Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

What manipulating the narrative to make true acts of abuse sound like delusional thinking looks like.

1 week ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

So basically, people set way too high of expectations for me, and then get mad at me for not meeting those expectations.
So then I start treating myself the way I am treated by people I can't cut out due to. Them not deserving to die about me.
And then they claim that I am the person hurting myself with my own thoughts.

But it's not my thoughts, it's how I'm being treated. Right now.

For no reason other than other people being abusive.

And maybe YOU don't think those toxic things about me. Maybe you actually are very angry that people literally say and think these things about me. And you want to blame me for expressing out loud how this particular abuse type I'm experiencing makes me feel you must justify your mistreatment of me and my child.

My child is only seperate at the moment because of you stalking and abusing women that told you no or told you you hurt them intentionally to try and obtain something from them.

You targetting me, my vehicle(property you fraudulentlyclaimed was indebted to you, and money as well), my protected addresses, my medical records, my court documents, my schooling, and my child is what's abusive to me and my child.

This is called victim retaliation. Any one contributing to the issues I've spoken up about is potentially guilty by association.

And I sort of kind of get to decide that based off of historic evidence.

By the way, his lawyer or someone stole evidence from the evidence that was released to me.

A lot of it.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 1

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

You think I'm annoying?

All that time you are annoyed at my chatter, I'm internally at war with myself in an attempt to stop talking.

I am constantly overstimulating everyone else without ever noticing I am overstimulated myself unless I'm in immediate mom mode. Which seems to be losing its dire role in my wellbeing and self-respect.

I sound like I feign pain or trauma for attention.
I wish I were.
Hi, I'm really a person in here. This flesh prison isn't usually terrified of everyone... well it wasn't before I... became fully disabled....

I was ironically driven just about crazy by injustice. By not being able to give my child justice, let alone myself or even deserve it. Ouch.

It was hilarious of me to choose optimism in the most crucial time, and it would be the critical error.

Perhaps this is my karmaic dessert. Maybe I did this to myself.

Sure felt like a targeted, multi-faceted retaliation against me because societies warped ass scales of justice.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

As someone who doesn't get high:

People don't want to get high enough to die,
just enough to be distracted from pain.

They know it's not a cure but a temporary relief for their life turned ailment.

I am addicted to oxygen, and various purity levels of water. Filthy water. Okay, coffee or tea....

I am also addicted to raising and teaching a better humanity, regardless if you keep my star pupil(s) away from me.

That all being said.

What's causing so much pain in society that we are in such an economic inequality?!?

Why are so many people suffering the trauma and pains of houselessness that they finally give into their peers' most esteemed form of escapism: deadly substances to abuse.

Think about how much chronic pain you have to be in, for a temporary high as the sole source of synthetic relief.


In short.

Depression, oppression, and poverty create pain.

Pain is bad.

Why are so many people advocating for pain of their fellow American, and not liberty, freedom, amd prosperity?

Fuck "sides" I see the whole picture. And it's gruesome.

I'm having to question whether or not my fellow Americans are being terminated by my government while simultaneously fearing my government may attack me for questioning the gravity of such a matter. Questioning media. Questioning motive. Questioning....

I'm absolutely mourning reality with no fantasy of my own to escape to and I ran out of books again.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

Why does the internet, internationally, prey on the pleasure and desires of men, if the wealth distribution is equal? Either we collectively believe males are easier to scam and therefore unfit to lead nations, OR WE KNOW MEN MAKE MORE THAN WOMEN IN EVERY SINGLE NOOK AND CRANNY OF OUR ECONOMY, except when that fact doesn't soothe the ego of the person talking. Why is it always "sexy singles near you," with a near nude woman advertisement for you to spend money on viewing or time pirating the images to... or obtaining pleasure from viewing/interacting with? Hoping you'll click out of even just basic curiosity, or loneliness...

Like. Have ANY OF YOU seen an advertisement of like a beefcake chad in your area looking to cater to your needs for just a couple cents? A dollar for a 3 minute video??

Like.... if we had a fair economy.... the advertisements wouldn't be just objectified women automatically on every IP of every device on the internet....

They don't expect the LGBTQA+ to fall for the sexy ladies. They don't expect women to bait their loneliness by bating to the internet.


No. They know men make more and the most money.


And how did they compete with male centric advertising?!??

Alcohol: liquid courage, she puts out better that way.
Or:
Pay to win games and apps, the easiest way to get children and elderly people who aren't swayed by boobs to accept this freebie of fine print thats actually a subscription so hard to cancel, it gets it own photo in the family photo album of data you'll lose if you ever try cancelling it!


And the ever popular: have some stuff thatbwe say is free, but we're actually stealing your data and charging you import taxes to advertise us to all of society sonthey download the app and pyramid scheme society into total data acquisition by, literally everyone.

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

What's this community for?

I'm realising that my disorder may make me too disabled to be a lucrative anything, especially a content creator or teacher. The FOF inducing one.

So yeah. If you be following me, I do be appreciating you sticking around and am sorry if my videos are out of pocket for you!

Love you, sincerely, and I'm proud of you! Have a beautiful day!

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

Hello, please refer to mastadon.social to find me.

I am Mage of Chaos there.

Okay bye.

4 months ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

It's not five types of hats.

4 months ago | [YT] | 0

Mage of Chaos, Sgt.

youtube.com/shorts/nq2BiSucP_...

Nah, money is what people hurt me to get from the government by saying they need it to keep me alive. So. The fact that my life's worth is purely out of the financial deficit I have become to the government is extremely... distressing and making my will to live sooooooooo much more feeble. Lmfao.

I hate money but for whatever reason being permanently disabled means I need a shit ton of it, but am not allowed to be given enough of it to survive, AND ON TOP OF THAT, if my temporary disability from other circumstances on top of the pre-existing disability make me incapable of doing what I need to to address the situation I just don't deserve to get the kind of help necessary, and instead get the help that profiteers off of creating or worsening this situation of me being temporarily MORE disabled than I was.

They choke you out with poverty and then tell the government you need more money for them to pocket. Lmfao.

I am worth less because I am a Gross Net Negative in value to the economy, regardless of how many billions have been made off of the ideas stolen from me and my labor.

Lmfao.

"Hate money? Well then we're going to take it away from you, you ingrate! Go back.to work and get more disabled from the hateful and obsessive behavior of members in society again, you stupid bitch." -Society, angry about the taxes that I over paid thousands in my entire life.

Lmfao.

"Free health care?!?!?! How dare you!!!" Rught keep making it too expensive for your fucking grandma to afford hwr medication and medical needs AND pay rent until she's living on the streets or a shelter due to medical debt cutting into her fucking rent and food money!!!!

This society is designed to make you need an unreasonable amount to survive, so you hope instead to die.

And DON'T FUCKING TELL ME TO CALL THE CRISIS LINE OR GET THERAPY, YOUR TACES CAN'T AFFORD IT AND NEITHER CAN MY GROCERY BILL!

4 months ago | [YT] | 0