Ink Demon C

Hoiiiiii, just wanted to mention some stuff regarding my YT channel rn 🫴🐝

So.. I privatized a bunch of videos yesterday, because I always thought like "no way I'm taking them down, I've spent so much time on these", but now it kind of feels like they paint a wrong picture of me, if yk what I mean and like who cares? These are so old and cringy now.

However, while I did that I also looked through my analytics and I find it so funny to see the graph, that shows the amount of subscribers during all this time (Pic). You can clearly see the hype and support I got during 2020, especially in comparison to nowadays. Just wanted to say I love you all for it, thank you! Back then and nowadays. <3
I also have to mention how horribly often I uploaded "teasers" and "first episodes" of projects, which I've never even touched again xD Sad ngl, but in some cases.. also really good that I never continued them.

Though, my point is that I really don't know what to do with my channel anymore, other than just showing my artworks in the community tab lol.
I already thought about making time lapse videos, but I don't knowwwww.. it just feels so dead to me :< I dunno what to do with it 🔨

1 week ago | [YT] | 76

Ink Demon C

"Say.. did you happen to see a certain particular red-haired young man I'm looking for? No? What a terrible misfortune.."

He doesn't bite.. he tears :3

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2 weeks ago | [YT] | 112

Ink Demon C

Kinda important? Feel free to read 🫶🫧
↘️⬇️↙️
So.. I went through my first week (Monday to Friday) of work (apprenticeship or whatever it's actually called in English), which is also my first time to ever even work in the first place. So far it's really going fine, the people there are really nice and it's actually kinda fun so far. However, they do tell me that the tasks I need to do there, I do them very well so far, but at the same time this insane insecurity is getting to me everytime, that I'm doing something wrong and I'm genuinely just scared in general.
Due to all of that I also kinda need to find the right time to make artworks and stuff from now on. Like, I do have time for it, but I need to find the moments when I'll actually be motivated to do things and not just chill. Idk, I guess that'll take a little while and I also need to kinda fix my sleep schedule.. I ran on 4h of sleep every day this week lol.

Besides that, I'm in like.. "a giant art depression hole"? Lol.
It's like I can never meet the standards that I set up for myself, which makes me really unhappy about what I create, which usually ends up in me deleting all of it and feeling ashamed for what I already shared. Like.. I want "change"?
And just to make this clear, I don't mean to be rude or anything and I really do appreciate your kind and supporting words, but telling me that you like what I make regardless isn't going to fix anything. Furthermore telling someone (me) "I know how you feel" actually makes things worse, because nobody actually knows what someone else feels exactly. Especially for someone like me who struggles very badly to actually express their thoughts and feelings the way they actually mean it. Idk, it just makes me much more frustrated than it actually being helpful.
The only way to help myself is to actually.. like.. idk? I just need to do this on my own, yk?

Thank you all for reading and have a wonderful day 🫶🫧
(I hope I didn't forget anything :<)

3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 69

Ink Demon C

Naughty Boy ⛓️‍💥
"F u~.. once again" :>🫧

A little alt cozy outfit for Demon, which I find a little more fitting for him, considering my own style, but I like both :3
Who knows what the other chickens think of it x3

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1 month ago | [YT] | 184

Ink Demon C

It has been so long since I last did something with all my agents that I'm really thinking about redesigning them, but I'm scared that I'll go too overkill with it 😭
...or maybe that's a good thing? qwq

1 month ago | [YT] | 91

Ink Demon C

During a cozy day at Cody's place, they decided to make and eat sushi together~ 🫧

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1 month ago | [YT] | 203

Ink Demon C

<3

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1 month ago | [YT] | 221

Ink Demon C

I was thinking about making either an animation or artworks (idk yet) of Cody giving an interview or something and I wanted to feature some questions from others/followers in it. Soooo if you have any interview questions for the boy then share them in a comment pls :3💙

2 months ago | [YT] | 103

Ink Demon C

"Performing Through A Twisted View" ~ False Idol ⛓️‍💥

Would you want to see one of his shows/performances? owo
(A little alternative stage outfit for him :3)

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2 months ago | [YT] | 196

Ink Demon C

"H-Hey, what are you doing? You want some affection again? ... Silly tentacles~"
~🫧

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2 months ago | [YT] | 217