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9 Real Costs of Divorce Nobody Counts Until It Happens - Bisi Adewale

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1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

1‎12 Signs You’re Parenting Alone in a Two-Parent Home - By Bisi Adewale

‎Marriage is a partnership. Parenting is supposed to be teamwork. But what happens when you are married and still feel like a single parent? What happens when the weight of raising the children, correcting them, praying over them, attending school meetings, and even just remembering their birthdays is solely on your shoulders?
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‎Unfortunately, many people are married but parenting alone. It is one of the most silent and painful struggles in many homes today, and it doesn’t just affect the one carrying the load. It affects the children, the marriage, and the emotional health of the entire family.
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‎Let’s talk about 12 clear signs that you may be parenting alone, even though you’re in a two-parent household:
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‎1. You're the Only One Disciplining the Children
‎If you're the only one correcting the children, teaching them values, or enforcing boundaries, you're not co-parenting, you're solo-parenting. When one parent plays both "good cop" and "bad cop," resentment builds and the children get confused.
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‎2. School Activities and Appointments Fall on You
‎From PTA meetings to doctor’s appointments, if your spouse is always “too busy” or uninterested in showing up, you're doing it alone. Children notice who shows up for them.
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‎3. You Make All the Decisions About the Kids
‎When you’re the only one thinking about the children’s school, clothes, spiritual life, friendships, and future — that’s not parenting together. That’s management by one person in a two-person company.
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‎4. Your Partner Sees Childcare as “Your Job”
‎Some spouses believe caring for the children is a mother’s role or a father’s duty, depending on their upbringing or culture. But children need both parents actively involved, not one as a spectator.
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‎5. You're Always Emotionally Drained
‎You feel tired, not just physically, but emotionally. You're constantly making sacrifices, juggling schedules, and putting out fires while your spouse relaxes or stays uninvolved. That is the loneliness of solo parenting in a shared space.
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‎6. You Get Blamed for Everything That Goes Wrong
‎If your spouse is quick to point fingers but never lifts a hand to help, then they are not truly present. Real parenting is more than observation, it's participation.
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‎7. Your Children Naturally Run to You for Everything
‎It may look sweet on the surface, “Mummy, mummy,” or “Daddy, daddy” but it may be a sign that they see you as the only emotionally available parent.
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‎8. No Shared Responsibility with Homework or Discipline
‎If your partner is always on the couch or on their phone while you’re helping with homework, breaking up sibling fights, or teaching life lessons, you're parenting alone.
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‎9. You Feel Invisible and Unappreciated
‎You cry sometimes at night, not because you’re weak, but because you’re tired of being strong for everyone. You carry the weight of the home, yet no one acknowledges your sacrifice. That pain is real.
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‎10. Your Spouse is Always “Busy” When Parenting is Needed
‎They have time for football, business, social media, and friends, but not for bedtime stories or parent-teacher meetings. Priorities speak louder than promises.
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‎11. You’re Always the Bad Guy
‎When you discipline, you're the “wicked” one, while your spouse tries to win favor by being the “fun parent.” This not only undermines your authority, but it tears the parenting structure apart.
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‎12. You’ve Lost Hope of Getting Help
‎Perhaps you've complained, cried, begged, prayed, shouted, and still nothing changes. So, you’ve quietly accepted your role as the “only present parent.” That hopelessness is a red flag.
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‎Dear Parent, You Are Not Alone
‎If this article describes your reality, I want you to know: God sees your silent tears. You are doing more than anyone knows, and your labor is not in vain. But it doesn’t have to stay this way.
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‎What You Can Do:
‎Communicate Clearly: Let your spouse know how their absence is affecting you and the children, not with anger, but with honesty.
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‎Pray Together: Invite God into your parenting partnership. Prayer softens hearts and renews commitment.
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‎Seek Counseling: Sometimes, you need a third party to help you both understand your roles again.
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‎Set Boundaries: Don’t keep carrying all the load because it’s easier. Invite your spouse into the process, even if it means things won’t be done “your way.”
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‎Involve Them Gradually: Assign small responsibilities and appreciate any effort, no matter how little. Praise builds participation.
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‎To Singles Reading This:
‎Don’t just choose a lover, choose a partner in parenting. Ask yourself: “Will this person be present, involved, and emotionally available for our future children?” Beauty fades. Character sustains a home.
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‎Let’s Talk
‎Have you ever felt like you were parenting alone in your own home?
‎What advice do you have for others in this position?
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‎©️Bisi Adewale
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‎#love #viral #viralpost #bisiadewale
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1 week ago | [YT] | 2

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

7 Costly Mistakes Couples Make When They Refuse to Go Beyond Marriage - Bisi Adewale

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1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎10 Healthy Ways to Manage Conflict in a Relationship - Bisi Adewale
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‎Conflict is not always a sign of a bad relationship, it is simply a sign that two different people are learning to walk together. Even the best of couples will not always agree, because no two people are the same. What makes the difference is how conflict is handled. Some quarrels bring people closer, while others push them apart forever.
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‎As a marriage clinician, I have seen too many relationships end in pain, not because of the conflict itself, but because the people involved lacked the wisdom to handle it. Singles, listen carefully: the way you manage conflict in your relationship is one of the strongest indicators of the kind of marriage you will eventually build. This is why you must learn these skills before you say “I do.”
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‎Here are 10 healthy ways to manage conflict in a relationship:
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‎1. Communicate Calmly
‎Shouting never wins an argument, it only creates more distance. When you raise your voice, your partner raises their defense. But calm communication shows respect and maturity. Learn to express your feelings with gentle words. It is not weakness; it is strength under control.
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‎2. Listen to Understand, Not to Reply
‎Many people are guilty of hearing words but not the heart behind them. They listen only to prepare their comeback. That is not listening—it is debating. When your partner is upset, pause, and truly try to understand where they are coming from. Listening is love in action.
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‎3. Attack the Problem, Not the Person
‎Conflicts turn destructive when people begin to attack personalities instead of issues. “You are lazy” cuts deeper than “I felt hurt when you didn’t keep your promise.” Deal with the issue at hand, not with your partner’s identity. Words spoken in anger can leave scars for years.
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‎4. Choose the Right Time
‎Not every problem should be solved immediately. Sometimes, wisdom is waiting until both hearts are calm. When you argue in the heat of anger, you throw words you will regret later. Timing is not avoidance, it is maturity.
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‎5. Say “I’m Sorry” Quickly
‎Many relationships collapse because of pride. Apologies don’t reduce you; they increase the value of your love. When you realize you were wrong, or even when you were misunderstood, say “I’m sorry.” That simple phrase has saved more relationships than endless explanations.
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‎6. Forgive Easily
‎Unforgiveness is like carrying a bag of stones on your back, you get weaker every day. If you cannot forgive in courtship, marriage will be unbearable. Love cannot survive without forgiveness. Don’t keep a record of wrongs; let go so you can grow.
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‎7. Keep Third Parties Out
‎Running to friends, siblings, or social media every time there is conflict is dangerous. Outsiders may give you biased advice that destroys trust. Handle your matters privately, with maturity. Protect your relationship from gossip and interference.
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‎8. Think “We,” Not “Me”
‎Selfishness is the fertilizer of conflict. When you approach issues only from your personal comfort, you blind yourself to your partner’s feelings. Shift from “my problem” to “our challenge.” Unity in thought breeds unity in solution.
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‎9. Respect Differences
‎No two people are exactly alike. You may be expressive, while your partner is reserved. You may love planning, while they prefer spontaneity. Respecting these differences will reduce unnecessary quarrels. Instead of fighting over your uniqueness, celebrate it.
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‎10. Invite God Into the Process
‎A relationship without God will struggle to manage storms. Prayer softens hearts and creates room for forgiveness. When you pray together, you are not just inviting God into your conflict—you are building a spiritual shield around your relationship.
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‎Why Singles Must Learn This Now
‎Dear singles, hear me clearly: the way you manage conflict in courtship will shape the kind of marriage you will have tomorrow. If you keep sweeping issues under the carpet or handling them with anger, you are only preparing for a painful future. But if you learn healthy conflict management now, you are laying a foundation for peace and joy in marriage.
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‎That is why I wrote 23 Smart Ways to Choose a Life Partner. This book is not just another relationship guide; it is a roadmap for singles, leaders, and counselors who want to build lasting marriages. It will open your eyes to hidden dangers in relationships, show you how to recognize true compatibility, and save you from avoidable regrets.
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‎Don’t wait until conflicts destroy your joy before you seek wisdom. Prepare today.
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‎Order for your copy here: https://bisiadewale.selar.com/choosingalifepartnerseries
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‎If you found this helpful, share it with someone today, because many singles needs this to choose right.
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‎©️Pastor Bisi Adewale
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‎#bisiadewale #viral #wisdomforsingles #Familyboostersministry
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1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎‎12 Common Mistakes Christian Parents Make Even in Good Homes - Bisi Adewale
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‎Parenting is one of the greatest privileges God has entrusted to us. It is also one of the greatest responsibilities. Children do not come with a manual; they are precious souls placed in our care, and what we do, or fail to do, shapes their future.
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‎Many Christian parents truly love their children and desire the best for them. They provide food, shelter, education, and even take them to church faithfully. Yet, even in good homes, mistakes are made, sometimes unintentionally, that leave scars on the hearts of children.
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‎Parenting is not about perfection; it is about awareness and intentionality. When we know the common mistakes parents make, we can prayerfully avoid them and raise godly, balanced children who will shine their light in this dark world.
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‎Here are 12 common mistakes Christian parents make, even in good homes:
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‎1. Equating Church Activities with Godliness at Home
‎Many parents assume that if their children attend church, join the choir, or go to Sunday school, then all is well. But godliness begins at home. A child who prays in church but never sees prayer in the family may begin to live a double life.
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‎Practical Example: A boy who always sees his parents fighting at home but sees them lift their hands in worship in church will grow up confused, believing Christianity is a show, not a lifestyle.
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‎2. Prioritizing Success Over Character
‎Some parents push their children hard to excel in academics, sports, or business, but neglect character formation. A child who is a first-class student but lacks integrity will struggle in life.
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‎As parents, let’s remember: God is not impressed with certificates if the heart is far from Him. Train your children to value honesty, kindness, and humility more than achievements.
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‎3. Not Listening to Their Children
‎Many parents are quick to talk but slow to listen. When a child tries to express himself and is shut down with, “Keep quiet, you’re just a child,” that child will eventually stop talking.
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‎Even Christian homes suffer from this mistake. Your child may not always be right, but listening shows respect and opens the door for deeper connection.
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‎4. Comparing Them with Other Children
‎Comparison is one of the greatest wounds parents inflict on their children. Saying, “Why can’t you be like your brother?” may look harmless, but it plants seeds of inferiority and resentment.
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‎Remember, God made each child unique. Celebrate their individuality, even if their gifts are different from what you expected.
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‎5. Using Fear Instead of Love to Control Them
‎Some parents confuse discipline with intimidation. They use shouting, threats, or harsh punishment to keep their children in line. Fear may produce outward obedience for a while, but it breeds rebellion in the heart.
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‎God calls us to correct in love, not in wrath. Discipline should guide, not break a child’s spirit.
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‎6. Neglecting Emotional Bonding
‎Many Christian parents provide materially but forget emotional closeness. A child with toys, good clothes, and even Bible verses on the wall can still feel unloved if mom and dad never hug, never listen, and never say, “I love you.”
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‎Children who don’t feel loved at home will look for it outside, sometimes in dangerous places. Don’t just feed their stomachs—feed their hearts.
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‎7. Over-Spiritualizing Everything
‎Yes, we must raise our children in the fear of God. But some parents dismiss genuine struggles by saying, “Just pray, you’ll be fine,” instead of offering real guidance.
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‎When a teenager says he feels depressed, don’t just say, “You need more faith.” Pray with him, but also talk, counsel, and if necessary, seek professional help. Faith and wisdom must walk hand in hand.
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‎8. Failing to Model What They Preach
‎Children learn more from what we do than what we say. If you tell your children not to lie, but they hear you lie on the phone, they will copy your actions, not your words.
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‎In Christian homes, hypocrisy is one of the fastest ways to push children away from God. Be the Bible your children can read daily.
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‎9. Not Allowing Them to Ask Questions
‎Some parents mistake curiosity for rebellion. When children ask difficult questions about faith, sex, or life, many parents shut them down out of fear or shame.
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‎But unanswered questions don’t disappear; they go underground, where the world or the internet will answer them wrongly. Encourage questions. Guide with Scripture and wisdom.
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‎10. Living in Quarrel as Couples
‎One of the greatest mistakes Christian parents make is assuming their marital conflicts don’t affect the children. Children may not say it, but when they see constant arguments, silent treatments, or bitterness, they absorb the tension.
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‎Practical Example: A little girl who always sees her parents shouting may begin to think marriage is a battlefield, not a blessing. That seed can shape her future relationships.
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‎11. Not Preparing Children for the Real World
‎Some parents shield their children so much that they grow up naïve, unprepared for challenges. While protection is good, overprotection is harmful.
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‎If your child cannot handle rejection, failure, or responsibility, life will become overwhelming. Teach them resilience, problem-solving, and how to trust God through trials.
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‎12. Neglecting Family Devotions
‎In many Christian homes, family prayers gradually disappear as life gets busy. But family altars are where spiritual fire is transferred from parents to children.
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‎Skipping devotions may look harmless, but it leaves children spiritually weak. A home that prays together builds an unshakable foundation.
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‎Final Word
‎Dear parents, God has given us a sacred assignment, to raise children who will love Him and serve their generation. Parenting is not just about giving food or paying school fees. It is about shaping souls, modeling Christ, and leaving a legacy of faith.
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‎Even in good homes, mistakes happen. But with awareness, humility, and prayer, we can do better. Let us not only raise successful children, but godly ones.
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‎Hold your children close. Listen to them. Pray with them. Guide them in love. And may the Lord give us the wisdom to raise sons and daughters who will bring Him glory.
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‎If this article touched your heart, share it with other parents. Many good homes are struggling silently because of these mistakes. Together, let’s raise a new generation for Christ.
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‎©️ Pastor Bisi Adewale
‎Follow me here for daily wisdom on parenting.
‎Please share this, it may save a child from silent scars.
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‎#ParentingWisdom #MarriageWisdom #PastorBisiAdewale #WisdomForparents
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1 week ago | [YT] | 1

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎15 Dangerous Consequences of Premarital Sex Nobody Talks About - Bisi Adewale
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‎In today’s world, premarital sex is often painted as “normal,” “fun,” or even a “proof of love.” Sadly, what many singles are not told is that behind the momentary pleasure lie silent dangers that can ruin destinies, complicate marriages, and shatter futures.
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‎As a marriage clinician and counselor, I have seen the devastating consequences of this silent destroyer. If you are single, this is a wisdom call for you: protect your purity, guard your future, and don’t allow temporary passion to rob you of lasting joy.
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‎Here are 15 dangerous consequences of premarital sex nobody talks about:
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‎1. Broken Trust in Future Marriage
‎When a couple engages in premarital sex, they unknowingly plant seeds of mistrust. Later in marriage, it becomes difficult to fully trust each other’s fidelity, because boundaries were already broken before marriage.
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‎2. Guilt and Condemnation
‎Many singles carry silent guilt after engaging in sex before marriage. This guilt robs them of peace, creates distance from God, and makes them feel unworthy in relationships.
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‎3. Soul Ties That Haunt
‎Every sexual encounter creates a spiritual bond. When you sleep with multiple partners, you tie your soul to them. Later in marriage, you may find yourself struggling with memories and emotional connections you never intended.
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‎4. Loss of Value and Respect
‎Sadly, many people stop valuing their partners after sex. What seemed precious becomes “cheap,” and respect in the relationship dwindles.
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‎5. Unwanted Pregnancies
‎Premarital sex often results in pregnancies that bring shame, family conflicts, or even abortion — leading to further emotional and spiritual scars.
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‎6. Spread of STDs
‎No matter how modern or “careful” people claim to be, sexually transmitted diseases are still real and deadly. HIV, HPV, syphilis, gonorrhea, and others destroy lives daily.
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‎7. Emotional Trauma
‎Premarital sex often ends with breakups. The emotional wounds left behind can be deeper than physical pain, leaving scars that affect future relationships.
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‎8. Aborted Dreams
‎Pregnancies and scandals from premarital sex have destroyed educational pursuits, career growth, and ministry callings for many young people.
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‎9. Wrong Marital Decisions
‎Premarital sex often blinds people to the truth about their partners. When sex clouds judgment, you may ignore warning signs and end up marrying wrongly.
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‎10. Abuse and Exploitation
‎Sex before marriage can make you vulnerable to manipulation. Many young women and men are used and dumped after giving in sexually.
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‎11. Spiritual Disconnection
‎Sex before marriage grieves the Holy Spirit. It weakens your prayer life and draws you farther away from God’s will and presence.
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‎12. Shame and Regret
‎When the pleasure fades, shame and regret creep in. Many singles wish they had waited, but by then the damage is already done.
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‎13. Bondage to Lust
‎Premarital sex can enslave you to lust. What begins as a “one-time mistake” often becomes a habit that is difficult to break.
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‎14. Future Marital Problems
‎Couples who engage in sex before marriage often face challenges like comparison, suspicion, lack of trust, and weak intimacy later in marriage.
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‎15. Ruined Testimonies
‎Many singles lose their credibility, purity, and testimony because of premarital sex. What should have been a story of honor becomes a story of regret.
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‎Final Word of Wisdom
‎Dear single, do not mortgage your glorious future for a few minutes of pleasure. God designed sex as a beautiful gift, but only within marriage. Protect yourself, protect your destiny, and honor God with your body.
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‎If you are serious about avoiding costly mistakes in choosing a life partner, I strongly recommend my book, “23 Smart Ways to Choose a Life Partner.” It is a complete guide for singles, church leaders, and counselors who want to help others. It will open your eyes, guide your steps, and save you from regrets.
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‎Order for your copy via this link:
‎https://bisiadewale.selar.com/choosingalifepartnerseries
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‎Don’t leave your future to chance. Get wisdom, make the right choice, and secure a blissful tomorrow!
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‎If you found this helpful, share it with someone today, because many singles needs this to choose right.
‎
‎©️Pastor Bisi Adewale
‎
‎#bisiadewale #viral #wisdomforsingles #Familyboostersministry
‎#copied

1 week ago | [YT] | 5

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎12 Things Parents Do That Silence Their Children’s Voices Forever - Bisi Adewale
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‎Every child is born with a voice. A voice that longs to be heard, cherished, and validated. But sadly, many children grow up in homes where their voices are silenced, not always by shouting them down, but by subtle parenting mistakes that shut the door of communication forever.
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‎As a marriage and family counselor, I have met adults who wept bitterly because they grew up unheard. They carried silent pain into adulthood, into their marriages, and even into their own parenting. If you want to raise confident, emotionally healthy children, you must avoid these dangerous habits that silence children’s voices.
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‎Here are 12 things parents do that silence their children’s voices forever:
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‎1. Constant Shouting
‎When a child’s attempt to express themselves is met with yelling, they quickly learn: “It is not safe to speak here.”
‎A home filled with shouting is like a battlefield; children prefer silence to avoid becoming casualties. Instead, listen calmly, even when you disagree. Your tone can either open their hearts or close it.
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‎2. Always Being Too Busy
‎Children often pick the wrong time to talk—they’ll want to share when you’re tired, cooking, or working. If you consistently wave them off, they’ll conclude you’re too busy for them. Later, when they become teenagers, they won’t bother trying again. Make time to look into their eyes and say, “I want to hear you.”
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‎3. Over-Criticism
‎Correcting is good, but constant criticism kills confidence. A child who hears, “You’re not good enough” repeatedly will stop speaking up. They’ll hide their struggles to avoid being judged. Replace criticism with encouragement. Point out their strengths even as you guide them to improve.
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‎4. Mocking Their Feelings
‎Children feel deeply, even if what they feel seems small to you. When a child says, “I’m scared,” and you respond with laughter or mockery, you are teaching them that their emotions don’t matter. Over time, they’ll bury their feelings and never let you in.
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‎5. Interrupting Them
‎Children need patience to express themselves. They may stumble over words or take longer to explain. Parents who always cut them short, finishing their sentences or dismissing them, end up silencing their voice. Let them talk, even if it takes time. Listening is love.
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‎6. Comparing Them with Others
‎Statements like, “Why can’t you be like your brother?” or “See how smart your friend is” wound a child’s soul deeply. Instead of inspiring improvement, comparisons sow silence and resentment. Each child is unique; allow them the space to blossom in their own way.
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‎7. Using Fear as Control
‎When children are constantly threatened with punishment, beating, or rejection, they live in fear. Fearful children don’t talk; they withdraw. While discipline is necessary, it should never choke communication. Balance authority with affection.
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‎8. Ignoring Small Talks
‎A child’s random stories about school, their drawing, or a butterfly they saw may seem trivial to you, but to them, it’s their world. If you dismiss “small talks” today, they won’t bring the “big talks” tomorrow. Start by valuing the little conversations, and you’ll earn their trust for the bigger ones.
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‎9. Always Wanting to Be Right
‎Some parents turn every conversation into a lecture. The child feels they can never win. Over time, they stop trying, because they know their parents will always have the “final word.” Allow room for dialogue, not just monologue.
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‎10. Failure to Apologize
‎Parents are not perfect. Sometimes, in anger or frustration, you may hurt your child with your words or actions. But when you refuse to apologize, the child learns to lock their heart. Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t reduce you—it teaches your child humility and honesty.
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‎11. Neglecting Emotional Needs
‎Children don’t just need food, clothes, and shelter, they need love, warmth, hugs, and affirmation. A child deprived of emotional connection learns that their inner voice doesn’t matter. Soon, they stop expressing emotions altogether.
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‎12. Not Practicing What You Preach
‎Children watch more than they listen. If you demand honesty but lie in their presence, they will stop confiding in you. If you ask for openness but shut them down, they’ll retreat. Your lifestyle is the loudest sermon to your children.
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‎Final Thoughts
‎Dear parents, your children’s voices are treasures. Don’t bury them under busyness, criticism, or fear. If you don’t create a safe space to hear them today, the world will gladly offer them another listener tomorrow, sometimes the wrong one.
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‎Let’s raise a generation of children who are bold, expressive, and emotionally healthy, children who know that their voices matter.
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‎Because when a child’s voice is silenced at home, it doesn’t just disappear—it echoes in their adulthood.
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‎Parents, which of these 12 points speaks to you most? What will you start changing today to make your home a safe place for your children’s voice?
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‎©️Pastor Bisi Adewale
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‎#bisiadewale #familyboosters #viral
‎#copied

1 week ago | [YT] | 6

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎7 Reasons Why Ignoring Your Wife’s Voice Will Destroy Your Leadership - Bisi Adewale
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‎In every marriage, God gave the husband the mantle of leadership. He is to lead with love, wisdom, and humility. But leadership in the home is not about dictatorship or shutting down the voice of your wife. Leadership is about listening, discerning, and making decisions that bless the whole family.
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‎When a man refuses to listen to his wife, he is not just silencing her; he is silencing wisdom, insight, and even divine guidance. Many men have lost businesses, ministries, health, and even peace in their homes because they ignored the gentle voice of their wives.
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‎Let me show you seven practical reasons why ignoring your wife’s voice can destroy your leadership.
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‎1. You Miss Divine Guidance
‎Sometimes, God speaks through your wife. Remember Pilate’s wife in Matthew 27:19? She warned him not to condemn Jesus because she had suffered in a dream. But Pilate ignored her, and his name remains forever stained in history.
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‎Your wife may see dangers you are blind to, or she may sense things in the Spirit that you cannot. When you ignore her voice, you may be shutting the door to divine wisdom. Leadership that despises counsel is bound to crash.
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‎A man planning to invest in a risky business may have his wife caution him. If he ignores her, thinking “What does she know?” he may end up losing everything.
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‎2. You Break Trust in Your Marriage
‎Marriage thrives on mutual respect and trust. When a wife’s voice is constantly ignored, she begins to feel unwanted, undervalued, and unimportant.
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‎A woman who feels her opinion doesn’t matter may withdraw emotionally. Once that happens, leadership in the home becomes weak, because leadership is not about command, it’s about influence. And you cannot influence a heart that has gone silent.
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‎Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 says: “Two are better than one… if either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” You cannot truly enjoy this support if you ignore the one meant to help you up.
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‎3. You Risk Making Costly Mistakes
‎No matter how intelligent or strong you are, you have blind spots. Your wife is not your competitor; she is your complement. She sees angles you may miss, she notices details you may overlook, and she can sense problems before they explode.
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‎Ignoring her voice is like driving a car without side mirrors, you are bound to crash.
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‎A husband may want to relocate the family hastily because of a job opportunity. The wife, after research, discovers the school system is poor or the environment unsafe. If he ignores her, the family suffers the consequences.
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‎4. You Kill Her Respect for You
‎Many men think listening to their wives will reduce their authority. On the contrary, listening increases respect. A woman respects a man who values her words.
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‎But when you consistently ignore her, she may outwardly submit but inwardly resent you. True leadership is not about forcing respect, it is about earning it by being humble enough to listen.
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‎Ephesians 5:25 says: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” Christ listens to His church. A husband who ignores his wife is leading unlike Christ.
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‎5. You Damage Intimacy and Oneness
‎Marriage is about oneness. When a wife’s voice is disregarded, the sense of oneness begins to crack. She may stop sharing her heart, stop opening up her fears, and stop being vulnerable.
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‎A marriage without vulnerability becomes mechanical—two people living together but emotionally far apart. Leadership without intimacy is empty.
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‎Practical Example: A wife suggests changes in how they raise the children, but the husband dismisses her. Over time, she stops talking about parenting altogether. The result? Distance in their partnership and confusion in raising the children.
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‎6. You Model Wrong Leadership to Your Children
‎Children are watching. A husband who ignores his wife is silently teaching his sons to disregard women and teaching his daughters that their voices don’t matter. This can destroy the future of the family tree.
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‎When you listen to your wife, you are modeling humility, partnership, and respect before your children. But when you ignore her, you are planting seeds of rebellion, pride, and brokenness into their hearts.
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‎Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go…” One way you train is by how you treat your spouse.
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‎7. You Weaken Your Leadership Before God
‎Marriage leadership is stewardship before God. Husbands are called to be shepherds of their homes, not dictators. Ignoring your wife’s voice does not make you a stronger leader; it makes you a weaker steward.
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‎God gave you your wife as a “help meet” (Genesis 2:18), a partner designed to complete you. Ignoring her is ignoring part of yourself. And when you ignore part of yourself, you lead broken, not whole.
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‎Final Word of Wisdom
‎Dear husbands, leadership is not about silencing your wife. It is about listening, weighing, and wisely deciding in partnership with her. Your wife is not your opposition; she is your God-given helper.
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‎A man who ignores his wife’s voice destroys his own leadership, but a man who listens builds trust, intimacy, and respect that strengthens the home.
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‎Remember: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). To despise her voice is to despise God’s favor.
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‎So, wise husband, slow down. Listen. Pay attention. You may just hear God’s wisdom through the gentle voice of your wife.
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‎Wisdom for Couples: Leadership without listening is dictatorship. True leadership listens, loves, and leads with humility.
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‎Your marriage can work you can also have an 100% Marriage. I wrote a book on it titled "100% Marriage" you can order for your copy via this link: https://bisiadewale.selar.com/2327f8
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‎©️ Pastor Bisi Adewale
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‎#bisiadewale #viral #wisdomforcouples #Familyboostersministry
‎#copied

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

‎The Hidden Risk of Pursuing a Future Your Spouse Isn’t Part Of - By Bisi Adewale
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‎Every blessing God gives is meant to lift you.
‎But I have also seen blessings become burdens, heavy, painful, confusing, simply because they were pursued outside the umbrella of marital unity.
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‎A blessing that removes peace is not a blessing.
‎A blessing that breaks your marriage is not from God.
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‎Dear friend, hear my heart:
‎Not every success is divine. Some are dangerous.
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‎THE UNEXPECTED PAIN OF A ONE-SIDED FUTURE
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‎In counseling rooms, I have listened to spouses cry with deep regret:
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‎“I thought I was doing it for us…”
‎“I didn’t know my success was hurting my marriage…”
‎“I left my family to build a future, but I returned to an empty home.”
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‎A future you build without your spouse will one day turn back to question you.
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‎The devil knows he cannot stop you from succeeding, so he tries to use success itself as the weapon.
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‎WHEN BLESSINGS BECOME BURDENS
‎1. When Your Achievement Changes Your Behavior
‎Some people become proud, detached, inaccessible, or controlling once they rise.
‎Suddenly, their spouse is no longer a partner, but an assistant.
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‎Blessing has become a burden.
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‎2. When Success Weakens Intimacy
‎More money, less closeness.
‎More travel, less communication.
‎More influence, less affection.
‎More responsibilities, fewer moments of connection.
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‎A marriage that loses intimacy is sitting on a ticking time bomb.
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‎3. When One Person Outgrows the Marriage
‎A wife becomes exposed to new circles, new conversations, new people—and the husband gradually feels left behind.
‎Or a husband becomes financially successful and begins to feel “too big” for the wife.
‎This imbalance creates emotional starvation.
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‎4. When the Marriage Becomes Secondary
‎If your spouse feels replaced, by work, ministry, ambition, or social life, the “blessing” you’re chasing is already turning into a burden.
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‎THE LONELINESS NOBODY TALKS ABOUT
‎I have heard powerful men whisper,
‎“Pastor, I am respected everywhere but lonely at home.”
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‎I have seen successful women cry,
‎“I climbed higher… but lost my partner on the way.”
‎Marriage pain hurts more when the world thinks you’re “blessed.”
‎People see your car, but not your tears.
‎They admire your progress, but not your emptiness.
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‎Blessing without companionship becomes a burden.
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‎HOW TO KEEP BLESSINGS FROM DESTROYING YOUR MARRIAGE
‎1. Pursue the Future Together
‎If you’re building a house, build it together.
‎If you’re planning a move, plan it together.
‎If you’re chasing a dream, chase it together.
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‎2. Protect Emotional Closeness
‎Your spouse shouldn’t beg for your attention.
‎Check on each other daily.
‎Love intentionally.
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‎3. Keep Your Marriage Above Your Success
‎A broken marriage will stain your achievements.
‎A united home will multiply them.
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‎4. Beware of Any Success That Demands the Loss of Your Spouse
‎If you must lose your spouse to gain the future, It is the wrong future.
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‎5. Remember Your Covenant
‎Marriage is not a distraction from destiny.
‎Marriage is part of your destiny.
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‎THE BALANCED TRUTH
‎God wants you to succeed, but never at the cost of your marriage.
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‎A future without your spouse beside you is incomplete.
‎A blessing that destroys unity is not from God.
‎A vision that excludes your partner is a burden in disguise.
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‎Protect your home as you pursue your dreams.
‎Carry your spouse as you climb.
‎Let your success be a shared testimony, not a lonely achievement.
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‎May the Lord give you wisdom to build a future you can enjoy together.
‎May your blessings lift your home, not burden it.
‎In Jesus’ name, Amen.
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‎©️Bisi Adewale
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‎#love #bisiadewale #viral #viralpost
‎#copied

1 week ago | [YT] | 3

Family, Finance and Purpose Tv

It starts so small you don’t even notice it.

A thought. A whisper. “I’m smarter than him.”

You solve problems faster. You understand things quicker. And somewhere deep inside, that whisper becomes a voice: “I could’ve done better.”

Listen carefully!

The devil doesn’t need infidelity or abuse to destroy your marriage. He just needs ONE SEED: Pride.

When you believe you’re better than your husband, you open a legal door in the spiritual realm. In the court of heaven, the accuser presents his case: “Lord, You commanded her to submit to this man as head. But she has exalted herself above him. She despises what You ordained. I have legal grounds.”

There’s a difference between speaking truth in love and speaking down in pride.

You can help your husband grow. You can offer wisdom. You can correct him— with honor, not contempt. But when your heart shifts from “we’re building together” to “I’m better than him,” everything changes.

Every eye roll. Every public correction that demeans. Every dismissal—you’re not helping him step up. You’re tearing down what God is building.

Yes, he has responsibility too. But his growth doesn’t excuse your pride.

Some of you wonder why:
- Prayers feel blocked
- Home has no peace
- The more you “help,” the more he withdraws

Pride disguises itself as “keeping it real.” But your tone reveals what’s operating.

Partnership isn’t silence. It’s knowing the difference between building up and tearing down.

You can be smarter in areas and still honor his position. Intelligence and submission aren’t enemies—pride and order are.

Challenge him in love. But speak with him, not over him.

When you align your heart with God’s design, everything shifts:
- Prayers break through
- Peace floods your home
- He steps into leadership you’ve longed to see

Your marriage isn’t struggling because of what you see. It’s struggling because of what’s in your heart toward it.

Repent. Ask God where you’ve operated in contempt instead of counsel.

Then watch how humility makes room for his growth. How honor creates safety for him to lead.

Close the legal case. Walk in your strength without pride. Watch heaven move when two operate as one.
#copied

1 week ago | [YT] | 1