Simp Step Daddies?: Seeds, Standards, and the Silence—A Reckoning for @TonightsConversation
Fri, Oct 31, 2025, 10.30AM EDT
Good morning Ace,
Your latest handiwork came across my timeline: that sister's testimony on the 'no seed-raising' rejections turning into a simp-shamed marriage win? Powerful stuff—congrats to them on locking it down. But now, there's a lot to unpack here and I think you know that; sure, the low-hanging fruit is what you addressed. As a brother who's been really listening to Black men from coast to coast for a solid decade now—ALL of them can't be wrong. Sure, the situation the young lady presented you with, granted that's outta pocket. But if we're going to be serious we have to acknowledge the very real horror stories that are all too often associated with blended families and we also have to be honest about the fact that often Black men are forced to choose from among women in our community that are already being kids in tow from a previous situation—often by the worst of Black men.
WATCH NOW: Tonight’s Conversation: “If a man steps up to love and raise another man’s child…is that strength — or does it make him a simp?”
www.facebook.com/share/r/1A52BmZc3S/
Friends Don't Get a Veto After the Vows
And let's address the key issue head-on to get it out of the way: I do not believe a man's friends have a place to put down his choice in a mate once the decision is made. Up until then, they have their say—fair enough; but once the rings go on and 'I do's' are exchanged, the matter is settled. True, there's a fair chance of divorce down the line; that's another matter entirely. The friendly thing to do at that point is to accept the decision. If one cannot abide by it, an amicable parting of ways is called for. So, just so we're clear: No, I do not think this woman's husband's friends were in the right for the way they treated him after his decision was made. If they can't accept it, they need to move on with their lives and wish him well.
The Ad Hominem Dodge and the Deadbeat Pipeline
That said, your clapback at the simp accusers felt like a bridge too far for me. How do we know what they do or don't have in their own lives—and even if you're right that these are men with no women of their own, so what? What does that have to do with the larger issues at play here? It's ad hominem of the worst kind, because it sidesteps something that's gone unaddressed for far too long: the deadbeat pipeline that's got brothers opting out before the seed even sprouts, leaving the village (and step-ins like the ones who saved your own path) to clean up. You've got the platform to delve into why preferences harden into walls, how we break that cycle without shaming the guarded—but I fear the bargainer stance keeps it surface-level.
The Nitty-Gritty: When Stepdad Lost Its Shine
Now we get into the nitty gritty: I'd aver that since roughly 1980, the noble pursuit of stepdad started to lose its luster and status in the wider community. This, in my view, was due to a number of factors, but among these was the burgeoning Welfare State that scholars such as Thomas Sowell, Charles Murray, the late Walter Williams, Larry Elder, and many others have noted had unintended corrosive effects on the Black family—namely, the eroding of the parental role, something historically undermined as the researches of W.E.B. Du Bois and E. Franklin Frazier well documented. Modern Black feminism also played a role, amplifying independence amid the chaos. True, we can cite other things: mass incarceration due to the Crack Wars, the deindustrialization of cities and the like; but what I find all too common in these discussions is that the latter 'root causes' are often the go-to's in the discourse, with the former factors completely left out—not on empirical grounds, but ideological ones. The sheer weight of the evidence demands that we bring them front and center of the discussion, IF we're serious about having a 'Tonight's Conversation.'
Blended Families: The Stats Don't Lie
Keeping with that, Pew Research notes that the most blended families tend to be those of color, lesser educated, and embedded in the blue-collar working class—Black children are nearly twice as likely as white kids to live with a stepparent (15% vs. 8%), and a quarter of Black men have stepkids in tow. They also have higher breakup rates—stepfamilies dissolve at double the pace of first marriages (66% vs. 33%)—with Black and Brown stepdads and male stepkids reporting very negative experiences far more than chance would predict: resentment, financial hits, fractured bonds. What we're hearing from Black men—I know I certainly hear it, and my core demographic is aged 35-44—are either the children of such household arrangements, and/or were those dissed stepdads—often with nothing but hurt feelings, lost money, and recriminations to show for it.
The 80/20 Reckoning: What's In It for Him?
Now, we have to bring in another admittedly painful data point—one that YOU, Ace Metaphor, have begrudgingly acknowledged was in fact the case, in your recent "The Loneliest Man in the Room" episode on your "Tonight's Conversation" podcast. You admitted that a much larger share of Black women are not only having sex with a much smaller group of Black men, but they are bringing forth said smaller cohort's children. Given the very high rate of breakup out of wedlock cohabitating couples have (shoutout to Edin and Kefalas' "Promises I Can Keep", 2005—low-income pairs splitting at 3x the married rate, fraying under mismatched visions and economic strain), the "80/20 Rule"—a term of art used by the Black Manosphere to describe this state of affairs—has now been acknowledged by data scientists and researchers who have poured over dating app data, finding that a very small percentage of men garner sexual interest from a much larger share of women. It is, dare I say, a "Red Pill Truth" that even you cannot ignore. And indeed, we see this at work in the matter at hand—Pew reports that there are more Black women with kids than Black men (61% of women 15-44 vs. 46% of men), and as much as you may not want to openly admit it to your Black female audience, the sobering fact remains that a clear majority of Black men today are single, childless and ~54% of them are solidly in the middle class—meaning, that if they want to mate with a Black woman, particularly in our respective core demographics—35-44—chances are extremely high that a single and childless Black man will have to mate with a Black woman who has at least one child, and more often than not several. Typically, the father will not be of the same personality and social capital characteristics, and per the truly groundbreaking real time long form interviews Kevin Samuels conducted with such Black women in the mating market, their willingness to have children for the stepdad was tepid, at best. It all really raises some uncomfortable questions we must confront if we are to truly get to the bottom of this Gordian Knot: Exactly what is in it for a single, childless and middle class Black man to partner in such a situation? Sure, we can quote Scriptures and wax poetic about love, but we all know that when the day to day rubber hits the road and shit gets real, it's gonna take a lot more than that to keep things going. Avoiding this nasty truth will not make it go away, Ace.
Stop the Cap: Black Men's Desires Ain't the Enemy
That brings me to the next point—and this is where your line about not demonizing a brother's preferences comes into play. True, what you said is indeed the case in theory, but it's more perfunctory than factual. Black Male Desire is something viewed with suspicion in Black Love discourse; he can have his preferences, but he must have them quietly, in hushed tones and away from the lovely ladies, lest they flop out all over the fainting couch. Meanwhile, Black women's standards, boundaries and litmus tests are the stuff of urban legend—often cheered on by the likes of you(!). If a Black man desires a lighter skinned Black woman, he's a colorist and hates himself; if a Black man wants a slimmer Black woman, he's fat shaming; if a Black man wants a Black woman who's more chaste, he's slut shaming; if a Black man wants a Black woman who's more agreeable and cooperative, he wants a slave; if a Black man wants a Black woman a bit younger than himself, he's a pedophile(!); and on it goes—gaslighting at its finest, on a communal scale, at that. Black men having desires is not some contagion that the Black community has to inoculate itself from, Ace—and Black men have every right to give voice to them in the public square as Black women do in voicing theirs lo these many years. Mind you, I've already drawn a line in the sand in my very first salvo in this letter—having a preference is one thing, demonizing others for having differing ones is another—granted. Here, I am talking about something else, and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, because even your own male panelists have said as much, such as SD and Trill AC. So let's, as they say, "stop the cap." This issue is a lot deeper than any of us are willing to admit, Ace—are we really ready to have THAT conversation???"
Let’s talk.
You know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Chief Innovations Officer
Black Manosphere Conclave
www.blackmanosphere.com
OPEN LETTER TO BLACK FEMALE IDENTIFIED BLACK MALE INFLUENCER @MOTIVATION_JASON FROM AN ACTUAL BLACK MANOSPHERE FOUNDER
6:42 AM 10/30/2025 Thu
Good morning Jason,
My name is Mumia Obsidian Ali, and I'm one of those podcasters you seem to have quite a bit to say about, LOL. In addition, I'm the author of four books and counting, one of the founding fathers of the Black Manosphere and a founding father of the Black Manosphere Conclave; in fact, I was surprised to learn that you're native to Houston, as we held our fourth annual conclave there at the Four Seasons hotel.
You've taken a rather strident stance about the Black Manosphere, yet from my review of at least three dozen videos of yours across Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, it strikes me that you actually know very little about who we are or what we do. Much of what informs your hot takes about the Black Manosphere seem to be based on Andrew Tate and Fresh & Fit, neither of whom are directly associated with the conclave. While I certainly respect their work, they do not represent us.
Founded in the fall of 2021, the Black Manosphere Conclave is an annual gathering of Black men from around the world united in the pursuit of excellence; built around offering a strong education in the areas of Science, Technology, Engineering, & Math (STEM), our Theo University program has seen a thousand brothers matriculate, with over three hundred brothers getting hired for lucrative jobs in the big tech sector - hugely significant given the sobering fact that roughly five percent of technology engineers at present are Black male. We not only met our goal of putting 300 brothers through the program and getting jobs on the other side upon graduation, we did it with a year to spare on a five year timeline, as of our aforementioned Houston conclave last year. Over 400 brothers turned out for that event, with Dennis Spurling, Esq., a fellow Houston native, attorney and recently married, giving the keynote address. Next year we will convene in Las Vegas for our sixth conclave. You should consider coming out to join us so you will be more educated about exactly what the Black Manosphere does and what it is really about.
But aside from the mountain of receipts I'm about to show you Jason, let's address the real point of contention you have with brothers like me: You don't like how we talk about Black women. While you are certainly well within your right to disagree and to express as much, you must understand that what we say about Black women isn't idle chit-chat, or "hurt boys talking"; it is firmly rooted in empirical evidence, the Scientific Method, and the mass gathering of anecdotes from brothers from coast to coast over many, many years. Moreover, what we say we can back up with real time intel and evidence, and despite their best efforts, our critics simply cannot counter our actual claims - like you, they can only lob personal insults, launch into histrionic rants, or, as you have frequently resorted to, quote Biblical passages. The simple truth is that Black women on a whole leave a lot to be desired on the mating front - not my personal opinion, that's what the facts, data, research and statistics say - any of which I am prepared and more than willing to pour over with you at a place and time of your choosing. We are willing to say out loud and in the light of day, what everyone else in the country already knows quietly. Please do not shoot the messengers. Either deal with the evidence and debunk with stronger counter evidence, or yield and concede that we are right. That's the honorable, manly thing to do.
I will be hosting a live show over on YouTube, Rumble and X at high noon, EDT/11AM CDT, from my studios here in Philadelphia, where I will lay out in detail and respond in point for point fashion, to at least half a dozen videos selected at random from your Instagram feed. My audience will know of this open letter to you as I will post it both on my community tab on YouTube, as well as reading it aloud so it will be on tape as it were and for the record. You have my personal invitation to join me live on the air to discuss the matter and to offer your side of the story; if you're unable to attend, please let me know what date and time would be best for you.
And now, for those receipts; first, here I am at the Black Manosphere Conclave in Houston last year at the Four Seasons:
Next, here's the results of our exit survey from the above Houston Conclave; our exit survey from this year's Conclave in Miami is ongoing, and I expect the results to be in sometime next month:
While you're on the website, feel free to roam around; there are webinars (I'll be hosting one this coming Sat, Nov 1, 2025 at 8PM EDT with the theme of the importance of Black men having a plan and working their plan), highlights from previous conclaves over the years, and more.
Here's my open letter to Scott Galloway, a prominent critic of the Manosphere:
And here's an open letter to my conclave brother Professor Odi, a fellow social media influencer, about our key talking points:
Are Non-Select & Incel Men Weaponizing Long Term Relationships Against Free Women? (Open Letter To Prof. Odi)
substack.com/home/post/p-164944406
By the way, the above open letter directly addresses - and supports - the Black Manospherian claim that women control access to sex or short term mating, while men control access to nonsexual long term commitment. Again, not my opinion; this is science based evidence, Jason.
You can find me on YouTube, Rumble, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, X and Substack, though the latter I haven't been actively posting on and need to get back to admittedly, LOL. But I'm there, alright. I also maintain an active Patreon, and of course, there's the Black Manosphere Conclave website itself.
Please pardon the length of this letter; it was long, but necessary, given your extensive backlog addressing Black men in general and the Black Manosphere in particular; it merited a lengthy and detailed response. Looking forward to chopping it up on the air soon!
RABBIT HOLE PODCAST #3: THE INCOMPETENCE OF CLUBHOUSE ALPHA MALES LOL
I'm on a roll with the revival of the Rabbit Hole Podcasts here - we're already at the third installment in the new series, and I think Uncle Dave (and Kevin for that matter) would be very pleased - and proud - of this one. After nearly three years of involvement, participation and observation of the proceedings over on Clubhouse, I've identified a series of behaviors on the part of a small cabal of Black men whom I refer to as "Clubhouse Alpha Males". Based on the groundbreaking research work of the late great primatologist Frans de Waal, I layout specific traits, behaviors and strategies our primate cousins - in this case chimpanzees(!) - use to determine who will be the top dog among them - and the results will shock you! All that and more in FOUR HOURS of listening pleasure, right here:
THE SOFT REBOOT OF THE RABBIT HOLE PODCAST HAS BEGUN - MORE DETAILS BELOW!
Sun, Oct 19, 2025 10.15AM EDT
Alright, so since it seems that damned near everyone is having a hard time with getting my stand alone Clubhouse-based podcasts over on Rumble, I've spent some time earlier today coming up with a fix: We're going to move everything over here. This post, which I'll also be posting in a modified form for the public-facing platforms, will breakdown where things go from here.
As you know, social media can be funny with what you can and can't say, post, write, you get the idea. Although YouTube has announced a rolling back from its Biden era heavy handed censorship, one thing I've learned is to never put your trust in Big Tech outfits like YouTube to stand up for your freedom of speech rights. They are, after all, a private business, and I support their right to run their business in anyway they see fit. When I was banned from YouTube the first time back in early 2024, I took it over to Rumble, another private business that boasted a cancellation-free policy, and a staunch supporter of freedom of speech rights. Rumble casts itself as a direct competitor to YouTube, and while it's got its bugs and rough edges, it's also got a lot going for it - I can personally attest to their support for freedom of speech - it's nothing like YouTube in my experience. I've been able to live stream or post whatever I want without complaint at all.
BUT, those downsides are very, very real - and one of them is at the center of today's post. Simply put, many of you are having a heck of a time accessing my stand alone podcasts - ones that are MP3-audio driven, long form, and hard hitting - to say nothing of playing the hits in classic talk radio format. I've got quite a few in Clubhouse form since I've been granted something of a platform in The Barrio room over there. Dr. B, the founder of that room, is a conclave brother (he was holding forth in Miami last month and will be back in Las Vegas next year!), and has given me the green light to go live whenever I like. Since that's the case, I've done a number of lives that I've preserved and uploaded to Rumble. Problem is, none of you can actually get the damned thing to work, LOL.
Neither can I.
So, here's what we're going to do: From here on out, I'm going post up new releases of the Clubhouse-centric podcasts here on Patreon, accessible by Dropbox or Google Drive link. That way, you can download them to the device of your choice and enjoy while you're moving through your day - I do it myself while running various errands (like trips to the post office - if you've ordered a copy or copies of "The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels", your books are on the way!), so I can dig it.
Doing it this way ensures that there'll be no snags, while I figure out how to use Rumble in other ways, other than to mirror my YouTube lives, LOL.
But wait, there's more!
Many of you will remember our friend and elder, David "Uncle Dave" Carroll, the prolific blogger and YouTuber whom I considered to be something of an elder statesman of the Black Manosphere. He passed away due to complications associated with COVID in late Dec 2021 - roughly six months ahead of Kevin - and I've been thinking of a way I can keep his memory alive, the same I've done with Kevin. And I think I've figured it out:
We're going to bring back the Rabbit Hole podcasts!
For those of you who may not know, "Uncle Dave", as I affectionately referred to him, had some seriously hot takes on the issues of the day and in particular what I referred to as Black Female Fuckery, LOL. Not only was Uncle Dave's commentary hot fire - a little too hot for polite company social media - the thumbnails he used to create were straight up Blowfly territory, LMAO! Uncle Dave came up in the era of social media where the lovely ladies could organize mass flagging campaigns on YouTube and Facebook and quite a number of brothers in the Black Manosphere business were effectively put out of business behind it. Uncle Dave, myself and a number of intrepid truth telling brothers survived these purges - and one of the ways we did, was adopting in whole or in part, Uncle Dave's tactics.
Uncle Dave would have a two-pronged social media strategy - for the politically correct 2010s-era YouTube, he would craft PG-13 podcasts; and towards the end, he would let his listeners know that he had the politically incorrect "rabbit hole" version of that podcast topic of the week. He would drop both on Saturdays - and I remember waiting on pins and needles waiting to see what Uncle Dave would be saying that week, and he didn't disappoint either, LOL! I still listen to all of his podcasts, the PG-13 ones and definitely the rabbit holes to this day - not only are they that good, they are still as relevant as ever.
Then, the idea hit me: Why not continue the tradition of rabbit hole podcasts - especially since I now had an "Anti-YouTube" platform to post them on? I thought that I would be able to simply post my version of the rabbit hole up over on Rumble - but that technological dog won't hunt, LOL. So, I'll simply do what Uncle Dave himself did: Post up the link. You had to email him for it; you'll be able to get mine here on Patreon!
That brings me to something else: Producing these podcasts are NOT free; they DO cost money to make. Now, if you're already a paying patron, THANK YOU for doing so; you have no idea how much I value your ongoing support. But if you aren't, please know that it takes your support to keep projects like the rabbit hole pods and other things I do going. My Patreon is setup to where it's very affordable to support my work - choose your weapon, set it and forget it!
Another thing about the rabbit hole tradition from the Uncle Dave era that I'm going to continue, is that YOU the listener/supporter, gets to set the agenda! You know what it is: Hit me up (you can email me, text me, DM me, etc.) with your rabbit hole pod ideas and topics, and I'll get right on it! There's so many things that I simply can't risk discussing on YouTube now that I'm back on it that I think you'll love it, but I also want to keep the lines of communication open in case any of you have any ideas or requests - so hit me up!
Alright, so with all of that out of the way, here's today's link for your to enjoy:
“THE GOSPEL OF SAINT KEVIN SAMUELS” NOW AVAILABLE! MORE BELOW!
Tue, Oct 14, 2025 5.12PM EDT
Hey fellas,
Since I’ve gotten lots of questions about this topic, I thought to address it here on YouTube. I’ll see about pinning this post to the top of the board so everyone will see it.
I have a limited number of quantities of “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” that I am selling for a discounted price of $100 signed and $75 unsigned per copy. These are what I call “special conclave editions” specifically printed for Black Manosphere Conclave members. This is why you don’t see any barcodes, etc. on the books themselves because they were not meant to be sold in stores like Amazon, etc. - they can only be purchased at the Conclave itself.
As you can see, “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” takes on the resemblance of a Bible: hard leather bound covers, gold foil stamping on the front, back and spine; golden gilt edges; and a red satin ribbon marker. Coming in at 418 pages, “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” consists of 26 chapters: 13 for Black men, and 13 for Black women, in the order that Kevin addressed both in his lifetime. It also contains almost 75 pages of endnotes(!)-the most exhaustively sourced and cited book I’ve written to date(!). Every chapter carries the title of some of Kevin’s most memorable live shows and videos-this book was meant to be a fully detailed record of Kevin’s philosophy, teachings and talking points, so that those who engage with his content-be they friend or foe-will know in full exactly what he meant. This book came about in my final conversation with Kevin on Easter Sunday, 2022-barely two weeks before his untimely passing. He enthusiastically endorsed my book idea and as of this writing, is the only book about Kevin that has been sanctioned by his estate. It’s a true labor of love and a final tribute to a true friend to me.
You can order your copy via CashApp: $ObsidianRadio or PayPal at Obsidian Talk Radio-please don’t forget to include details on who to sign your book out to and where to mail it to. There is also no limit to the number of copies you can purchase-first come, first served!
Don’t miss your chance to get a piece of Black Manosphere history as I don’t know if I’ll be having another special shipment like this made!
I said that I was going to put this matter to a vote and here I am doing just that! So, yesterday I did a de facto double header - a live show at lunchtime and another live show during evening drive. I said that I would ask all of you if you'd be cool with me going live from say, 11.30AM-2PM (lunchtime) and going live again around 5PM-7PM (evening drive rush hour). This would be THREE DAYS a week - ideally Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but that could change up depending on what I've got on my schedule, etc. But the idea is to go live for a max of two hours per live show, twice a day, three days a week. That leaves two days during the work week for me to do other stuff (like mailing out these special conclave edition of "The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels" books!). So, y'all let me know what you think - good idea, or nah? Take today's poll and leave whatever comments or questions of your own below - and thank you!
TODAY'S POLL: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY CONTINUE LAST NIGHT'S REVIEW OF THE MELYSSA FORD-ACE METAPHOR INTERVIEW?
Thu, Aug 14, 2025 10.12AM EDT
Last night's live show had me not being able to finish my commentary and review of the recent Melyssa Ford-Ace Metaphor interview on her "Hot & Bothered" podcast. So, I decided to ask all of you, since this makes a very good reason to launch my very first poll since coming back to YouTube: So, what do you think? Should I pickup where I left off from last night tomorrow night (Fri. Aug 15, 2025), or should I move on to something else? Take today's poll - and thank you!
THE BLACK MANOSPHERE BRINGS RECEIPTS - BOOM! Since its founding in late 2021, the Black Manosphere Conclave has risen to the top of events aimed at Black men nationwide, offering a wide array of courses, with one goal in mind: Making Black men, as the "Six Million Dollar Man" tv show from back in the day would say: "Better...faster...stronger". More than 700 brothers have passed through Chief Technology Officer TheoWAF's "Theo University"'s STEM program, with another 200-plus brothers holding multiple certifications in the areas of cloud computing and engineering, information technology and cybersecurity, now holding high-paying and deeply rewarding positions in some of the world's biggest businesses. Much of our work has been behind the scenes in relative obscurity, but that ends today as one of our graduates emerges from the shadows to give his testimony in a special one on one interview with yours truly. Because of operational security reasons, I cannot release his name or image, but he will be here in the voice to discuss his journey from rank and file brother to Hi-Tech High Value Man right here on a special mid-morning edition of After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali - join us!
After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
Simp Step Daddies?: Seeds, Standards, and the Silence—A Reckoning for @TonightsConversation
Fri, Oct 31, 2025, 10.30AM EDT
Good morning Ace,
Your latest handiwork came across my timeline: that sister's testimony on the 'no seed-raising' rejections turning into a simp-shamed marriage win? Powerful stuff—congrats to them on locking it down. But now, there's a lot to unpack here and I think you know that; sure, the low-hanging fruit is what you addressed. As a brother who's been really listening to Black men from coast to coast for a solid decade now—ALL of them can't be wrong. Sure, the situation the young lady presented you with, granted that's outta pocket. But if we're going to be serious we have to acknowledge the very real horror stories that are all too often associated with blended families and we also have to be honest about the fact that often Black men are forced to choose from among women in our community that are already being kids in tow from a previous situation—often by the worst of Black men.
WATCH NOW: Tonight’s Conversation: “If a man steps up to love and raise another man’s child…is that strength — or does it make him a simp?”
www.facebook.com/share/r/1A52BmZc3S/
Friends Don't Get a Veto After the Vows
And let's address the key issue head-on to get it out of the way: I do not believe a man's friends have a place to put down his choice in a mate once the decision is made. Up until then, they have their say—fair enough; but once the rings go on and 'I do's' are exchanged, the matter is settled. True, there's a fair chance of divorce down the line; that's another matter entirely. The friendly thing to do at that point is to accept the decision. If one cannot abide by it, an amicable parting of ways is called for. So, just so we're clear: No, I do not think this woman's husband's friends were in the right for the way they treated him after his decision was made. If they can't accept it, they need to move on with their lives and wish him well.
The Ad Hominem Dodge and the Deadbeat Pipeline
That said, your clapback at the simp accusers felt like a bridge too far for me. How do we know what they do or don't have in their own lives—and even if you're right that these are men with no women of their own, so what? What does that have to do with the larger issues at play here? It's ad hominem of the worst kind, because it sidesteps something that's gone unaddressed for far too long: the deadbeat pipeline that's got brothers opting out before the seed even sprouts, leaving the village (and step-ins like the ones who saved your own path) to clean up. You've got the platform to delve into why preferences harden into walls, how we break that cycle without shaming the guarded—but I fear the bargainer stance keeps it surface-level.
The Nitty-Gritty: When Stepdad Lost Its Shine
Now we get into the nitty gritty: I'd aver that since roughly 1980, the noble pursuit of stepdad started to lose its luster and status in the wider community. This, in my view, was due to a number of factors, but among these was the burgeoning Welfare State that scholars such as Thomas Sowell, Charles Murray, the late Walter Williams, Larry Elder, and many others have noted had unintended corrosive effects on the Black family—namely, the eroding of the parental role, something historically undermined as the researches of W.E.B. Du Bois and E. Franklin Frazier well documented. Modern Black feminism also played a role, amplifying independence amid the chaos. True, we can cite other things: mass incarceration due to the Crack Wars, the deindustrialization of cities and the like; but what I find all too common in these discussions is that the latter 'root causes' are often the go-to's in the discourse, with the former factors completely left out—not on empirical grounds, but ideological ones. The sheer weight of the evidence demands that we bring them front and center of the discussion, IF we're serious about having a 'Tonight's Conversation.'
Blended Families: The Stats Don't Lie
Keeping with that, Pew Research notes that the most blended families tend to be those of color, lesser educated, and embedded in the blue-collar working class—Black children are nearly twice as likely as white kids to live with a stepparent (15% vs. 8%), and a quarter of Black men have stepkids in tow. They also have higher breakup rates—stepfamilies dissolve at double the pace of first marriages (66% vs. 33%)—with Black and Brown stepdads and male stepkids reporting very negative experiences far more than chance would predict: resentment, financial hits, fractured bonds. What we're hearing from Black men—I know I certainly hear it, and my core demographic is aged 35-44—are either the children of such household arrangements, and/or were those dissed stepdads—often with nothing but hurt feelings, lost money, and recriminations to show for it.
The 80/20 Reckoning: What's In It for Him?
Now, we have to bring in another admittedly painful data point—one that YOU, Ace Metaphor, have begrudgingly acknowledged was in fact the case, in your recent "The Loneliest Man in the Room" episode on your "Tonight's Conversation" podcast. You admitted that a much larger share of Black women are not only having sex with a much smaller group of Black men, but they are bringing forth said smaller cohort's children. Given the very high rate of breakup out of wedlock cohabitating couples have (shoutout to Edin and Kefalas' "Promises I Can Keep", 2005—low-income pairs splitting at 3x the married rate, fraying under mismatched visions and economic strain), the "80/20 Rule"—a term of art used by the Black Manosphere to describe this state of affairs—has now been acknowledged by data scientists and researchers who have poured over dating app data, finding that a very small percentage of men garner sexual interest from a much larger share of women. It is, dare I say, a "Red Pill Truth" that even you cannot ignore. And indeed, we see this at work in the matter at hand—Pew reports that there are more Black women with kids than Black men (61% of women 15-44 vs. 46% of men), and as much as you may not want to openly admit it to your Black female audience, the sobering fact remains that a clear majority of Black men today are single, childless and ~54% of them are solidly in the middle class—meaning, that if they want to mate with a Black woman, particularly in our respective core demographics—35-44—chances are extremely high that a single and childless Black man will have to mate with a Black woman who has at least one child, and more often than not several. Typically, the father will not be of the same personality and social capital characteristics, and per the truly groundbreaking real time long form interviews Kevin Samuels conducted with such Black women in the mating market, their willingness to have children for the stepdad was tepid, at best. It all really raises some uncomfortable questions we must confront if we are to truly get to the bottom of this Gordian Knot: Exactly what is in it for a single, childless and middle class Black man to partner in such a situation? Sure, we can quote Scriptures and wax poetic about love, but we all know that when the day to day rubber hits the road and shit gets real, it's gonna take a lot more than that to keep things going. Avoiding this nasty truth will not make it go away, Ace.
Stop the Cap: Black Men's Desires Ain't the Enemy
That brings me to the next point—and this is where your line about not demonizing a brother's preferences comes into play. True, what you said is indeed the case in theory, but it's more perfunctory than factual. Black Male Desire is something viewed with suspicion in Black Love discourse; he can have his preferences, but he must have them quietly, in hushed tones and away from the lovely ladies, lest they flop out all over the fainting couch. Meanwhile, Black women's standards, boundaries and litmus tests are the stuff of urban legend—often cheered on by the likes of you(!). If a Black man desires a lighter skinned Black woman, he's a colorist and hates himself; if a Black man wants a slimmer Black woman, he's fat shaming; if a Black man wants a Black woman who's more chaste, he's slut shaming; if a Black man wants a Black woman who's more agreeable and cooperative, he wants a slave; if a Black man wants a Black woman a bit younger than himself, he's a pedophile(!); and on it goes—gaslighting at its finest, on a communal scale, at that. Black men having desires is not some contagion that the Black community has to inoculate itself from, Ace—and Black men have every right to give voice to them in the public square as Black women do in voicing theirs lo these many years. Mind you, I've already drawn a line in the sand in my very first salvo in this letter—having a preference is one thing, demonizing others for having differing ones is another—granted. Here, I am talking about something else, and I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, because even your own male panelists have said as much, such as SD and Trill AC. So let's, as they say, "stop the cap." This issue is a lot deeper than any of us are willing to admit, Ace—are we really ready to have THAT conversation???"
Let’s talk.
You know where to find me.
Sincerely,
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Chief Innovations Officer
Black Manosphere Conclave
www.blackmanosphere.com
4 days ago (edited) | [YT] | 29
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
OPEN LETTER TO BLACK FEMALE IDENTIFIED BLACK MALE INFLUENCER @MOTIVATION_JASON FROM AN ACTUAL BLACK MANOSPHERE FOUNDER
6:42 AM 10/30/2025 Thu
Good morning Jason,
My name is Mumia Obsidian Ali, and I'm one of those podcasters you seem to have quite a bit to say about, LOL. In addition, I'm the author of four books and counting, one of the founding fathers of the Black Manosphere and a founding father of the Black Manosphere Conclave; in fact, I was surprised to learn that you're native to Houston, as we held our fourth annual conclave there at the Four Seasons hotel.
You've taken a rather strident stance about the Black Manosphere, yet from my review of at least three dozen videos of yours across Instagram, TikTok and YouTube, it strikes me that you actually know very little about who we are or what we do. Much of what informs your hot takes about the Black Manosphere seem to be based on Andrew Tate and Fresh & Fit, neither of whom are directly associated with the conclave. While I certainly respect their work, they do not represent us.
Founded in the fall of 2021, the Black Manosphere Conclave is an annual gathering of Black men from around the world united in the pursuit of excellence; built around offering a strong education in the areas of Science, Technology, Engineering, & Math (STEM), our Theo University program has seen a thousand brothers matriculate, with over three hundred brothers getting hired for lucrative jobs in the big tech sector - hugely significant given the sobering fact that roughly five percent of technology engineers at present are Black male. We not only met our goal of putting 300 brothers through the program and getting jobs on the other side upon graduation, we did it with a year to spare on a five year timeline, as of our aforementioned Houston conclave last year. Over 400 brothers turned out for that event, with Dennis Spurling, Esq., a fellow Houston native, attorney and recently married, giving the keynote address. Next year we will convene in Las Vegas for our sixth conclave. You should consider coming out to join us so you will be more educated about exactly what the Black Manosphere does and what it is really about.
But aside from the mountain of receipts I'm about to show you Jason, let's address the real point of contention you have with brothers like me: You don't like how we talk about Black women. While you are certainly well within your right to disagree and to express as much, you must understand that what we say about Black women isn't idle chit-chat, or "hurt boys talking"; it is firmly rooted in empirical evidence, the Scientific Method, and the mass gathering of anecdotes from brothers from coast to coast over many, many years. Moreover, what we say we can back up with real time intel and evidence, and despite their best efforts, our critics simply cannot counter our actual claims - like you, they can only lob personal insults, launch into histrionic rants, or, as you have frequently resorted to, quote Biblical passages. The simple truth is that Black women on a whole leave a lot to be desired on the mating front - not my personal opinion, that's what the facts, data, research and statistics say - any of which I am prepared and more than willing to pour over with you at a place and time of your choosing. We are willing to say out loud and in the light of day, what everyone else in the country already knows quietly. Please do not shoot the messengers. Either deal with the evidence and debunk with stronger counter evidence, or yield and concede that we are right. That's the honorable, manly thing to do.
I will be hosting a live show over on YouTube, Rumble and X at high noon, EDT/11AM CDT, from my studios here in Philadelphia, where I will lay out in detail and respond in point for point fashion, to at least half a dozen videos selected at random from your Instagram feed. My audience will know of this open letter to you as I will post it both on my community tab on YouTube, as well as reading it aloud so it will be on tape as it were and for the record. You have my personal invitation to join me live on the air to discuss the matter and to offer your side of the story; if you're unable to attend, please let me know what date and time would be best for you.
And now, for those receipts; first, here I am at the Black Manosphere Conclave in Houston last year at the Four Seasons:
Mumia Obsidian Ali Full Interview At The Black Manosphere Conclave 4.0 ,Houston 2024 #manosphere
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spisL...
Next, here's the results of our exit survey from the above Houston Conclave; our exit survey from this year's Conclave in Miami is ongoing, and I expect the results to be in sometime next month:
Black Manosphere 4.0 Houston 2024 Exit Survey Findings: Debunking The Naysayers, Critics & Haters
blackmanosphere.com/blogs/news/black-manosphere-4-…
While you're on the website, feel free to roam around; there are webinars (I'll be hosting one this coming Sat, Nov 1, 2025 at 8PM EDT with the theme of the importance of Black men having a plan and working their plan), highlights from previous conclaves over the years, and more.
Here's my open letter to Scott Galloway, a prominent critic of the Manosphere:
"Masculinity Debate: Are Dating Apps Creating Incels?! Lonely Men Are More Dangerous Than Ever!" - An Open Letter To Steven Bartlett
blackmanosphere.com/blogs/news/masculinity-debate-…
And here's an open letter to my conclave brother Professor Odi, a fellow social media influencer, about our key talking points:
Are Non-Select & Incel Men Weaponizing Long Term Relationships Against Free Women? (Open Letter To Prof. Odi)
substack.com/home/post/p-164944406
By the way, the above open letter directly addresses - and supports - the Black Manospherian claim that women control access to sex or short term mating, while men control access to nonsexual long term commitment. Again, not my opinion; this is science based evidence, Jason.
You can find me on YouTube, Rumble, TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, X and Substack, though the latter I haven't been actively posting on and need to get back to admittedly, LOL. But I'm there, alright. I also maintain an active Patreon, and of course, there's the Black Manosphere Conclave website itself.
Please pardon the length of this letter; it was long, but necessary, given your extensive backlog addressing Black men in general and the Black Manosphere in particular; it merited a lengthy and detailed response. Looking forward to chopping it up on the air soon!
The Many Faces Of The "Black Female Identified" Black Male - SMH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU_GF...
rumble.com/v70zj0w-the-many-faces-of-the-black-fem…
Sincerely,
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Chief Innovations Officer
Black Manosphere Conclave
www.blackmanosphere.com
5 days ago | [YT] | 27
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
RABBIT HOLE PODCAST #3: THE INCOMPETENCE OF CLUBHOUSE ALPHA MALES LOL
I'm on a roll with the revival of the Rabbit Hole Podcasts here - we're already at the third installment in the new series, and I think Uncle Dave (and Kevin for that matter) would be very pleased - and proud - of this one. After nearly three years of involvement, participation and observation of the proceedings over on Clubhouse, I've identified a series of behaviors on the part of a small cabal of Black men whom I refer to as "Clubhouse Alpha Males". Based on the groundbreaking research work of the late great primatologist Frans de Waal, I layout specific traits, behaviors and strategies our primate cousins - in this case chimpanzees(!) - use to determine who will be the top dog among them - and the results will shock you! All that and more in FOUR HOURS of listening pleasure, right here:
www.patreon.com/posts/rabbit-hole-3-of-141656818
Enjoy - and more to come soon!
MOA
1 week ago | [YT] | 26
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
THE SOFT REBOOT OF THE RABBIT HOLE PODCAST HAS BEGUN - MORE DETAILS BELOW!
Sun, Oct 19, 2025 10.15AM EDT
Alright, so since it seems that damned near everyone is having a hard time with getting my stand alone Clubhouse-based podcasts over on Rumble, I've spent some time earlier today coming up with a fix: We're going to move everything over here. This post, which I'll also be posting in a modified form for the public-facing platforms, will breakdown where things go from here.
As you know, social media can be funny with what you can and can't say, post, write, you get the idea. Although YouTube has announced a rolling back from its Biden era heavy handed censorship, one thing I've learned is to never put your trust in Big Tech outfits like YouTube to stand up for your freedom of speech rights. They are, after all, a private business, and I support their right to run their business in anyway they see fit. When I was banned from YouTube the first time back in early 2024, I took it over to Rumble, another private business that boasted a cancellation-free policy, and a staunch supporter of freedom of speech rights. Rumble casts itself as a direct competitor to YouTube, and while it's got its bugs and rough edges, it's also got a lot going for it - I can personally attest to their support for freedom of speech - it's nothing like YouTube in my experience. I've been able to live stream or post whatever I want without complaint at all.
BUT, those downsides are very, very real - and one of them is at the center of today's post. Simply put, many of you are having a heck of a time accessing my stand alone podcasts - ones that are MP3-audio driven, long form, and hard hitting - to say nothing of playing the hits in classic talk radio format. I've got quite a few in Clubhouse form since I've been granted something of a platform in The Barrio room over there. Dr. B, the founder of that room, is a conclave brother (he was holding forth in Miami last month and will be back in Las Vegas next year!), and has given me the green light to go live whenever I like. Since that's the case, I've done a number of lives that I've preserved and uploaded to Rumble. Problem is, none of you can actually get the damned thing to work, LOL.
Neither can I.
So, here's what we're going to do: From here on out, I'm going post up new releases of the Clubhouse-centric podcasts here on Patreon, accessible by Dropbox or Google Drive link. That way, you can download them to the device of your choice and enjoy while you're moving through your day - I do it myself while running various errands (like trips to the post office - if you've ordered a copy or copies of "The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels", your books are on the way!), so I can dig it.
Doing it this way ensures that there'll be no snags, while I figure out how to use Rumble in other ways, other than to mirror my YouTube lives, LOL.
But wait, there's more!
Many of you will remember our friend and elder, David "Uncle Dave" Carroll, the prolific blogger and YouTuber whom I considered to be something of an elder statesman of the Black Manosphere. He passed away due to complications associated with COVID in late Dec 2021 - roughly six months ahead of Kevin - and I've been thinking of a way I can keep his memory alive, the same I've done with Kevin. And I think I've figured it out:
We're going to bring back the Rabbit Hole podcasts!
For those of you who may not know, "Uncle Dave", as I affectionately referred to him, had some seriously hot takes on the issues of the day and in particular what I referred to as Black Female Fuckery, LOL. Not only was Uncle Dave's commentary hot fire - a little too hot for polite company social media - the thumbnails he used to create were straight up Blowfly territory, LMAO! Uncle Dave came up in the era of social media where the lovely ladies could organize mass flagging campaigns on YouTube and Facebook and quite a number of brothers in the Black Manosphere business were effectively put out of business behind it. Uncle Dave, myself and a number of intrepid truth telling brothers survived these purges - and one of the ways we did, was adopting in whole or in part, Uncle Dave's tactics.
Uncle Dave would have a two-pronged social media strategy - for the politically correct 2010s-era YouTube, he would craft PG-13 podcasts; and towards the end, he would let his listeners know that he had the politically incorrect "rabbit hole" version of that podcast topic of the week. He would drop both on Saturdays - and I remember waiting on pins and needles waiting to see what Uncle Dave would be saying that week, and he didn't disappoint either, LOL! I still listen to all of his podcasts, the PG-13 ones and definitely the rabbit holes to this day - not only are they that good, they are still as relevant as ever.
Then, the idea hit me: Why not continue the tradition of rabbit hole podcasts - especially since I now had an "Anti-YouTube" platform to post them on? I thought that I would be able to simply post my version of the rabbit hole up over on Rumble - but that technological dog won't hunt, LOL. So, I'll simply do what Uncle Dave himself did: Post up the link. You had to email him for it; you'll be able to get mine here on Patreon!
That brings me to something else: Producing these podcasts are NOT free; they DO cost money to make. Now, if you're already a paying patron, THANK YOU for doing so; you have no idea how much I value your ongoing support. But if you aren't, please know that it takes your support to keep projects like the rabbit hole pods and other things I do going. My Patreon is setup to where it's very affordable to support my work - choose your weapon, set it and forget it!
Another thing about the rabbit hole tradition from the Uncle Dave era that I'm going to continue, is that YOU the listener/supporter, gets to set the agenda! You know what it is: Hit me up (you can email me, text me, DM me, etc.) with your rabbit hole pod ideas and topics, and I'll get right on it! There's so many things that I simply can't risk discussing on YouTube now that I'm back on it that I think you'll love it, but I also want to keep the lines of communication open in case any of you have any ideas or requests - so hit me up!
Alright, so with all of that out of the way, here's today's link for your to enjoy:
www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/x1xj6svlqxigdstr4udpp/The-B…
www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/weww30ih7hdt75ms3199n/The-B…
More to come soon - spread the word!
And Uncle Dave, may you forever rest in paradise!
Y'all be cool,
MOA
2 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 84
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
“THE GOSPEL OF SAINT KEVIN SAMUELS” NOW AVAILABLE! MORE BELOW!
Tue, Oct 14, 2025 5.12PM EDT
Hey fellas,
Since I’ve gotten lots of questions about this topic, I thought to address it here on YouTube. I’ll see about pinning this post to the top of the board so everyone will see it.
I have a limited number of quantities of “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” that I am selling for a discounted price of $100 signed and $75 unsigned per copy. These are what I call “special conclave editions” specifically printed for Black Manosphere Conclave members. This is why you don’t see any barcodes, etc. on the books themselves because they were not meant to be sold in stores like Amazon, etc. - they can only be purchased at the Conclave itself.
As you can see, “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” takes on the resemblance of a Bible: hard leather bound covers, gold foil stamping on the front, back and spine; golden gilt edges; and a red satin ribbon marker. Coming in at 418 pages, “The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels” consists of 26 chapters: 13 for Black men, and 13 for Black women, in the order that Kevin addressed both in his lifetime. It also contains almost 75 pages of endnotes(!)-the most exhaustively sourced and cited book I’ve written to date(!). Every chapter carries the title of some of Kevin’s most memorable live shows and videos-this book was meant to be a fully detailed record of Kevin’s philosophy, teachings and talking points, so that those who engage with his content-be they friend or foe-will know in full exactly what he meant. This book came about in my final conversation with Kevin on Easter Sunday, 2022-barely two weeks before his untimely passing. He enthusiastically endorsed my book idea and as of this writing, is the only book about Kevin that has been sanctioned by his estate. It’s a true labor of love and a final tribute to a true friend to me.
You can order your copy via CashApp: $ObsidianRadio or PayPal at Obsidian Talk Radio-please don’t forget to include details on who to sign your book out to and where to mail it to. There is also no limit to the number of copies you can purchase-first come, first served!
Don’t miss your chance to get a piece of Black Manosphere history as I don’t know if I’ll be having another special shipment like this made!
Thank you!
MOA
3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 99
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
SHOULD THE O-MAN DO TWO-A-DAYS LIVE SHOWS?
Sat, Oct 4, 2025 9.44AM EDT
Hey fellas,
I said that I was going to put this matter to a vote and here I am doing just that! So, yesterday I did a de facto double header - a live show at lunchtime and another live show during evening drive. I said that I would ask all of you if you'd be cool with me going live from say, 11.30AM-2PM (lunchtime) and going live again around 5PM-7PM (evening drive rush hour). This would be THREE DAYS a week - ideally Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but that could change up depending on what I've got on my schedule, etc. But the idea is to go live for a max of two hours per live show, twice a day, three days a week. That leaves two days during the work week for me to do other stuff (like mailing out these special conclave edition of "The Gospel of Saint Kevin Samuels" books!). So, y'all let me know what you think - good idea, or nah? Take today's poll and leave whatever comments or questions of your own below - and thank you!
1 month ago | [YT] | 30
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
TODAY'S POLL: WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MY CONTINUE LAST NIGHT'S REVIEW OF THE MELYSSA FORD-ACE METAPHOR INTERVIEW?
Thu, Aug 14, 2025 10.12AM EDT
Last night's live show had me not being able to finish my commentary and review of the recent Melyssa Ford-Ace Metaphor interview on her "Hot & Bothered" podcast. So, I decided to ask all of you, since this makes a very good reason to launch my very first poll since coming back to YouTube: So, what do you think? Should I pickup where I left off from last night tomorrow night (Fri. Aug 15, 2025), or should I move on to something else? Take today's poll - and thank you!
2 months ago | [YT] | 36
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
The Black Manosphere Brings RECEIPTS - BOOM!
TODAY AT 11AM EDT!
On Rumble: rumble.com/v6xh9o4-the-black-manosphere-brings-rec…
On Youtube: youtube.com/@afterofficehoursmoa
9:09 AM 8/12/2025 Tue
THE BLACK MANOSPHERE BRINGS RECEIPTS - BOOM! Since its founding in late 2021, the Black Manosphere Conclave has risen to the top of events aimed at Black men nationwide, offering a wide array of courses, with one goal in mind: Making Black men, as the "Six Million Dollar Man" tv show from back in the day would say: "Better...faster...stronger". More than 700 brothers have passed through Chief Technology Officer TheoWAF's "Theo University"'s STEM program, with another 200-plus brothers holding multiple certifications in the areas of cloud computing and engineering, information technology and cybersecurity, now holding high-paying and deeply rewarding positions in some of the world's biggest businesses. Much of our work has been behind the scenes in relative obscurity, but that ends today as one of our graduates emerges from the shadows to give his testimony in a special one on one interview with yours truly. Because of operational security reasons, I cannot release his name or image, but he will be here in the voice to discuss his journey from rank and file brother to Hi-Tech High Value Man right here on a special mid-morning edition of After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali - join us!
#rumble #youtube #afterofficehours #blackmanosphere #blackmanosphereconclave #manosphere #men #blackmen #stem #cybersecurity #informationtechnology #cloudcomputing #cloudengineering #sixmilliondollarman #mumiaobsidianali
2 months ago | [YT] | 41
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After Office Hours with Mumia Obsidian Ali
Don't call it a comeback...
TONIGHT MON AUG 11, 2025 9PM EDT!
2 months ago | [YT] | 75
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