I have a new video to post and I will do so really soon. So much has been happening.
It’s nerve wracking for me to think my life is going pretty smoothly right now because I get so fearful of the next tumble down into the abyss. I know life is a rollercoaster but my highs are so high and my lows are so low; it’s so tiresome and I don’t want it to be like this anymore. I’m really concerned about the progress of my professional life, more specifically, the lack of its existence. I’m 23 and I haven’t moved up any sort of professional ladder and I have no work experience that I’d be willing to share with employers (I’ve been fired or quit on the spot of every job I’ve ever had). It prevents me from trying to get a new job because I don’t want it to be another failure. I can’t even hold down a normal waitress or retail job, much less a high pressure office job. I’m satisfied with who I am and the way I conduct myself with others, but on paper, I’m a mess. I basically have nothing to my name. I’m getting horribly depressed writing this. I guess it’s not worth it to get preoccupied with grand scheme things like this, as opposed to focusing on the here and now.
I really need to get a psychologist to move forward but it seems like no one talks about how difficult that is, especially when you literally can’t engage in many basic elements of life. I wish I was just someone down on my luck or going through a bad spell, but it really gets to me knowing that I’ve basically always been like this. I guess I’ll never improve if I continue to harp on the past. But I just…I can’t help it anymore.
Hi I’m really sorry I haven’t been uploading I just get really in my head and think “no one will even care to watch this”. I just need to follow my gut. I’ll upload today or tmrw <3
Hi idk if this will even post but YouTube took down the video I uploaded on my birthday, and hasn’t been letting me make any comments on other videos. I think I got in trouble for speaking a little too openly abt my depression and I think that’s self explanatory as to what I said in the video. I want to re-edit it and upload it again - I’ll do my best :)
I’m trying to finish this video that I managed to edit but the beach ball of death has been staring at me for the past 20 minutes. I was so proud that I was able to get SOMETHING done 😔
Caroline
Hi guys ~
I have a new video to post and I will do so really soon. So much has been happening.
It’s nerve wracking for me to think my life is going pretty smoothly right now because I get so fearful of the next tumble down into the abyss. I know life is a rollercoaster but my highs are so high and my lows are so low; it’s so tiresome and I don’t want it to be like this anymore. I’m really concerned about the progress of my professional life, more specifically, the lack of its existence. I’m 23 and I haven’t moved up any sort of professional ladder and I have no work experience that I’d be willing to share with employers (I’ve been fired or quit on the spot of every job I’ve ever had). It prevents me from trying to get a new job because I don’t want it to be another failure. I can’t even hold down a normal waitress or retail job, much less a high pressure office job. I’m satisfied with who I am and the way I conduct myself with others, but on paper, I’m a mess. I basically have nothing to my name. I’m getting horribly depressed writing this. I guess it’s not worth it to get preoccupied with grand scheme things like this, as opposed to focusing on the here and now.
I really need to get a psychologist to move forward but it seems like no one talks about how difficult that is, especially when you literally can’t engage in many basic elements of life. I wish I was just someone down on my luck or going through a bad spell, but it really gets to me knowing that I’ve basically always been like this. I guess I’ll never improve if I continue to harp on the past. But I just…I can’t help it anymore.
Thanks for reading. <3
1 year ago | [YT] | 1
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Caroline
I’m an internet celebrity in my mind
1 year ago | [YT] | 2
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Caroline
Still practicing drag makeup! Idk how to do my lips still & I need to learn how to cover my brows. if you squint it looks good
1 year ago (edited) | [YT] | 1
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Caroline
Hi I’m really sorry I haven’t been uploading I just get really in my head and think “no one will even care to watch this”. I just need to follow my gut. I’ll upload today or tmrw <3
1 year ago | [YT] | 3
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Caroline
Pictures from my birthday!
1 year ago | [YT] | 7
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Caroline
Hi idk if this will even post but YouTube took down the video I uploaded on my birthday, and hasn’t been letting me make any comments on other videos. I think I got in trouble for speaking a little too openly abt my depression and I think that’s self explanatory as to what I said in the video. I want to re-edit it and upload it again - I’ll do my best :)
1 year ago | [YT] | 1
View 3 replies
Caroline
Stories like this are important to showcase, but I wish they would highlight how it’s impacting people like me and many others.
1 year ago | [YT] | 0
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Caroline
I’m trying to finish this video that I managed to edit but the beach ball of death has been staring at me for the past 20 minutes. I was so proud that I was able to get SOMETHING done 😔
1 year ago | [YT] | 1
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Caroline
Hi all I’m going to upload a video tmrw that I actually lightly edited! For all my fellow ADHD baddies 🫶
1 year ago | [YT] | 2
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