85Mako - Invidious

“May the hand of the devil strike you down before long — you are destroying this country. Damn you — every breath you take.”

Once more a fellow American life is taken by those meant to protect us. Is this the rights of man? Our forefathers let us inherit this country as a shining beacon of hope. And now our father's descendants are killing one another. Dear God what will we do? How can we stop those in power?

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 0

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85Mako

Hey guys.
I just wanted to say..
Thank you for the 500 subscribers. I know most of them came from that one video. But I still mean it.
I would make a 500 subscriber video but I'm very depressed at the moment. Maybe it's just seasonal depression, or it's something subconsciously nagging at me. Regardless, I hope this isn't too big of a let down.

I've been battling with depression for years now. Pretty much my entire childhood was cooked going in and out of mental facilities. Recently it's been hitting me like a truck. I wish I could explain it to more people. Especially my close ones. But that's just not an option for me. This channel has been a great outlet to post funny videos from the animes that have helped distract me from this sadness.

There's so many aspirations I have. Yet for reasons I cannot talk about here I'm extremely limited in what I can do. I really just want to see the world. Not too long ago I finally escaped my nihilism. But yet, once more, I'm here falling down the same path of agony. I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve such a life. A life tormented by people time and time again.

When one of your best friends tells you that you have had one of the most unluckiest lives they'd ever seen. That tells you all you need to know about someone.
I wish there was something more for me instead of drifting aimlessly through my own thoughts. I'm tired of having to act a certain way around certain people. Walking on eggshells with my emotions to avoid arguments. A man can only take so much before death is his final option. And unfortunately day after day I feel as though I'm closer to my last breath.

Absurdism saved me. But now I'm lost inside my self again. Realizing no one can understand me. That you cannot confirm someone else's existence no matter how hard you try. I'm only me. Because I'm the only one who can see through my own eyes.

This is the philosophical standpoint I find myself thinking about every single night. And even if I don't agree with it. For some reason I know it's true. I just, I just want to be something. Do something. Achieve something. Even if it's small. Sure I've gained mental resilience. But besides that, I have nothing to show for myself. Though I know there's alternatives to suicide. I still find myself thinking about committing time and time again. I just can't tell anyone. Or I'll be sent to a facility once more. Where I have to endure worse pain than living. Where I see kids get overdosed on sedatives. And literal riots break out. I don't feel the horror of being beaten defensively on the floor like I once felt before. As a child I'm told to let go. As a man I can't any longer. That fear terrifies me. I find more comfort in being stabbed than being beaten like that with no way to defend myself. It's terrifying.

1 month ago | [YT] | 1

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85Mako

Pattern Recognition

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 1

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85Mako

Might be a little farfetched.
But this is time stamp 18:47 in episode 1 of serial experiments lain. Is it just me, or does this look like the eye of Horus / Eye of Re?

Eye of Re or Ra represents the Sun and Power.
Whilst the Eye of Horus represents Protection and Healing.
The eye of Ra is branded by Ra the God of Sun, and Kings.
He ruled the created world the sky, the earth, and the underworld.

Perhaps you get the similarities.