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I DON’T WANT KIDS. AM I A BAD PERSON?

Even though I’m a proud uncle, I don’t want kids myself. I was on the fence about it during my adolescence, but as the years passed, my wish to live without children solidified.

In the past, people have tried to convince me to have kids, but I’ve never found their reasons particularly appealing or conclusive. Others told me, honestly and based on experience, how difficult parenting can be and that I should think twice about it, which only strengthened my resolve.

The decision not to have kids isn’t received well by everyone. I’m lucky to have an understanding family, but I’ve also witnessed people getting condemned for their choice. The country I’m from, the Netherlands, is overall pretty accepting of people who wish to be voluntarily childless. But in many parts of the world, that’s certainly not the case.

On top of that, the internet is full of animosity toward the childfree. There is a great deal of shaming and blaming, ranging from ignorance and misunderstanding to outright spite toward those who don’t conform to the dominant social norm.

I’ve often struggled to understand, let alone explain or defend, why I don’t want children. At the same time, few life decisions have occupied my thoughts more than this question, which has followed me throughout my adult life, from dating and relationships to watching people around me, especially my friends and siblings, start families.

But today, I think I can explain quite well why I don’t want kids. Moreover, I believe I can make a strong case that choosing not to have children is not morally wrong, and may, in some circumstances, even be the more ethical choice.

In today’s video, I’d like to share with you the reasons why I don’t want children.

3 days ago | [YT] | 1,289

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THE DARK PHILOSOPHY OF LOOKSMAXXING

The term looksmaxxing has been around for over a decade, but it has only recently entered the mainstream, with figures like Clavicular receiving widespread media attention.

At first glance, looksmaxxing seems like little more than internet slang for improving one’s appearance. At its softer end, it offers familiar advice: go to the gym, improve your grooming, watch your diet, get a nice haircut. But in its more extreme forms, it promotes steroid use, plastic surgery, and even practices like “bone smashing.”

When we dive deeper into the strange world of looksmaxxing, we find ideas and beliefs that are pretty… disturbing, to say the least.

Whole online communities have formed around a deeply pessimistic worldview that underpins much of the darker side of looksmaxxing. These communities are made up largely of teenagers and young men in their early twenties. They often push each other toward extreme forms of self-improvement, while attacking and degrading those who fail to meet their beauty ideals, sometimes in deeply dehumanizing ways.

So why are so many young people drawn to looksmaxxing? What kind of society makes plastic surgery and steroids seem like reasonable answers to insecurity and feelings of inadequacy among young men? What ideas drive them in that direction? And does looksmaxxing actually solve the problems it promises to solve?

This week’s video explores the dark philosophy of looksmaxxing.

1 week ago | [YT] | 978

Einzelgänger

SHOULD WE STOP HAVING BABIES?

Is it better never to have been? Some people believe it would indeed be better if no sentient life came into existence. Antinatalism is the philosophical viewpoint that procreation is morally wrong. And therefore, we should avoid it. Some antinatalists think only humans should stop having children; others believe that all sentient beings would be better off if they’d never existed. But isn’t it wrong to oppose the birth of children? Why would anybody be against the creation of new life?

One of today’s most well-known antinatalist philosophers is David Benatar. In his book Better Never to Have Been, Benatar argues that coming into existence is always a serious harm, and thus it’s always wrong to bring new sentient life into existence. Therefore, preventing procreation is the best thing we can do for our potential children, as those who haven’t come into existence are free from the suffering of life. So, his antinatalist position doesn’t come from a hatred of sentient beings. It comes from compassion because it seeks to prevent the inescapable suffering that results from being born.

Antinatalism is a controversial topic that clashes with the worldviews of many. The masses probably oppose antinatalism, viewing it as misanthropic. After all, isn’t ending sentient life as a whole to eradicate suffering a tad extreme?

A number of my essays were previously released as videos, but never published in written form, even though they’re a natural fit for Substack. So every now and then, I’ll be publishing one there. Read the full text here: journeyofideas.substack.com/p/should-we-stop-havin…

1 month ago | [YT] | 1,041

Einzelgänger

WHY WE NEED A CODE AGAIN

It seems that, for more and more people, life feels meaningless. We lack clear direction, struggle to define our purpose, and often drift aimlessly. Meanwhile, the world itself seems increasingly chaotic, as though many of the systems and structures that once provided moral direction, stability, and meaning are slowly falling apart.

And while we may have liberated ourselves, enjoying more freedom and individualism than ever before, many of us also seem somewhat lost… unsure of what to truly believe in or stand for. So, in today’s tumultuous and confusing world, would we benefit from living by a code? And could Bushidō be it?

Bushidō is often described as the samurai code, a collection of virtues and principles associated with Japan’s warrior class. Yet there was never a single, universally accepted code that all samurai followed.

It was only in the late nineteenth century that Nitobe Inazō attempted to systematically describe Bushidō in his famous book Bushidō: The Soul of Japan. Drawing on the ideals of the samurai, he presented Bushidō as a moral philosophy for anyone seeking to live a good life.

This week’s video explores Bushidō and whether it can guide us in a world that has lost its code.

2 months ago | [YT] | 2,354

Einzelgänger

A SIMPLE WAY TO BREAK BAD HABITS

We live in an age of instant gratification. Easy pleasures are all around us, and they constantly beg for our attention. We can indulge in social media, online shopping, streaming, gambling, and mature content without even leaving the couch. Various substances and junk food are widely available, at least in the West.

And so, many of us develop bad habits. Some are rather innocent, others can seriously undermine our well-being. And many struggle to get rid of these bad habits and may try for years, only to relapse over and over again.

The Stoics understood this problem well. They saw excessive desire as a passion: an irrational disturbance that, if we follow it, could get us into trouble. Epictetus spoke extensively about how to deal with the passions, including the temptations that so often lead us astray. In particular, he offered a piece of advice that many of us overlook when trying to break a bad habit.

This week’s video explores a simple way to break bad habits, based on the wisdom of Epictetus.

2 months ago | [YT] | 1,887

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WHY EMPTINESS IS SO IMPORTANT

We often fail to realize how essential emptiness is. Perhaps it is because we instinctively value something over nothing.

We tend to cherish sound more than silence, life more than death, and certainty more than the unknown. Likewise, we often prefer filling our minds, expressing our thoughts, and staying busy over stillness, silence, and simply ‘being’.

To the modern human, what’s emptiness but a deficiency to be filled?

But the ancient Taoists saw emptiness very differently. They believed emptiness has inherent value. In fact, they saw it as one of the most important principles of life, which shouldn’t be avoided but cultivated. The ancient texts provide various examples of how emptiness is important and how it can benefit our lives in profound ways.

This week’s video explores the underrated power of emptiness, based on ancient Taoist philosophy.

2 months ago | [YT] | 2,491

Einzelgänger

In case you missed it, my latest collaboration with After Skool is now live. In it, we explore Wabi-sabi, the Japanese philosophy of perfect imperfection. You can watch it on their YouTube channel.

Check it here: https://youtu.be/7ioGv11Ww5w?si=XDtUd...

2 months ago | [YT] | 771

Einzelgänger

STOP BEING PERFECT

Today’s society is obsessed with perfection. We see people constantly tweaking themselves and their lives, as if “normal” is no longer good enough.

Young men chase facial symmetry and chiseled jawlines, even resorting to steroids and plastic surgery. Young women hesitate to show themselves on social media without filters, embracing unhealthy diets just to ensure they appear flawless on a screen.

Preoccupied with self-improvement, we devour self-help books and follow course after course, attempting to get smarter, more productive, more efficient, and, most importantly, more successful. We have become ‘entrepreneurs of ourselves,’ and our project is self-optimization, a quest that never seems to end.

Our lives as a whole must be perfect, too. We obsess over our minimalist-designed living rooms, fantasize about dream jobs, and set unrealistic standards for potential partners.

And the emergence of AI has enabled us to iron out our flaws – be it in our writings, our voices, our photos – like never before, creating a ‘superreality’ where everything is straight and spotless.

When we strive for perfection, we strive for an existence without fault. But perfection isn’t only impossible and exhausting to pursue; it’s also a bit unappealing, even boring. Imperfection is much more interesting, as far as the Japanese idea of Wabi-sabi is concerned. And, above all, imperfection is real.

In collaboration with After Skool, tomorrow’s video explores a Japanese philosophy of perfect imperfection: Wabi-sabi.

Watch it here: https://youtu.be/7ioGv11Ww5w?si=y5mEX...

2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 2,188

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WHY HEDONISM GOES DEEPER THAN YOU THINK

Could pleasure be more than just an enjoyable experience? Could it be the highest pursuit of human life, and perhaps even the key to happiness?

The Cyrenaics believed that pleasure was the highest good, and they logically defended this view. They stated that the goodness of pleasure and the badness of pain is self-evident. The experience of both pain and pleasure proves whether it’s good or bad. Furthermore, they saw the experience of pleasure and pain as the only reliable experience of the external world.

We interpret the external world through our senses: seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling. Our senses pick up information, which we assume comes from an external realm and thus generates our experiences. But what we perceive aren’t the things in themselves, thought the Cyrenaics; it’s the sensory information from our senses. So, the Cyrenaics believed that we can’t really know the outside world.

Let’s take a look at colors, for example. I cannot know if what I perceive as yellow is the same yellow someone else perceives. Even though we collectively call a specific external appearance ‘yellow,’ who knows: maybe you see yellow as I see purple?

So, how certain can we be about the external world? How can we truly understand what’s virtuous or not, or what’s good and evil? Most of these things are based on manmade ideas. Pain and pleasure, on the other hand, give direct information.

Read more on Substack: journeyofideas.substack.com/p/food-sex-and-partyin…

2 months ago | [YT] | 1,232

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WHY LIFE NEVER REALLY STOPS HURTING

Why does life hurt so much? Why do we have traumatic experiences and walk around with unresolved anger or grief? Why does life sometimes feel like a series of unfortunate events, an ongoing tragedy that just doesn’t seem to end?

The Norwegian philosopher Peter Wessel Zapffe believed it’s not so much the world itself that causes us suffering, but the way we are conscious of it as human beings. Unlike most animals, we human beings are equipped with a mind that allows us to think and reflect deeply on virtually any aspect of life, which may seem like a great thing, but it also has downsides.

Zapffe believed that our consciousness is so overdeveloped that it has become a profound source of suffering, leaving us aware of far more than we can bear. And so, we spend much of our lives running from pain, a cycle that seems impossible to break.

So, how exactly does human consciousness lead to profound suffering? How do we cope? And is there a solution?

This week’s video explores The Last Messiah, Peter Wessel Zapffe’s pitch-black philosophical essay.

3 months ago | [YT] | 1,854