PVPPLEX

PT 2 to previous post:

Failed. Emptied 3 bottles of pain killers, chugged a bottle of wine, and slept with all of my heaviest blankets over my head that night. Woke up, threw my guts up, and just feel horrible now. Still abandoning this account and moving to the ever mentioned new one. Thanks for your support though.

2 weeks ago | [YT] | 11

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⚠️please read⚠️
TW: End of channel, ending one’s own life, harming oneself

I kind of sort of had an existential crises today… haha. I’ve been nonstop on this channel (for the most part) for the last two years. I’ve met and lost friends. I’ve grown as a person and learned where my morals lie. I’m grateful to all of you for supporting me, but this will be one of the last things I post. I’ve come to realize that I just don’t feel a connection to a lot of what has happened here. I’ve made good decisions and bad decisions. I dabbled in AI and regretted it, used it as a tool, and only recently decided I’m 100% against it. Even so, over the years, with none of you knowing it, I’ve over relied on it for references and inspiration, and it eats away at me. I’m deciding I want to start fresh. Want to be honest. I don’t want to live a lie and create a false perception of myself, even if it means losing everything. I’m cutting off my art friend groups and long-term friends. I’ve even started withdrawing from my romantic life. SH has gotten really bad and I feel terrible doing it to myself because I know my bf has worse issues and would literally end his own life if something happened to me, which is the only reason I’m alive and typing this. I love him but I haven’t spoken to him in a few days which is understandable given his screen limits, but it’s uprooting old insecurities I’ve had with exes, given we’ve been talking at least a little everyday since we met online. I can’t even picture a future with him because my mom doesn’t approve given he lives hours away in a state with a very large influx of those from the opposite political party and his type of humor. Anyways, sorry, that’s not the point. I’m not a good person. I’m a liar, I have a horrible personality, and I pretend to be confident and happy because that makes me more attractive in other people’s eyes. I cannot even look in the mirror without wanting to cry.

I’m thinking about ending it tomorrow night. If I do, I do. If I don’t, I don’t. Regardless I won’t be posting here any longer. If I don’t go through with it, I started a new account @Woldedish . For now I’m just deciding what niches I want to thrive in for comfort, and hot to not push myself too hard. It still is almost impossible wanting to plan for something that has a chance of never being pursued due to mentioned circumstances.

I love you all.

Good night.

3 weeks ago (edited) | [YT] | 31

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Concept art of the sona I bought

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 251

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JUST GOT THE ADOPT FROM ‪@Morwenator‬ ! THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!! I love them <3333333

1 month ago | [YT] | 278

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Not only did I accidentally delete all of the notes I had made for my WEBTOON, I accidentally deleted FIVE CHAPTER’S WORTH OF ART. Actually dead rn. Maybe another time, but not this time. I give up 💔💔💔

On a different note, I may be doing some more OC-based content

1 month ago | [YT] | 8

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If any of my viewers have experience wearing corsets— any tips? I accidentally got a corset too small (it’s completely loose in this image) and I just want to know if it’s okay to wean myself into the tight feeling (it’s not crushing, just unfamiliar), or should I buy one more my actual size (I wear large shirts, assume a large corset would fit the same. NO!! I need an XXL corset to fit the same)

1 month ago | [YT] | 29

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My choker came in L;<

1 month ago | [YT] | 14

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POV: you are grateful you chose a simple artstyle for your WEBTOON because you forgot how hard backgrounds are to draw

1 month ago | [YT] | 21

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Had a great birthday

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1 month ago | [YT] | 31

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Ehehe my bday tmr 🎉

1 month ago | [YT] | 4