Clayton Olson Coaching

Does being committed to you TRAP or LIBERATE?

On July 20th, I made one of the most significant commitments - I got married.

When I think about commitment, I’ve noticed my process of needing to update how I view it. It’s not a box or a prison sentence. Commitment is not a burden or even a duty.

I landed on commitment being a powerful invitation.

The powerful invitation can be met and asked from both sides. But what I hear from many of my female clients is the idea that the commitment they're looking for is too much.

They fear they're taking something away from men or that they're the only ones who benefit.

This mindset turns the conversation around commitment into a power struggle rather than a shared growth journey.

When we view commitment this way, it compromises our ability to speak from a place of possibility and vision.

Instead of offering an inspiring invitation, we find ourselves coercing, convincing, or even manipulating our partners into committing, sometimes resorting to ultimatums.

But here's the truth: How a woman views commitment greatly influences a man's excitement about the relationship.

If you view commitment as a compromise or a loss, it's not an inspiring reality for a man to enter.

And if you can relate to the above, it's time to shift this paradigm.

Let's explore the contrast between the old, limiting beliefs about commitment and a new, empowering perspective:

The old frame, Commitment as a Trap:

means losing freedom
is a burden that weighs men down
is controlling your partner
It's a "necessary evil" for security
limits personal growth and exploration
is something women want, but men resist

This old view creates tension, fear, and resistance. It turns commitment into a tug-of-war rather than a dance of growth.

The New Frame - Commitment as a Catalyst:

- Commitment is a platform for mutual growth and evolution. When you both commit, you create a safe space for vulnerability and change. You're not just promising to stay together; you're pledging to grow together, pushing each other to become your best selves.

- It provides a secure base to take bigger risks in life. With a committed partner by your side, you have a safety net that allows you to pursue your dreams more boldly. Whether it's changing careers, starting a business, or exploring new passions, you have unwavering support.

- Commitment invites you to show up as your best self. It challenges you to bring your A-game every day. It's not about being perfect but about consistently striving to be the partner your loved one deserves, which in turn helps you become the person you aspire to be.

- It amplifies personal freedom through shared support. Rather than limiting you, true commitment expands your horizons. You're free to explore life's possibilities, knowing you have a partner who's got your back. Two committed individuals can achieve far more than either could alone.

- It's a vehicle for more profound self-discovery and authenticity. In the mirror of a committed relationship, you see yourself more clearly. Your partner's love and acceptance encourage you to embrace all aspects of yourself, fostering personal growth and self-acceptance.

It's a powerful choice that both partners make daily. Commitment isn't a one-time decision but a daily choice to love, support, and grow together. This conscious, ongoing commitment keeps the relationship fresh, dynamic, and deeply fulfilling.


In this new frame, commitment becomes an exciting invitation rather than a dreaded obligation.

It's not about clipping wings but about giving each other flight.

When you champion commitment from this perspective, you're not asking your man to give something up.

You're inviting him to gain everything - a deeper connection, a stronger sense of self, and a partner in crime for life's grand adventure.

This is the kind of commitment that doesn't constrain - it liberates.

Yours in growth,
Clayton

7 months ago | [YT] | 29

Clayton Olson Coaching

Do you find yourself sabotaging your relationships?

Maybe it's after 3 months, perhaps 6; for some, it's 18 months...

But no matter the timing, it always unfolds the same way.

It starts with that gut-wrenching feeling.

Something's off.

They're not as invested as you.

Or maybe things are getting serious, and suddenly, you're in panic mode.

Suddenly, everything feels wobbly.

Your mind races: "Am I safe? Is this real? Am I setting myself up for heartbreak?"

Then you react.

Maybe your strategy is to go into Compliance:

You placate them, start people-pleasing, and disappear into the relationship, morphing into whatever you think they want so they won't leave you.

You disconnect from your own needs and hyper-focus on whether they're okay and what they're feeling.

Or you take the familiar route of Defiance:

You go on the offensive, make demands, armor up, give ultimatums, say hurtful things, preemptively pull away, and sometimes break up with them first because you're convinced they'll leave you.

Whatever your strategy, the result is the same.

Your fears about the relationship and connection manifest before your eyes, leading to another round of heartache—another failed relationship.

If you can relate to any of this, know you aren't alone.

I've seen countless successful, put-together individuals - thriving in their careers, crushing it in business - completely lose their heads when it comes to love.

This is Relationship Sabotage 101.

Your brain's wired to see intimacy as a threat. The closer you get, the louder those internal alarms blare.

Sometimes, the danger is real.

They're unfaithful. Their values don't align or are not a good fit.

But often, it's all in your head.

You're sounding the alarm when there's no actual fire.

This is a painful and isolating pattern to be stuck in.

It's like being trapped in a maze of mirrors. Every path you take seems to lead you right back to where you started, reflecting your deepest fears and insecurities.

You can see the exit, but every time you reach for it, you hit another invisible wall of your own creation.

But here's the truth: You don't have to live like this.

You don't need years of therapy to break free. You need to rewire your relationship with yourself and with life.

I've spent over a decade helping people like you break this cycle, and it doesn't take forever.

A few targeted sessions can start shifting those deep-seated beliefs that are screwing up your love life.

If you want to experience a taste of this work first-hand, reply back, and let's connect.

I'm offering a sample of this transformational work to 5 people this month. But only if you're:

- Done playing the blame game in your relationships
- Aware that the change needs to start within you
- 100% committed to breaking this cycle of heartbreak and anxiety

If that's you, email me at clayton@claytonolsoncoaching.com

With love,
Clayton

7 months ago | [YT] | 7

Clayton Olson Coaching

I am face to face with mortality for the first time in a while.

I'm on a trip to support my family through the sudden illness and the possible passing of a loved one.

As human beings, death comes when it wants - sometimes in a season, sometimes in a quick storm.

Death comes as a messenger, asking us to really examine what and how we dwell amongst the living.

Are we doing it right?

Living into our dreams?

With the ones we love?

With the priorities that matter the most?

Life's true impact is felt in the present, not in preparations for death, urging us to focus on being alive and present now.

Bronnie Ware wrote a book about these five regrets of the dying she witnessed in her work in palliative care.

Ware writes of the phenomenal clarity of vision people gain at the end of their lives and how we might learn from their wisdom.

"When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently," she says, "common themes surfaced again and again."

1) "I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me."

2) "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

3) "I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings."

4) "I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends."

5) "I wish I had let myself be happier"

Wouldn't it be sweet to meet the end knowing we did it all - we loved fully, we lived into our most exalted identity, we left nothing unsaid...

Tapping you on the shoulder to plunge into the depths and reach for the heights. Eventually, we all come to the end of this great adventure.

With love,
Clayton

10 months ago | [YT] | 21

Clayton Olson Coaching

Just went live with ‪@MatthewCoast‬ on how to let go and move after a heartbreak. Our conversation was a powerful one. Check it out here:

youtube.com/live/w8fmRbKvxKo?si=409nMoxqPYbQsuxW

10 months ago | [YT] | 3

Clayton Olson Coaching

If you're at a crossroads in your relationship, considering whether to stay or leave, this email is for you.

I've seen hundreds of people make a critical mistake when navigating a breakup that leads to devastating regret down the road.

The thing is, in the midst of the pain and confusion, it's an easy trap to fall into.

But you don't have to be one of them.

There is a way to approach this difficult decision with clarity and wisdom, even if you feel lost right now.

I recently recorded a video outlining the key questions to ask yourself before deciding to stay or walk away.

These insights come from years of coaching people through this challenging transition and witnessing the subtle distinctions that make all the difference.

If you're ready for an illuminating perspective on your situation, one that empowers you to make the best choice for your life and future relationships, check out this new video that just dropped.

With love,
Clayton

P.S. - Whether you choose to stay or leave, remember that this crossroads is a powerful opportunity for your own growth and evolution.

11 months ago | [YT] | 1

Clayton Olson Coaching

I’m waking up this morning feeling deep gratitude for the power of transformational coaching.

For those of you who know me well, you know I’ve experienced the depth of this work firsthand.

I can honestly say it changed my life, and in a moment of true darkness, it even saved my life. There is a power in transformational coaching that I haven’t found elsewhere.

I am deeply grateful to be on this path, in conversation with people who are ready to take responsibility and chart a course towards what they want out of this one precious life.

This message is for those of you who are considering embarking on this journey and want to hear more about what is possible through coaching.

These are the things I love most about transformational coaching and what rings true about the work I do.

Here are 5 hidden truths about transformational coaching…

If this message resonates and you would like to explore how a coaching partnership can impact your life, submit an application here: www.claytonolsoncoaching.com/services

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11 months ago | [YT] | 11

Clayton Olson Coaching

The right person at the wrong time means they aren’t the right person.

1 year ago | [YT] | 34

Clayton Olson Coaching

If you’re in a relationship, but right now, things feel hard, and you may even be on the brink of breaking up...

I'm opening up a couple of spaces to speak with me directly.

This is for people who:

- Constantly anxious and not knowing where things are going.
- Doubting if the relationship will last.
- Feel like you don’t have control in the relationship.
- Not being intimate.
- At a loss for what to do next.

And want to:

- Fix the relationship, and get back to profoundly loving each other.
- Start having fun again.
- Be intimate with each other consistently.
- Be open and truly yourself without fear of judgment.
- Progress to getting engaged or starting a family.
- Have a deep level of trust in your partner.

If you're ready to take back control of your relationship and want to build a deep, loving, and devoted partnership, send me an email to clayton@claytonolsoncoaching.com with the word RELATIONSHIP, and I'll reach out with the details.

With love,
Clayton

1 year ago | [YT] | 8

Clayton Olson Coaching

Hey there,

I've been pretty quiet over here the last month or so. I took time off of work to travel Bali with my fiancé (more on that soon). And, I have been heads down, working with some incredible clients behind the scenes. To each and every one of you who has entrusted me to walk next to you on this path - Thank you.

I have learned so much and love my work because of your courage to show up. Your willingness to invest in yourself and look honestly at who you are is inspiring.

It is an honor to be an ingredient in your transformation.

If you're reading this and you want to make 2024 a year of transformation, clarity and love, let's talk. Fill out this form here and I'll be in touch: www.claytonolsoncoaching.com/coaching-application

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1 year ago | [YT] | 16