Reinout te Brake

Funny how we listen to people we’d normally ignore.

I heard a line the other day. One of those lines where you think. Hm. This is almost too simple. But it sticks anyway. Something like. You shouldn’t worry about criticism from someone you’d never ask for advice. And the longer I sat with it, the more I thought. Yeah. That’s exactly it.

Because if you’re honest. How many of your doubts actually come from people who matter. Usually none. Usually it comes from someone you hardly know, or someone who never takes risks, or someone who’s been doing the same thing for twenty years and panics at the idea of change. And yet those voices. Those are the ones we hear. Louder than the people we do trust. It’s weird if you think about it.

I notice it in myself too. You’re building something. You’re working on an idea. It’s finally starting to become real. And right then. Out of nowhere. Someone drops a tiny comment. One of those casual throwaway lines. “Is that smart.” “A lot of people already do that.” “Shouldn’t you first…” You know the type. And suddenly that small sentence takes up more space in your head than the opinion of someone who actually understands how the world works.

It’s like our brain has a VIP policy but the wrong way around. The people you normally wouldn’t even let inside get a wristband and full backstage access. Meanwhile the people you should listen to are outside waiting, while you sit inside analyzing nonsense.

And what always strikes me. Confident people aren’t necessarily the loudest. Not even the most talented. They just have one advantage. They don’t let noise stop them. They hear it. But it doesn’t land. They think. Yeah yeah. People always say things. And they keep going. And that’s exactly why they get further.

Because let’s be honest. How many of your plans have you dropped because someone said something. Or because you thought someone might think something. Even that. The opinions that don’t even exist. The comments nobody actually made. But you heard them already in your head. Efficient. You stop yourself with criticism that hasn’t even been spoken.

And then later you meet someone who did push through. Who just went for it. Who thought. I’ll figure it out. And you think. Why didn’t I do that. What held me back. And nine times out of ten it’s not the world. It’s your own antenna. Tuned a little too sharply to people who shouldn’t have any say in your direction.

It’s like being on holiday and letting someone navigate who doesn’t even know what country you’re in. You’d never do that. But in real life we do it all the time. Because it feels safe. Or because deep down we’re scared of messing up. Understandable. But a waste. Especially when you look at who you’re letting steer.

So maybe that’s the trick. Not being tougher. Not being louder. Not pretending you know everything. Just choosing better who you let in. Who you take seriously. Who actually has something meaningful to say about what you’re trying to do. The rest. Nice people probably. But background noise.

Next time you catch yourself hesitating because someone said something. Or because someone might have an opinion. Ask yourself. Would I ever go to this person for advice. If the answer is no. Done. They don’t get to rent space in your head. Slide it aside. Close the tab. The table is full. And you decide who gets a seat.

Because it’s true. Someone with confidence. Even a small bit of confidence at the start. Is almost impossible to stop. Not because they never fail. But because they follow their own course. And because they know exactly which voices are background noise. And which ones point the way.

#mindset #growth #confidence

1 month ago | [YT] | 0