L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

New video in the other channel. here is the link

https://youtu.be/Pld5gR6wCWw

1 day ago | [YT] | 2

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

What a joy to see our Artemis 2 team back home and safe. The splash down was flawless a d beautifully done.

And what an honor to take part of positive history being made. Now i can say in my life time i saw humanity go back to the moon. And possibly beyond if future missions are successful as this one.

One of my greatest ideals when it comes to NASA is Flight Director Gene Kranz. He is a foundational figure of what nasa is today. I wish i could get a chance to meet him as he is still alive. I think it would be a chance of a life time to speak to a man i learned so much from.

I dug so dig in this rabbit hole that it felt like i was living and working along side this man back in the 60's and early 70's.

I listened to many of the tapes that NASA archives makes available of how he commanded himself and his team and was able to see what a true director and manager he was of his team.

He developed what NASA calls the Kranz Dictum which lives in the soul and spirt of NASA. "Tough and competent" essentially my understanding of it is that that you are responsible for all the good outcomes as well as the bad outcomes too. It's a message about accountability and holding one self to higher standards so that you learn from mistakes and you take every step possible in practice to avoid it from happening. Even though he didn't say it himself the movie Apollo 13 coined a phrase that is now the ethos of NASA and attributed to Gene for bringing Apollo 13 back against every odds stacked against them. That phrase is "failure is not an option". I hear someone interviewed say that if you are in that mind state your bond to reduce your chances of making a mistake.

Gene Kranz went through 2 of the agencies worst incidents. Apollo 1 test that killed three astronauts. And apollo 13 deemed the "successful failure" mission that kept the team up for days trying to return the team alive.

But these experiences only fortified NASA to deal better with the further incidents years later like the challenger shuttle and i believe it was Columbia shuttle that both ended in loss of astronauts. The teams then was equipped with set of procedures and processes from Gene to best handle these dire situations.

Listening to how he worked under pressure and kept his cool beyond exhausted was something i integrated into myself in many ways.

He may never know it but he helped me with some principle's that helped me become the best version of myself.

He was the key definition of stoic. Don't panic. Work the problem instead. Don't allow emotions to override your senses, stay calm and collected and focus on the job your hired for.

Truly and inspiration to me thats why i kept wishing i got to experience going to moon back then because i never expected we would go back.

And believe me i learned about this nee mission at the last second when a notification came across my screen talking about the space launch later in the day.

For me part of it is also pride to be able to say look at how far we've come where we have people out in space and safely returning home. It's also the unity i felt when for a small window we all shared in an event together! As one! Excited and proud! Many people had high emotions at the launch pad as i saw alot of eyes being wiped. Hugs being shared and people just being nice to each other. What tugged in my heart strings was the messages from the team in space. The visuals made me realize how we are all connected. And how if you zoom out enough you see how small we really are in comparison to the vastness of the universe and space. From the moon earth is tiny. Wr aren't as big as many of us believe we are. You zoom out enough you have what looks like billions of ants on the face of the earth. It grounded me in many ways. And in many ways it also showed me how sometimes little things get the best of me. Im so zoomed in and zoned out that i don't see whats stressing me in the grand scheme of things really isn't as entirely bad as i make it seem. We humans can work in such interesting ways sometimes lol.

Last thing i will say is that astronaut Jim Lovell was another icon of NASA. He was in the gemini missions before Apollo program even started. Unfortunately he passed last year. But NASA did get a message from him for the team before his passing and i bet to them it was profound to hear the late Jim Lovell fellow Gemini and Apollo astronaut that paved the way for Artemis 2 saying to the team he welcomed them to his backyard in the sky.

Artemis is a moment in my life i won't forget. This was truly amazing to experience. So cool! 👍

4 days ago | [YT] | 4

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

I thought that opening the curtains and figuring out truths would be exciting. The truths i figured out only crushed me at depressing it really is. Maybe it's my fault for digging into. And backing away to see how systems work at a very large scale.

One after the other the more i learned the more pain i felt. It is absolutely nothing like i thought it would be.

When talking to someone about it they said it was my fault i brought myself this self inflicted injury.

They said zoom in and focus on the small things you can influence not on the large things you have no control over.

To me thats counterintuitive because the large systems control the smaller systems. Ignoring it means that it will always remain broken.

But thats when i had to forcibly stop myself. The bigger system is too complex. And its complexities are so deep that its impossible to change even if i believe its broken.

I had to accept the system needs to remain broken and i needed accept that it'll be ok, even if that made no sense in my mind.

I often do that where i peal every layer of something down to understand it every which way possible.

Often times i just end up having to accept to leave things as they are because change needs to be beyond profound to take in all complexities and to make sure the change works.

It's difficult to know something is broken and still tell myself to accept it. It goes against my very own logic. Which states if its broken fix it first.

I told that person i was talking too that i just felt like retreating. Numbing myself to the core and creating a bubble so that within this bubble everything works and makes sense. If only so i remain sane.

He laughed and said let it go man. But i am an analytical person i can't just let it go. I told him give me 6 months ill get over it.

When ones own logical thinking clashes with the logical world, thats a very hard thing on the mind. It's why i often say i feel like im in a world not meant for me.

With that said, let me find a way to cheer myself up. That was hurtful to me to see the unfiltered truths. It really did bring me down. But ill be alright.

6 days ago | [YT] | 4

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

For the past 6 years what alot of people don't know, not even those close to me is that i have been living in chronic physical pain. Thats due to the severity of my leg situation and a health care system that doesn't want to fix it.

Recently it has worsen to the point where ive been on muscle relaxers and pain killers.

But knowing the medicines due carry a risk of heart attack and stroke i waned myself off of them and left them only for sever pain.

Im sitting here right now writing this with intense tail bone pain. This one really sucks. My right hip has an issue where in certain positions the pain it very bad. And my left lower leg and foot always remain on fire.

On my right leg the lower half has swelled out of control. It's covered nearly 80% of my whole foot. Mobility is restricted. And i cannot stand for more than a few minutes at a time with bad pains on that leg. The skin deteriorated, ill spear the details but lets just say there are a few opened wounds that won't heal. And infections has doubled. Im actually going to the doctor later today to get antibiotics again for the 5th time recently because no matter what infections find a way.

Worst part of all these infections carry a risk of turning septic and if that happens its an emergency and im off to the ER.

Because of my legs i cannot sleep well. I cannot turn. I must sleep in a sitting position. And this furthers all my weak joints to hurt more.

Waking up is nothing but pain.


All this while over the last three months i've actually lost over 40 pounds on the weight loss medicine im on.

I can barley manage to get my legs in my car as one leg is super weak. And pulling it up into the car sometimes does not happen on the first try i have to put the leg out and try again with all the power i have to force that leg up.

Then when i get to destination it's a fight to force a swollen leg out.

Because of my legs there are certain cloths i cannot wear. It just doesn't fit.

People look and comment and stare at my ugly legs. Its embarrassing.

And listen im not asking for pity. Im just showing why i've been less active on here.

Health has come first over the last 3 months. And thats been my primary focus.

Regardless of pain, normally i don't show it but it doesn't mean i don't feel it. But i still do get a walk in every single day. Get a little low impact work out every day.. even in pain. I still drive. I still get out and move about.

I do this because i don't want to lose the last bit of mobility i have left. Instead i want to work through pain and attempt to build strength to combat this.

If the health system failed me and i have to do this alone so be it!

But physical pain is what also gets me depressed and leaves me with sadness because im tired of pain i want it to leave and yet the system thats supposed to help is saying... figure it out yourself.

Videos will come. But being just a one man crew means that when something important comes up, videos have to wait. I don't have batched videos or a reliable system to remain consistent when im unable to film.

Hang with me friends. And thanks for taking a moment to read this!

1 week ago | [YT] | 8

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

If you celebrate it, Happy Easter! 🐇

1 week ago | [YT] | 8

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

If i had the money, i'd go to space to wave hello at everyone lol. You can't see me but i see the earth!

It's jaw dropping beautiful (the high quality high resolution photos i've seen are breath taking)

We take it all for granted.. till we get to see just how small we are in a universe so big!

I cant help it lol. Space is fascinating and i geek myself out on it every single time something drags me back to this subject.

If i was an astronaut in space i would constantly need to keep reminding myself "it's not a vacation, this is work" because it would never feel like it. 👍

1 week ago | [YT] | 8

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

I heard NASA say "we are one world" with a beautiful picture of Earth through the spaceship headed to the moon.

Truer words haven't been spoken. No matter how much we lose sight of it. The bigger picture as in compared to the size of the universe we are just a tiny little earth with humans in it.

Take away all our bias's and thoughts at the primitive basic level we are all the same!

What a positive message to take in! "We are one world". 👍 if only we could press reset and return back to this message and allow it to sink in just maybe there is a bit of hope that we all can be friends again and not enemies.

Because at the end no matter how much negativity we have for anyone they still share this very earth we live in. That will never change. I compare it to siblings arguing on a car ride. You can hate them all you want but chances are they aren't going anywhere. You can let that ruin the rest of the ride or choose to make peace. Regardless of choice though you will still have to deal with them regardless. See what i mean?

It was profound to see that image and think to myself if we just slowed down a little to back away and look at this earth we live just maybe we might appreciate it more than we do now. It's easy to take so much for granted. It's easy to be immersed in our own little world when in reality it's far bigger than whats directly in front of us.

I've seen pictures of the US from space, its hard to believe there are only a bit over 300 million people here. Lol. The US from space looks like it has alot more people in it. But for me it made realize how we are all neighbors on different spaces of huge shared land mass. The ground we walk on has no color, has no political party. No judgement. It's one piece of land shared by all of us.

We ourselves are the ones that make things about everything else. Our Prejudice, bias. Points of view, etc is not shared with the air we breathe or the ground we step on. It's just us. Self inflicted pain and injury. We fall into our own human made traps that only compounds and makes everything else worse and worse.

I saw this only from my perspective in deep thought. I have one proof i can give that when we put our own selves aside we can become one power together even if just for short while.

Everyone at the launch pad there is a good chance they were not talking about anything else other than what an experience it was to watch the spaceship go up into the sky.

Here on youtube i think NASA's live feed peaked at nearly 3 million people. Sitting and watching this together.

Im share several tv networks all brought this to millions more. And for a moment in time we did something as humans together, positively!

I had been wanting something positive to look forward to for so long now. But not just for me. But for all of us! This is why experiencing this means so much. It finally allowed me to decompress and feel good. And i just wanted to share this back with everyone else!

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend ahead!

1 week ago | [YT] | 7

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

It's interesting how one thing can lift up spirits. You may have not known this about me. But i find outer space fascinating. Ill admit i am a technical nerd lol. Technology is something i've been in all my life. And the tech required to get us to space is mind blowing. It would of been amazing (i would think) to work at NASA being part of revolutionary systems and being able to say yeah i helped build that.

When i saw the movie Apollo 13 i had to find the real life version of what actually happened even though the movie was technically accurate it is at the end still a movie and made for entertainment and the real life events wasn't that entertaining to watch.

So i was beyond excited when i learned that NASA keep a database of historical content including the tapes from the Apollo mission and video too.

I must of spent weeks hyper focused on each and listening to the tapes and seeing the videos it almost felt like i was there.

I was thinking to myself if only i can turn back the hands of time i would love to experience an event like that not knowing i'd get my wish many years later.

Funny how stuff works. And just overwhelmed me seeing how in so many ways this launch wasn't too far different from the one 50+ years ago. The suits are technically the same but modernized. The cabin is all high tech now. And unlike the 70's youtube gives us a 24/7 stream from NASA. Back then you could only catch it when the tv networks put them on air.

I was blown away to compare photos of the 70's with the modern space centers and see that in many ways the buildings still had a little peace of history in them. Especially the space suit fitting room which is still largely the same as it was in the 70's.

The unfortunate thing is that im glued to my phone now always listening in to what they are doing. A feature that was not possible in the 70s.

To someone like me who is fascinated by the outer space and am deeply ingrained with technology i could live in NASA and be happy for the rest of my life. Surrounded by all the cool stuff haha.

It dawned on me Houston is about a days drive away from me. When i have the possibility i might take a drive there. Check out the space center.

Im hoping i don't get too overly excited thats embarrassing. Mostly because its hard to control. And sometimes it gets me shedding a few tears due to overwhelm over the top excitement. Nobody wants to see a grown man walking around crying lol. Ill have to keep telling myself get a grip leo hold it together.

But emotional deregulation is a problem for me and its why i have a terrible time with feelings and emotions.

Alot of these things are in my radar but i have to wait till im able to get my leg surgery i need. These legs are in the worst condition yet. Chronic pain. I live with pain daily for the last several years. Its on my foot and its due to the tremendous pressure the excess weight puts on my feet. They aren't built to withstand it. And i wouldn't be surprised if at this point i have permanent nerve damage on my foot.

But once i get my surgery. It will drastically assist and i will have a lot less problems.

Its so bad even walking is very hard. But i must fight on.

I don't know if any of you are as fascinated by space as i am. But just wanted to share this as experiencing this launch helped me greatly.

It's soo cool to be distracted by something positive. (In my opinion)

1 week ago | [YT] | 9

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

In a few hours im going to try and watch the space launch on my phone. Had no idea NASA was sending the team back up to orbit the moon and return.

I assume this is a test flight probably to possibly have a landing later if it all goes alright!

Pretty cool stuff!!

1 week ago | [YT] | 6

L.T.W.A - Leo's Thriv With Autism

I know this is off topic. But wanted to share for anyone wondering..

Im studying business. And the more i learn the more depressed i get at how broken our entire corporate structure is.

My business if i can ever get it off the ground will never ever be publicly traded. Always a private business. No pressure from wall street and investors. Publicly traded companies become indebted to their investors. Meaning that if the investors aren't happy neither will you be and eventually they could even attempt to throw you out if they get even more unhappy. Going public is a great way to get money. But it's also a great way to ruin a good company. It's like selling the soul to the devil to get in return money. Im not ever going to do that.

Current US corporate structure basically has a core focus and that is how can it ramp up profits endlessly. And at any cost. Thats it. How can a company keep saying more and more and never stop. Thats how the companies are built.

1. US employees are too expensive. Fine, fire them and hire immigrant workers willing to accept a low ball unfair wage for the services you perform. For example i know what the market demands in pay for the position i work in. But i cannot force and demand it for the simply fact that the competition behind me will gladly accept it. This is how corporates force lower wages. The fine the work force willing to accept less then either force others to do the same or not be considered. So i cannot ever get paid what im worth and what my knowledge and expertise demands because there is always someone willing to accept less and as long as those people are in the market they ruin others chances of making what they rightfully deserve.

This in return lowers moral and creates a vast see of low quality workers because no one cares anymore.

People in my industry who do accept lower wages also work less and produce less quality. It goes hand in hand. You get what you pay for applies to employment. A company pays crap they will get crap back.

2. We are proud to be the fast paced nation of workaholic's. It's true. When i first entered the job market it worked like this. Right off the bat i had 2 weeks paid vacation and 1 week separate of sick time. I had a sign on bonus and incentives for taking the position. There used to often be bonuses paid and frequent raises. It was by all account an employee market. Companies fought to keep employees happy.

Today, i have one bucket for any and all time off and its earned at a rate of only 2 hours per paycheck meaning i work a full 30 days some months completing nearly 200 hours of work and im paid in return half a day off. If you don't have days off paid you can still take a day off but its unpaid. And do that enough times and your fired.

Back then i had medical insurance that was nearly 100% paid. Rarely did i get denied or have the delays we all have today. Employers cared about your health.

Today, people work sick. I've seen people with 103 degree fever i believe thats 40c working. Hacking up a lung in meetings but still there because they cannot afford to rest and get better. They need the money.

Back then, companies worked with you to retain you. I used to have companies that work increase my pay and benefits when i would try to resign just to keep me. If i did secure a new job they would offer above what the other company offered.

Today, the second they suspect you're looking to quit you are replaced. Even if thats with AI. No second thoughts.

Product quality is drastically lowered yet sold at much higher prices. Planned obsolescence is real. Products are on purpose made cheap to get you to buy more and more of it.

And businesses are structured in such a way to blow smoke and brainwash people so they don't see that they fell right into the trap that the companies built for them.

Services that appear free.. aren't. Your data is stolen from you for the perception of free services. They still make the money just in subtle ways you might not see.

Products have simple return processes but prices are adjusted and raised ever so slightly so people don't release that with every return they make a little more out of you.

Similar with cheap products. They are built on price adjust ments that most don't release. That or they are covered by a subscription offsetting loses.

The corporate landscape is built to ensure in so many ways that the poor stay poor and live check to check because thats how companies stay rich.

There is something also called dynamic pricing thats used more and more. For example a carton of milk for me could be 5 bucks. The exact carton for you is 7 bucks. And at the store its 3 bucks. Or dollars is what im referring too.

Companies profile us. They know your pressure points and how bad you need and want something. They know your true ability to spend. And they wait you out until you cave and spend and they win.

If my company takes off im not following any of these models. None. Ill have a strict policy of not collecting data unless your absolutely aware of it first and give your consent. You say no. Ill guarantee you that my company will never collect any of the information discussed or otherwise.

Im not using dynamic price models. Everyone gets the same prices.

Im not using algorithms to determine things. And make predictions. No im going on true data instead.

My company will be a disruptor for that very reason of breaking this entire system that does not work. Once people realize my company is built with them in mind. Their privacy fully respected. And all prices fair and not built to make extra money out of them im sure ill win over many peoples hearts for being a business that actually is positive and does something good for a change.

If i hire employees i will bring back old systems. I will allow a system where the employees invest and own stock in the company and make sure they are heard. Ill bring back bonuses and make sure that the living i provide is one that they can be comfortable with.

And unlike the rest of the companies out there i don't care one bit about being rich and famous and setting at the top. Ill just consider a comfortable wage for my single life and remain under the radar. The rest of my wages gets reinvested back into my employees and business.

Ill be the first CEO who won't make 400% times more than his employees. Instead ill have an open door policy and work with my employees.

My vision can work. Its just so incredibly hard to get it off the ground. But if somehow i am successful all the above will be reality. A company for the people and never for me. Im not selfish. And this is how im trying so hard to prove it.

I want to help the future generations. Not ruin thigs for them.

I hope i get that chance in this lifetime.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 9