A K A R 1 .' ★

Happy easter! :D

7 months ago | [YT] | 2

A K A R 1 .' ★

its my birthday tday heh :3

8 months ago | [YT] | 1

A K A R 1 .' ★

silly little thing ‪@Sopipi_‬ did with mine and ‪@picklejarz‬'s designs

8 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 5

A K A R 1 .' ★

its valentines day and im fucking lonely

9 months ago | [YT] | 2

A K A R 1 .' ★

OH YEA ITS UR BDAY BBYYYY HEHEHE HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GIYUUUUUUU :333 ❤️❤️

9 months ago | [YT] | 1

A K A R 1 .' ★

are you serious wtf

10 months ago | [YT] | 2

A K A R 1 .' ★

Merry Christmas! Sorry i didnt post anything yesterday abt it :(

🎄❄️ིྀ✮*˙•

Skip the Carousel

1 2

11 months ago | [YT] | 6

A K A R 1 .' ★

WRAPPED 😭

I did not expect mel to be in all my top songs 😔. But to be fair, i was trying to get her on my #1 spot, i think i tried to hard. Btw i dont listen to Jelly roll, me and my step dad share an acc 🙂😼

Skip the Carousel

1 2 3 4

11 months ago | [YT] | 1

A K A R 1 .' ★

Gnna start a Demon Slayer Au, coming soon.. Get ready to the one person reading this >:3

Anyways im currently working on the characters and I'll continue after school, first time using gacha club in a while so forgive me if its bad

1 year ago | [YT] | 1

A K A R 1 .' ★

So im gonna do a little vent here tday!!






A few weeks ago i wws talking to my bff of 10 yrs about how i wanted to kms, i said "i might commit soon, i dont even care anymore at the point i was everything to end." she replied with "that sucks, you have a better life than me and you wanna kys 4 some reason idk how u do it. cuz ur rich ur mom is overprotective but thats a good mom, u only have a bit of drama, u dont have bad hair, ur not ugly, u have a huge house, ur life doesnt suck, ur mom isnt mean to u all the time." i then said "hm." and she then replied w "r u gonna kys or what? bc a teacher didnt ask if u were ok when u were having an anixiety attack?" she said this bc earlier that day i was talking to her about how i had an anxiety attack during class and all i could hear was my teacher asking other ppl if they were ok RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, i kinda over reacted to it cuz i was mid anxiety attack but then she used that thinking thats the only reason i wanted to kms. I responded with "No?"

"Then why? like what, u didnt explain WHY? do u even know why??" i was in the middle of typing cuz she didnt even lemme write but i said "My friends all hate me, no one even cares, I don’t even care, my dad hates me, my dad doesn’t know I exist, I’m fucking ugly, I don’t have the support or trust I need from my parents, everything sucks, people leave me after 1 year, I can’t do anything right, crying is wrong, I’m too skinny, did I mention I’m ugly? I suck, I’m a bad friend, I’m a bad person in general, people suck, this world sucks, do I need more?

No one takes me seriously, people think I’m dumb without even trying to get to know me, people see me as a toy, people see me as a prize you earn but I’m not, I’m a human too. I have valid feelings and people think I can’t have them"

After all that she said "if ur parents dont support u then talk to sophie or someone else. my dad doesnt know i exist either, ur lucky u can even see him sometimes. js talk talk to ur parents, i talked to my mom yesterday abt my therapy nd why i wna go and how i felt." i get at the end she was trying to help, but she literally told me that im 'lucky' to see my abusive dad. I hate when ppl tell me that jst bc they dont see theirs, u think i want to come home crying? To know everything hes done to effect me and mt family then to be told that is not ok and made me super mad. She continued what she was saying with more guilt and making what was supposed to me my venting all abt her, i responded to her saying "ur lucky u can even see him sometimes" and said "When I see him he either hits me, makes me cry, yells at me, or ignores me" she then made it abt her again and said "my dad starved me and always was mean to me, ur lucky ur mom is nice to u all the time" My dad starved me and does to this day, shes out of that toxic household but im not and it has to remain like that for 2 more years.

"and I was only 4" she said, "im skinny too, my friend is underweight nd she is in 8th, she weighs less than u. my other friend is underweight too, theyr 75 Lbs? pounds or smth" i was crying at this point, about to end it all then being compared to by the person i would least expect. I was so sick of it, I tried ending the entire conversation by saying "I don’t rlly wanna be compared Trauma wise, Cause there’s things I don’t tell ppl that I’ve been compared to"

That mostly ended the convo, besides some parts that arent rlly important. You thought i was done? Hah, no.

A few days ago, she texted me in a rush that her friend was gonna khs, she sent me some messages and she seemed so much more panicked than she was w me. She genuinely tried helping him instead of comparing, it hurt super bad to read. She didnt care for me, she cared more for a person she met 1-2 yrs ago, she didnt care if i died or not, she would've and did when anybody else did though.

I was able to help her friend but, knowing she cared more about him than me hurts. Its not even about her caring more, its that she didnt care at all. She barely tried and jst spat out trauma, i didnt see "ive tried committing too" or "whatevers bothering u has brothered me before too." she shouldve cared about both friends when they needed it instead of caring for one more and not caring for the other at all.

Learned my lesson to not vent to her about that stuff anymore, lmao.

1 year ago (edited) | [YT] | 5