybe someone to eat fries with at midnight—and instead of getting it, you went, “Oh well, I’ll just imagine it!” Your brain, trying to help, said, “Here’s a cute little fantasy to keep you going.” But the fantasy wasn’t real, and now, even after the breakup, you’re stuck chasing something that never existed.
The Solution
So, how do we fix this mess?
Step 1: Realize What You Need
Your brain isn’t evil; it just wanted you to feel safe, loved, and like someone might actually share their fries with you. So, do this: Ask yourself, “What do I actually need?”
Love? Affection? Chocolate? A kitten that doesn’t judge you? Whatever it is, give it to yourself. You don’t need someone else to fulfill those needs—you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself. Want flowers? Buy them. Want hugs? Hug a pillow. Want someone to text you goodnight? Uh... text yourself (it’s not weird, I swear).
Step 2: Catch Yourself Daydreaming
Ah, daydreams—the brain’s favorite escape room. If you catch yourself imagining your ex holding your hand or recreating that fake beach vacation you two never went on, pause and ask:
Why do I want this?
What’s the feeling behind it?
Why does holding hands make me feel safe?
Now, here’s the kicker: Give yourself that feeling. Hold your own hand if you have to. (Yes, it feels silly. No, I don’t care.) Remind yourself that you’re not a side character waiting for a love interest to swoop in. You’re the main character, babe. You hold your own hand, and it’s fabulous.
Step 3: Laugh at the Absurdity of It All
Honestly, breakups are ridiculous when you think about it. You’re crying over someone who probably leaves wet towels on the bed and doesn’t know how to spell “definitely.” The audacity!
Conclusion
Breakups suck, but they don’t have to ruin you. If you’re willing to face the truth (and laugh at it), you’ll see that most of what you’re holding on to is a fantasy your brain made up. So let it go, give yourself what you need, and start building a life that feels so good, your brain won’t even need fake scenarios anymore.
And hey, if you’ve ever caught yourself daydreaming about an ex, drop a comment below. Let’s swap embarrassing stories and heal together, one laugh at a time.
Hey guys, I came across Savanna Stone Faith. And it's safe to say I have opinions. Aaaaa lot of opinions! I will post a new video on Sunday! Don't forget to check it out! Byeeeeeeee
1. Social Learning Theory & Media Scripts (Bandura)
Children don’t just passively watch media—they extract behavioural scripts. Bandura’s work demonstrated that children imitate modelled behaviour, especially when the model is rewarded. The classic Disney formula: the princess is kind, beautiful, and patient. The prince is choosing her reward. Her story ends there. The implicit script:
“Your virtues prepare you to be selected. Selection is the happy ending. Without it, the story isn’t over—it just didn’t happen.”
A young girl learns that existence without male selection is a plot without a resolution. Irrelevance is narrative death.
---
2. Cultivation Theory (Gerbner)
Heavy media consumption doesn't just implant a single idea—it cultivates a worldview. Gerbner found that people who watch lots of TV begin to see the real world through the lens of TV’s distorted reality. For a girl growing up in a media ecosystem where women’s stories orbit male centrality, she cultivates a baseline assumption:
“Men are the sun. I am a planet. My light is reflected.”
Even films with female leads often frame their arc in relation to a male counterpart. The Bechdel Test exists because this is so pervasive. The wound isn’t just one movie—it’s the consistent reinforcement of a single cosmology.
---
3. The Male Gaze as Default Camera (Mulvey & Internalisation)
Laura Mulvey’s “male gaze” theory argues that film often positions the viewer as a heterosexual male. The woman is the passive object to be looked at, not the active subject with her own vision. Over time, women watching internalise that gaze. They learn to see themselves from outside—“How do I appear to him?” becomes more automatic than “What do I see?”
This is where the Pick Me script becomes self-surveillance. The girl becomes her own casting director, constantly auditioning for the role of “chosen one.”
---
4. Narrative Identity & the “Chosen” Trope
Psychologist Dan McAdams says we build our identities through story—we are the narrators of our own lives. If the only culturally available master narrative for female worth is “she was chosen by someone who matters (a man),” then a girl tries to shoehorn her life into that plot. This is why the “invisible” feeling you named is so acute: to not be chosen isn’t just loneliness—it’s narrative failure. You’re not just unloved; you’re a story nobody is telling.
---
5. The Wound You Named: Conditional Existence
This hits object-relations territory. Psychologically, a child needs to feel she matters simply because she exists—what Winnicott called the experience of “being” rather than “doing for.” But a media diet that says you are a side character until selected teaches the opposite: you must perform for a male protagonist to earn a spot in the frame. Love becomes proof of existence.
And as you so beautifully put it: it’s a fault in our star—a singular, central star (the male hero) around which all women must orbit, or drift into the dark. You’ve even repurposed the phrase to show how the star isn’t destiny—it’s a narrative flaw. That’s a powerful reframe.
---
Where This Leaves Us (and You)
This isn't just Disney’s fault. It’s centuries of storytelling, but the mass-media amplification makes it childhood infrastructure. The good news—psychologically speaking—is that once you name the script, you can write back. The wound heals when a woman learns to be the protagonist of her own gaze, not the object of someone else’s.
Hi everyone, welcome to my new YouTube Community. Now you can post on my channel too. To get started, tell me in a post what you'd like to see next on my channel. Visit my Community: youtube.com/@l_am_Es/community
Es
Louder for the people sitting at the back đź’‹
1 month ago | [YT] | 0
View 0 replies
Es
A recent online video targets a transgender woman who is bravely protesting for her rights. Instead of engaging with her message, the creator reduces her to a disgusting, dehumanising insult. This isn't "comedy." This isn't "free speech." This is targeted harassment.
Let's be absolutely clear: you do not get to call a fellow human being a slur just because you don't find them attractive. A person's appearance does not determine their worth, and your lack of attraction does not give you a license to disrespect. Behind every protest is a human being fighting for dignity, safety, and equality. The transgender community in India and around the world faces violence and discrimination daily. Words like these are not harmless jokes—they are the fuel for that fire. Disagree with someone's politics if you must, but the moment you attack their identity with gendered and transphobic slurs, you have lost the argument, and you have lost your humanity. Everybody deserves respect. Period.
It's time to drown out hate with a voice that's louder and prouder.
https://youtu.be/i9n85SW8a7A?si=i7wZq...
1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 3
View 1 reply
Es
Just a reminder....
1 month ago | [YT] | 1
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Es
Healing from Heartbreak: How to Stop Chasing Fantasies and Start Loving Yourself
Hello, dearest reader! Welcome to what must be your 94th Google search on “how to get over a breakup” or “how to heal your shattered heart.” Don’t worry; this article is here to sprinkle some wisdom and maybe a few laughs into your heartbreak saga.
Let’s start like every other blog on this subject:
Are you going through a breakup? Did you end things and now feel like you’re starring in a tragic indie film that only you want to watch? Well, fear not! This article promises to help you move on (okay, not totally true, but we’ll definitely make a dent!).
Story Time
Picture this: Young me, tragically optimistic, falling head over heels for a guy who I was sure had been handcrafted by the gods just for me. He was the one. Spoiler alert: He wasn’t. (Also, I was convinced like this about six other people before him, so clearly, I wasn’t the best judge.)
As you might have guessed, things didn’t end well. In fact, our relationship was more of a chaotic mess than a romantic comedy—a disaster that rivaled the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire (Google it, trust me, it’s a mess). I broke it off, but my brain? Oh, my brain was like, “But what if you two eat ice cream together and everything’s magical?”
This was me:
Reality: We’re broken up.
Brain: But... ice cream dates?
The Problem
Here’s what I realized after a lot of crying, journaling, and binge-watching Gilmore Girls: Most of the relationship wasn’t real—it was in my head. I wasn’t in love with him; I was in love with the version of him I had made up. My brain had been busy creating this Pinterest-worthy relationship where we were holding hands, staring at sunsets, and solving climate change together.
Basically, I wasn’t dating him—I was dating the romantic drama I’d invented. And if you’re still stuck on your ex, there’s a 98.9% chance you’re doing the same thing. It’s not love; it’s a dopamine-fueled lie your brain told you to make the chaos feel cozy.
But why does this happen? Simple: It’s because you needed something—love, affection, maybe someone to eat fries with at midnight—and instead of getting it, you went, “Oh well, I’ll just imagine it!” Your brain, trying to help, said, “Here’s a cute little fantasy to keep you going.” But the fantasy wasn’t real, and now, even after the breakup, you’re stuck chasing something that never existed.
The Solution
So, how do we fix this mess?
Step 1: Realize What You Need
Your brain isn’t evil; it just wanted you to feel safe, loved, and like someone might actually share their fries with you. So, do this: Ask yourself, “What do I actually need?”
Love? Affection? Chocolate? A kitten that doesn’t judge you? Whatever it is, give it to yourself. You don’t need someone else to fulfill those needs—you’re perfectly capable of doing it yourself. Want flowers? Buy them. Want hugs? Hug a pillow. Want someone to text you goodnight? Uh... text yourself (it’s not weird, I swear).
Step 2: Catch Yourself Daydreaming
Ah, daydreams—the brain’s favorite escape room. If you catch yourself imagining your ex holding your hand or recreating that fake beach vacation you two never went on, pause and ask:
Why do I want this?
What’s the feeling behind it?
Why does holding hands make me feel safe?
Now, here’s the kicker: Give yourself that feeling. Hold your own hand if you have to. (Yes, it feels silly. No, I don’t care.) Remind yourself that you’re not a side character waiting for a love interest to swoop in. You’re the main character, babe. You hold your own hand, and it’s fabulous.
Step 3: Laugh at the Absurdity of It All
Honestly, breakups are ridiculous when you think about it. You’re crying over someone who probably leaves wet towels on the bed and doesn’t know how to spell “definitely.” The audacity!
Conclusion
Breakups suck, but they don’t have to ruin you. If you’re willing to face the truth (and laugh at it), you’ll see that most of what you’re holding on to is a fantasy your brain made up. So let it go, give yourself what you need, and start building a life that feels so good, your brain won’t even need fake scenarios anymore.
And hey, if you’ve ever caught yourself daydreaming about an ex, drop a comment below. Let’s swap embarrassing stories and heal together, one laugh at a time.
1 month ago | [YT] | 7
View 0 replies
Es
Hey guys, I came across Savanna Stone Faith. And it's safe to say I have opinions. Aaaaa lot of opinions! I will post a new video on Sunday! Don't forget to check it out! Byeeeeeeee
1 month ago | [YT] | 3
View 0 replies
Es
1. Social Learning Theory & Media Scripts (Bandura)
Children don’t just passively watch media—they extract behavioural scripts. Bandura’s work demonstrated that children imitate modelled behaviour, especially when the model is rewarded. The classic Disney formula: the princess is kind, beautiful, and patient. The prince is choosing her reward. Her story ends there. The implicit script:
“Your virtues prepare you to be selected. Selection is the happy ending. Without it, the story isn’t over—it just didn’t happen.”
A young girl learns that existence without male selection is a plot without a resolution. Irrelevance is narrative death.
---
2. Cultivation Theory (Gerbner)
Heavy media consumption doesn't just implant a single idea—it cultivates a worldview. Gerbner found that people who watch lots of TV begin to see the real world through the lens of TV’s distorted reality. For a girl growing up in a media ecosystem where women’s stories orbit male centrality, she cultivates a baseline assumption:
“Men are the sun. I am a planet. My light is reflected.”
Even films with female leads often frame their arc in relation to a male counterpart. The Bechdel Test exists because this is so pervasive. The wound isn’t just one movie—it’s the consistent reinforcement of a single cosmology.
---
3. The Male Gaze as Default Camera (Mulvey & Internalisation)
Laura Mulvey’s “male gaze” theory argues that film often positions the viewer as a heterosexual male. The woman is the passive object to be looked at, not the active subject with her own vision. Over time, women watching internalise that gaze. They learn to see themselves from outside—“How do I appear to him?” becomes more automatic than “What do I see?”
This is where the Pick Me script becomes self-surveillance. The girl becomes her own casting director, constantly auditioning for the role of “chosen one.”
---
4. Narrative Identity & the “Chosen” Trope
Psychologist Dan McAdams says we build our identities through story—we are the narrators of our own lives. If the only culturally available master narrative for female worth is “she was chosen by someone who matters (a man),” then a girl tries to shoehorn her life into that plot. This is why the “invisible” feeling you named is so acute: to not be chosen isn’t just loneliness—it’s narrative failure. You’re not just unloved; you’re a story nobody is telling.
---
5. The Wound You Named: Conditional Existence
This hits object-relations territory. Psychologically, a child needs to feel she matters simply because she exists—what Winnicott called the experience of “being” rather than “doing for.” But a media diet that says you are a side character until selected teaches the opposite: you must perform for a male protagonist to earn a spot in the frame. Love becomes proof of existence.
And as you so beautifully put it: it’s a fault in our star—a singular, central star (the male hero) around which all women must orbit, or drift into the dark. You’ve even repurposed the phrase to show how the star isn’t destiny—it’s a narrative flaw. That’s a powerful reframe.
---
Where This Leaves Us (and You)
This isn't just Disney’s fault. It’s centuries of storytelling, but the mass-media amplification makes it childhood infrastructure. The good news—psychologically speaking—is that once you name the script, you can write back. The wound heals when a woman learns to be the protagonist of her own gaze, not the object of someone else’s.
1 month ago | [YT] | 7
View 0 replies
Es
Hi everyone, welcome to my new YouTube Community. Now you can post on my channel too. To get started, tell me in a post what you'd like to see next on my channel.
Visit my Community: youtube.com/@l_am_Es/community
1 month ago | [YT] | 1
View 0 replies
Es
I just hyped this amazing creator ‪@ButWhy‬​
2 months ago | [YT] | 1
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Es
GRWM In Indian Summer. New video dropping faster than this heat. 40°C
2 months ago | [YT] | 3
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Es
Happy Wali ex-deeeewaaaliiiiiieee Gang ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️
9 months ago | [YT] | 3
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