The Life Of A Borderline

Welcome... I am a YouTuber/Vlogger/Blogger. I have been Blogging since 2005 & Vlogging since 2004 (pre-YT).

Since 2021, this channel has been a mix of both my personal life and the subjects, cases, and topics that interest me. You'll find both here - real-life experiences, struggles, thoughts, updates, and discussions about various subjects I'm passionate about (such as the Cobain Case, Lucid Dreaming, Etc).

My channel's name The Life Of A Borderline comes from my diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which is why I chose the channel name years ago. This channel isn't just about one thing - it's about life as it happens, the good and the bad, and the topics that have been part of my journey along the way.

• Zachary McQuaid

Any media inquiries or anything else - contact me at zackmc2021@gmail.com


The Life Of A Borderline

I really don’t like having to ask for help like this, but I’m struggling again right now.

I haven’t asked my subscribers for money to help me survive in a long time, but I’m currently waiting for my next YouTube payment and I just need enough food to get me through the next 8 days. After that, I should be okay.

I’m still stuck in an area I really don’t like, and I don’t like going outside here. Eventually I’ll be going back to my tents and continuing my YouTube work from there.

I’m only asking for enough to get through this difficult period. If anyone can help, even a small amount would mean a lot to me.

Thank you to everyone who supports me, watches my videos, and follows my work.

My PayPal is: zackmc2021@gmail.com

- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

1 week ago | [YT] | 18

The Life Of A Borderline

The murder didn't happen on the 5th and Kurt was never 'missing' until he was killed. The coroner was off by a day. It was Monday, April 4th.


Sunday, Courtney met with Tom, trying to locate Kurt. She didn't leave at all yet. Cali answered. Told Courtney Kurt was there (she likely already knew though - via Antonio Terry). So she knew Kurt was there early Monday morning still for sure though - because of Cali and Jessica telling her over the phone. Then later on that same early Monday morning, while it's still dark out, Jessica is hearing someone in the house walking with a purpose... Think about Jessica's statement.. and think about last days 2005... The person in heels is walking with a purpose.. and then you hear the words "listen... It's her!" This is all in the early morning hours of Monday April 4th. The murder occurs. Courtney, Mark, Dylan, Van. Cali was the betrayer and helping them, while playing both sides.

She then does an interview - apparently from her hotel room in LA. She can't stop crying uncontrollably (for some reason) - Obviously we know why now. Still Monday, though now way later on in the day time hours.

Also, the missing persons report is set up to make his death to look like a suicide right away... Same day still - Monday. Courtney calls for the electrician to do work on the house in the greenhouse on Tuesday April 5th. He cannot make it and has to reschedule for this 8th. Courtney knows she has until Friday before Kurt's body is finally located and he's no longer 'missing.

She flies back again before the body is discovered for sure by the electrician. Everything is still set. Mark and Dylan... she couldn't trust to get them to find the body with someone. They let her down on that - and obviously they did so purposely. I bet as drug addicts that they were super sketched out about bringing an ex police officer/private investigator to a dead body.. especially since they had killed the person.

Let's just say... If surveillance was set up at the house on Sunday night, though Courtney didn't want that... Well... We would know exactly what happened. Without trying to do too much research.

And now we are going into ... "Sunday night in the am.... 2:32... My trigger finger... All blistered and blue..."
'

She did the interview on Monday from her hotel room... She could have been anywhere though. If she did leave Seattle again, sometime in the week she flies BACK. Thursday night she is spotted there again and then she again flies back to LA. It's looking to me like she stayed there and only went back on the 7th. She then pretends to be suicidal and overdosing. Gets arrested with fake drugs on her. She knows the news will hit once the electrician she hired the next day goes there to the house. Again, Kurt was never actually 'missing' until he was killed - Monday, April 4th.

- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

1 week ago | [YT] | 47

The Life Of A Borderline

Courtney hunted Kurt down without waiting for him to call and explain anything to her. As soon as staff found out that Kurt left Exodus, they told Courtney... And they told Courtney before Kurt had even placed his missed call to her. Shortly after he left, she knew she had to go back to Seattle. The hotel was then used as her alibi... She wasn't STILL there though. She was only checked in as being there during certain times still. Not was she enjoying herself at a nice concert, being all relaxed and having a lot of fun. That is the exact opposite of what she was actually doing.

- Zack

1 week ago | [YT] | 38

The Life Of A Borderline

The Setup: Courtney’s Deception and Detective Terry’s Unwitting Role

Detective Terry actually spoke with Kurt in the mansion - either on Saturday, April 2nd, or on Sunday, April 3rd - and unknowingly tipped off a killer by revealing the victim's location. Courtney, wanting Kurt located the exact moment he left rehab, kept her murderous intentions a secret from Terry. She used him as an innocent proxy to track down her target. Because Terry was at the house on Sunday and reported back to Courtney, he inadvertently held the key to exposing her entire web of lies. Courtney knew Kurt wasn't actually missing, but she was telling a completely different story to the police and the media. If Terry stayed alive, he absolutely would have realized that Courtney was lying.

The House on Sunday: The Confirmation

Courtney desperately wanted detailed, absolute confirmation that Kurt was back at the house. Even though Cali was taking her orders, Courtney did not fully trust him and refused to rely solely on his word. To get the truth, Courtney used Terry to interview Kurt and report back. Terry had no clue that his questions were designed to track Kurt's location and desires, nor did he know that his report would send Courtney into a murderous rage. However, because Terry witnessed the truth on Sunday - and because other people at the house, like Joe, saw him there - he became a massive liability. Silencing Terry made perfect sense for Courtney to protect her lie.

Cali’s Betrayal: The Snake in the House

While this was happening, Cali played a dangerous double game. He acted like an annoyed victim to the other houseguests, complaining about Courtney's constant phone calls, when he was actually taking her direct orders. While the others were actively trying to hide Kurt from Courtney, Cali was the one who orchestrated the confrontation. Cali's job was to keep everyone calm so they wouldn't get spooked and flee before Courtney arrived. He successfully hid the fact that Courtney was on her way from Joe and the others. Cali only openly turned against Kurt when the attack physically began. Even after the murder, Cali continued to act like a snake, tightly hiding his involvement - drawing a direct parallel to how Dylan operated at the time.

- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 39

The Life Of A Borderline

The truth has been hijacked by Chris Todd (Todd Guzze). My work with Joe is done. You will not know the full truth about Kurt Cobain's murder via Chris Todd and Joe Burns.


- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

4 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 34

The Life Of A Borderline

Just Being Honest

I know I've asked for help before, and I really don't like having to ask again. The money people helped me with last time got me back home, and I even sold my bicycle trying to get by.

But now I'm back in Toronto and I'm basically starting over again. I'm struggling with basic necessities and just trying to get by.

The thing is, I could have taken a lot of money from people involved with the Cobain case, but I refused because I wasn't willing to say things or push a version of the story that I didn't believe was true. I could have made things a lot easier for myself, but I'd rather struggle than sell out what I actually believe.

I've been putting everything I have into the videos and trying to keep doing this genuinely. I just don't have much left right now.

So I'm asking again. If anyone can help me out, even a little bit would mean a lot. And if you can't, I completely understand.

Thank you to everyone who's supported me. I really do appreciate it.

It is absolutely stupid and so frustrating though that I would have enough money right now if I were to alter the truth about what happened to Kurt Cobain... I'd be right beside some people on podcasts and more people would know about my channel. What a f****** world. I don't like how it is setup to be.

If I did want to willingly lie to all of you.... I would have Chris Todd on my side right now..... Michelle would be my friend.... Rachel would be my friend..... And Patrick would be my friend.... And and all of you would not see a single problem between any of us. Everything would be absolutely perceived as perfect. And they would think it's amazing that i'm friends with someone that was friends with Kurt..... And if they wanted me to keep the connection.... They would make sure that I went along with what they wanted to do. Nothing else. Even if it means lying. F*** you. Yeah I'm going to lie about your friend. No I'm not. You shouldn't either. I don't believe Kurt had any friends. I'm so f****** sorry to even say that. This world was too shitty for Kurt Cobain and Kurt Cobain was too good for this world. I keep realizing that.

- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

PayPal: zackmc2021@gmail.com

4 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 25

The Life Of A Borderline

I really need help in getting back to my apartment... Any help helps. I'll be isolating there and focusing on creating alot of content... I have a lot of come back content to get onto. Can't do this out here. Every day is survival like this.

PayPal: zackmc2021@gmail.com

I'm going after Courtney. I don't care what Chris or anyone else wants to do. I have leverage to do so... I could be very wealthy right now. I turned down Chris' money supply just as Harvey Ottinger did. I could be living a lot better right now if I purposely lied to all of you about certain aspects of the Cobain case. I refuse to ever do that though. I'd rather seem pathetic this way than be lying to any of you or spreading any misleading info on PURPOSE.

Been through a lot since 2019... Have a read at a lot of it on the page below;
darkfalls.jimdofree.com/zack-s-legal-cases/

- Zack

Joe & I 👇 - That is what you all really wanted all these many years of searching for the truth.

https://youtu.be/iy6uW9gZYnM?si=sj1LC...

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 18

The Life Of A Borderline

If anyone wants to be rude, they just will not be allowed to comment on this channel anymore. Sorry but that's it. No arguing or anything. No bad vibes. Just blocked from commenting. Luckily I have a few others that can do so for me as well. If you want to comment on this channel still, please don't be rude.

1 month ago | [YT] | 33

The Life Of A Borderline

Wow Tom. Wow. You, Courtney, Mark, Dylan, Van, and Gina. Wow. I just got some information today that I never knew about. Now we know a new name. Wow... And she is an associate of both Courtney and Tom. You were such a hero to me back in 2014. You made me stick around in my early 20s and not feel like unaliving myself, because that's what I had thought had happened to Kurt. Shame on you Tom Grant. You know exactly what I'm referencing to right here. Keep sharing videos of kittens and videos that reveal how you are a nice christian man. Shame on you. A Christian tells the truth. Does not hide it.


Note - I'm finding out more about you Gina. I will do it all on my own if I need to. You read me? Do so correctly. This case is very personal to me. I attempted my own life over this case back in 2017. It was very scary what I started to experience on the other side. I really f@cking mean that. Luckily I survived that. Not lucky for you. Not lucky for any of you. You are going down. All of you. Not me.

- Zack

2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 45

The Life Of A Borderline

Please hype this post everyone! It is VERY VERY IMPORTANT! (IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE ACTUAL TRUTH).

From the book Everybody Loves Our Town by Mark Yarm. The knowledge of the 3rd individual comes from Van Conner himself. He was the 3rd person who was driving Dylan and Mark around on Sunday, going into Monday and onwards (after the murder). He also looks strikingly familiar to Daniel Clint Rich. Very much so. This all came from Van himself. Tom Grant was even calling Van. Again - ALL OF THIS INFORMATION COMES FROM VAN CONNER HIMSELF. DO MORE RESEARCH CHRIS TODD - THENNNN DO INTERVIEWS AND THENNNNNNN WRITE ANOTHER BOOK. After the deep diving! Not BEFORE so! Or have you, and are you just plainly covering for someone?

Stating that Danny was the third individual is covering up Courtney's involvement that night and going into the early morning hours of Monday, April 4th. They are also covering Courtney's involvement by pinning the person in the red dress as being Mark Lanegan. Who is? Chris Todd and Joe Burns (a now compromised eye witness). There is your current Cobain case cover up.

Yes, Danny has involvement in getting Courtney there... but they are trying to spin that so that Courtney's name and involvement does not get brought up. Tom Grant was even calling Van on Sunday, and the days onward. By saying Danny was the third individual you are dismissing what actually happened. Dismissing Danny's actual role and COURTNEY'S ACTUAL ROLE. Danny only brought Courtney there. Even pinning the person in the red dress as being Mark Lanegan... They are again clearly covering for Courtney Love.

Now I just really hope that people snapshot these posts... because they are very important if you want the actual truth.

- Zack (The Life Of A Borderline)

#KurtCobain #VanConner #MarkLanegan #DylanCarlson #TheScreamingTrees #TomGrant #DanielClintRich #MarkYarm #EveryBodyLovesOurTown

2 months ago (edited) | [YT] | 32