if you're here, you see me, believe in me, and recognize the mission.
if you're here, after all this time... man, I can't sum it in words.
i've missed you in a real way.
calling your followers/subscribers "friends" has taken on a very pandering and disingenuous connotation somewhere in the last decade -->
--> but, I started social media before "influencer" existed as a job title. I watched YouTube creators before YouTube paid it's creators; when artists and weirdos uploaded videos solely for the love of making and sharing. -->
I spent hours making my AIM profiles and away messages ~*AeStHeTiCaLLY PL3A$!NG;
writing blogs and drawing on mirror selfies (taken on a digital camera) on MySpace;
making Vines in my aunt's spare bedroom in my post-graduate depression. -->
I'm really, very, in a way even ~*I'm*~ just now beginning to understand-[socially anxious].-->
I'm uncomfortable around most people, most of the time. In fact, I don't think I have ever been totally relaxed in the presence of another human being. The only time I have ever felt 100% myself is when I'm alone. Surrounded in silence, shrouded in peace, free of judgement, free from embarrassment, relieved of the people-pleasing shackles of desperately wanting to be liked (also read: the all-consuming fear of being disliked).
A lot of my time with others was spent wondering if the thing I just said or did was weird, rude, stupid, or embarrassing. I used to ramble because silence in the presence of another person was unbearable for me. Ironically, I find it extremely challenging to focus on someone else speaking for long. If there's something I'm hyper fixated on or obsessing over, I can only think about and speak about *that thing.*
[ Alone, expressing, I can write, I can edit. I can take my time. I can breathe, literally, breathe. I can watch myself back and delete the footage where I'm not quite acting human. I've never understood how some people could just be born human. Lucky curse. ]
I didn't start off doing this as a career. It was my place to connect to other people like me. It was somebody, somebodies, to talk to. People who I didn't need to pretend for, they followed me because they liked me, they were entertained by me, I added some value to their lives in whatever way, or because they saw themselves in me. -->
-->All that to say;
Not being here has been like not talking to my oldest friend & it was really fucking hard for me, I'd become extremely codependent in what had become a very toxic relationship. There were some weeks, months maybe, where I felt like maybe I just really didn't exist. I just needed time in the real world. Time to rest, heal, and figure out who the fuck I am. I needed to forgive myself and others. I needed time to work on my crafts and decide what I wanna do for the rest of my life. I needed to realign with my Purpose.
I've spent all year becoming the version of me I can be in love with for the rest of my life. I've been resting, but baby, I have been WORKING. I have been PRACTICING. I have been planning, inventing, breathing, stretching, building, painting, writing, organizing, plotting, meditating, praying, dreaming, journaling, scaling the 5D, planting flowers, tiling my balcony, filming, editing, smoking, eating, dancing. I did Molly once. It was fine.
After this past year, I'm ready to come back. I'm not 100% sure what that looks like, but holy fuck! I'm scared! But I can't imagine I'm that much more scared than when I first started.
Ahh, starting over. The ultimate act of self-love. The Freedom!
Hey, that album I started in like, February of 2018? I've been releasing songs from it ~lol. The whole album "Trauma Queen" will be out end of July. IDK, I just wanted to let it go! I held it so preciously for so long, I just needed to share it so I could start working on new music. The lesson I learned is that I just *HAVE* to release music as I make it!
I realized that I don't care about the commercial success of my music anymore. I felt a lot of guilt for not promoting my project that way I could have (I just realized *today* I never even posted 2 of my new releases to YouTube). But I DO plan on changing that now that I'm working again. I'm gonna give this album what I can, I'd LOVE to make one long, connected visual for the whole album! I've been holding off on music videos for it until then :) When I work on a visual, I want to be able to dedicate all my time to it. We'll see what happens!
I'm strapping in for a lot of hard work and dedication. I am so beyond grateful to have been in the position to take this much time to just... be. Oh my God, it was such an amazing challenge. It killed me and brought me back to life.
MY CURRENT DREAMS & PROJECTS:
á¼ first and foremost, the house & gardens. once all my studios and workshops are running? game over.
á¼ I have shows coming up! stay tuned at gabbiehannaofficial.com for dates & things
á¼ A FUCKING VACATION. & a road trip! I'm gonna buy an SUV and take the cats with meeeee
á¼ LEARNING PRODUCTION! I know once I start it's gonna be the end of me for a while. I'm not allowing myself to even look at Logic or pick up an instrument until my house is finished and all my other open projects are CLOSED. I will literally not be able to focus on anything else once I start producing until I have another album finished.
á¼ Finding a healthy balance with social media. Sharing consistently while maintaining my own boundaries. ACC!D3NT$ D0N't HAPP3N TW!C3 <3
á¼ Working on gabbiehannaofficial.com --> gonna make that the one stop shop for literally everything. Considering making a members only portion for blogs in place of Patreon. sign up for the mailing list for updates/shows/etc!
I'm gonna try really, really hard. I love you.
MISSED U BITCHES <3
GH
PS: I became a professional Viner the day someone paid me $400 to promote a Russian dating app, so wild to be here. Life is good.
The Gabbie Show
The Gabbie Show
About to live stream sound check on IG 🤟
3 years ago | [YT] | 800
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The Gabbie Show
1500 CDs and 300 posters available :)
3 years ago | [YT] | 804
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The Gabbie Show
Heyyy lol my album is out. 1111 CDs available for $11.11 on gabbiehannaofficial.com. Get urs now 🤟💕
3 years ago | [YT] | 882
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The Gabbie Show
@thegabbieshow on tiktok
3 years ago | [YT] | 288
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The Gabbie Show
Go comment ur fav vine of mine on my new TikTok on my new TikTok account @thegabbieshow username
3 years ago | [YT] | 247
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The Gabbie Show
The Day I Didn’t Die [Last 4th of July]
3 years ago | [YT] | 1,082
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The Gabbie Show
I’m playing a show June 16, snag ya ticket www.eventbrite.com/e/something-dope-for-the-ladies…
3 years ago | [YT] | 220
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The Gabbie Show
if you're here, thank you.
if you're here, we've been through it together.
if you're here, you see me, believe in me, and recognize the mission.
if you're here, after all this time... man, I can't sum it in words.
i've missed you in a real way.
calling your followers/subscribers "friends" has taken on a very pandering and disingenuous connotation somewhere in the last decade -->
--> but, I started social media before "influencer" existed as a job title. I watched YouTube creators before YouTube paid it's creators; when artists and weirdos uploaded videos solely for the love of making and sharing. -->
I spent hours making my AIM profiles and away messages ~*AeStHeTiCaLLY PL3A$!NG;
writing blogs and drawing on mirror selfies (taken on a digital camera) on MySpace;
making Vines in my aunt's spare bedroom in my post-graduate depression. -->
I'm really, very, in a way even ~*I'm*~ just now beginning to understand-[socially anxious].-->
I'm uncomfortable around most people, most of the time. In fact, I don't think I have ever been totally relaxed in the presence of another human being. The only time I have ever felt 100% myself is when I'm alone. Surrounded in silence, shrouded in peace, free of judgement, free from embarrassment, relieved of the people-pleasing shackles of desperately wanting to be liked (also read: the all-consuming fear of being disliked).
A lot of my time with others was spent wondering if the thing I just said or did was weird, rude, stupid, or embarrassing. I used to ramble because silence in the presence of another person was unbearable for me. Ironically, I find it extremely challenging to focus on someone else speaking for long. If there's something I'm hyper fixated on or obsessing over, I can only think about and speak about *that thing.*
[ Alone, expressing, I can write, I can edit. I can take my time. I can breathe, literally, breathe. I can watch myself back and delete the footage where I'm not quite acting human. I've never understood how some people could just be born human. Lucky curse. ]
I didn't start off doing this as a career. It was my place to connect to other people like me. It was somebody, somebodies, to talk to. People who I didn't need to pretend for, they followed me because they liked me, they were entertained by me, I added some value to their lives in whatever way, or because they saw themselves in me. -->
-->All that to say;
Not being here has been like not talking to my oldest friend & it was really fucking hard for me, I'd become extremely codependent in what had become a very toxic relationship. There were some weeks, months maybe, where I felt like maybe I just really didn't exist. I just needed time in the real world. Time to rest, heal, and figure out who the fuck I am. I needed to forgive myself and others. I needed time to work on my crafts and decide what I wanna do for the rest of my life. I needed to realign with my Purpose.
I've spent all year becoming the version of me I can be in love with for the rest of my life. I've been resting, but baby, I have been WORKING. I have been PRACTICING. I have been planning, inventing, breathing, stretching, building, painting, writing, organizing, plotting, meditating, praying, dreaming, journaling, scaling the 5D, planting flowers, tiling my balcony, filming, editing, smoking, eating, dancing. I did Molly once. It was fine.
After this past year, I'm ready to come back. I'm not 100% sure what that looks like, but holy fuck! I'm scared! But I can't imagine I'm that much more scared than when I first started.
Ahh, starting over. The ultimate act of self-love. The Freedom!
Hey, that album I started in like, February of 2018? I've been releasing songs from it ~lol. The whole album "Trauma Queen" will be out end of July. IDK, I just wanted to let it go! I held it so preciously for so long, I just needed to share it so I could start working on new music. The lesson I learned is that I just *HAVE* to release music as I make it!
I realized that I don't care about the commercial success of my music anymore. I felt a lot of guilt for not promoting my project that way I could have (I just realized *today* I never even posted 2 of my new releases to YouTube). But I DO plan on changing that now that I'm working again. I'm gonna give this album what I can, I'd LOVE to make one long, connected visual for the whole album! I've been holding off on music videos for it until then :) When I work on a visual, I want to be able to dedicate all my time to it. We'll see what happens!
I'm strapping in for a lot of hard work and dedication. I am so beyond grateful to have been in the position to take this much time to just... be. Oh my God, it was such an amazing challenge. It killed me and brought me back to life.
MY CURRENT DREAMS & PROJECTS:
á¼ first and foremost, the house & gardens. once all my studios and workshops are running? game over.
á¼ I have shows coming up! stay tuned at gabbiehannaofficial.com for dates & things
á¼ A FUCKING VACATION. & a road trip! I'm gonna buy an SUV and take the cats with meeeee
á¼ LEARNING PRODUCTION! I know once I start it's gonna be the end of me for a while. I'm not allowing myself to even look at Logic or pick up an instrument until my house is finished and all my other open projects are CLOSED. I will literally not be able to focus on anything else once I start producing until I have another album finished.
á¼ Finding a healthy balance with social media. Sharing consistently while maintaining my own boundaries. ACC!D3NT$ D0N't HAPP3N TW!C3 <3
á¼ Working on gabbiehannaofficial.com --> gonna make that the one stop shop for literally everything. Considering making a members only portion for blogs in place of Patreon. sign up for the mailing list for updates/shows/etc!
I'm gonna try really, really hard. I love you.
MISSED U BITCHES <3
GH
PS: I became a professional Viner the day someone paid me $400 to promote a Russian dating app, so wild to be here. Life is good.
3 years ago | [YT] | 2,179
View 160 replies
The Gabbie Show
I sold my soul and I want to tell you about it
3 years ago | [YT] | 503
View 97 replies
The Gabbie Show
TikTok
3 years ago | [YT] | 335
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