Freya Aurora Wilding

Friends, current events have been weighing heavy on my heart.
I’ve struggled to create a safe space mentally and physically to heal, but I can’t be silent.
I want to send love all around the world. And to Americans who are scared and hurting.
We have to be strong together.

Our Government Has Turned Against Us. This is war against the people.
https://youtu.be/TTgwNaozgF0

20 hours ago | [YT] | 53

Freya Aurora Wilding

Dearest friends ❤️ There is so much going on in the world right now and in the U.S. It all hits so hard and affects all of us. I hope wherever you are right now you feel strong, healthy, and supported. Thank you all for caring so much and making me feel that way with such tangible kindness. I’m working very hard on getting a new video out to you. I’m hoping tomorrow or Thursday—there is so much to talk about.
Sending love to all!

6 days ago | [YT] | 81

Freya Aurora Wilding

My absolute favorite thing to do when I wake up in the morning, in the motel room, is to wrap my shoulders wih my soft throw blanket as I turn up the heat and make a warm drink. It is such a simple, yet powerful and underestimated, pleasure. After two years living in a car, it’s a luxury.

Thank you everyone who’s contributed to the motel stay! I almost have enough for the full month of January!
Your kindness has made me feel so loved ❤️ and has been rebuilding my strength.

I shared some health updates in a full video. I don’t have the energy to make smaller reels of it. Plus, it wouldn’t explain it correctly. I also included ALL the names of those who have given to Go Fund Me, PayPal, Cash App, Super Chats, etc., at the end of the video
✨ you are all magic and I’m so grateful ✨

Behind the Scenes of My Life (Health and Medical Issues as a Nomad). Answering your questions.
https://youtu.be/aPYLm00sg0c

#HealthJourney #healingjourney

(If you would like to give there is a Go Fund Me: gofund.me/e84adb104 💗 Thank you!)

1 week ago | [YT] | 123

Freya Aurora Wilding

Early morning drive into Seattle for medical treatment. Please take a moment to send up a health and well wish for me. It’s going to be a long day.

I’m deeply thankful to be waking up in the warm motel room and not the frigid car.

My sister gave me this inspirational bracelet awhile back. Thought I’d share the sentiment to with you ❤️ I know so many of us, and those we love, are going through hard things.

The mist and clouds over the trees and mountains feel magical. Like all good things are possible.

#nevergiveup

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2 weeks ago | [YT] | 125

Freya Aurora Wilding

One of the toughest parts to navigate has been learning to hold life, joy, and happiness with such crippling grief. For the first years, survivor’s guilt and even the idea of finding “life” in a world where he isn’t anymore, felt like treading through quicksand.
There are times I get very close to finding the balance and am able to start living with the duality. Then anniversaries and dates hit and I’m suddenly thrown into a spiral where I feel as if I have to start all over again.
I know this has contributed to my six-year struggle for survival. Travel when I had my RV brought solace while my family continued to breathe life into me.
This year, even while dealing with the medical conditions, I believe I am going to get further. Every day, every step.
This summer, when I was homeless in northern Washington, there were these beautiful blue dragonflies. Not just zipping about, but they would follow me. I’d walk somewhere and they’d circle me for long distances.
I’ve always believed and have known that my boy visits me and proves he’s near in different ways, and watches over me and his family.

If you have any stories you’d like to share, please feel free.

#griefjourney #griefandloss #grievingmother

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2 weeks ago | [YT] | 62

Freya Aurora Wilding

On Jan 2, 2020, at 4am, the cell phone beside my bed rang. I grabbed it, disoriented from being woke from such a deep sleep.
“Ben is dead.”
I threw the phone across the room and heard it skitter against the floor.
The person on the other end was wrong. There had to be some explanation. A mistake.
I took a breath in the dark, cold space, sure of it.
My body shook with adrenaline and fear as I stumbled in the dimly lit room to retrieve the phone.
This is just one of the moments from those weeks that I relive and replay, over and over again in my mind. It precipitates every move I make. It is as if it’s happening all over again.
Every year the anniversary comes, is as if I am preparing for war. Preparing to survive it all over again.
Every move, everything I couldn’t change, every choice I had ever made in my life that led to that moment.
The moment my eighteen-year-old son was murdered.
2,320 miles away from me.
As the sun rose, I set out to drive my RV from Defuniak Springs, Florida to Montana, where my playful, once animated son’s now lifeless body laid.
Reality was warped. My sense of time blurred. I couldn’t eat or sleep.
In my head, I felt confident there had to be a way that I could still save him. If I could get there fast enough, if I could change the details…
I still do it. And this week is the worst.
I replay each of the steps he took and decisions he made. And instead of being able to scream at him that it was a trap, to run…
I’m forced to watch it play out. Again. To feel and experience it all over again.
And then in my mind, so does he.
I discovered that avoidance and distraction could keep me functioning. I found survival. Spending time with my family and travel helped me live—one day, and one breath, at a time.
For years, I had stopped writing, reading, and listening to music.
I’ve come a long way. I’ve started doing those things again.
But now on this, the sixth-year anniversary, is the first time I’ve ever written any of that out or told someone how it feels. How I relive it with incredible, painful accuracy and detail.
I needed to get it out. And maybe, it can help someone else.
I’m going to breathe now. And drink some water.
The medical examiner was the kindest and most empathetic person I encountered throughout this horrific journey. He always reminded me to drink a lot of water, and promised me…
He would never forget my son.



#lifeafterloss #grievingmother, #griefjourney

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3 weeks ago | [YT] | 120

Freya Aurora Wilding

This moment gives me hope that better days and circumstances are coming. For all of us.

I just filmed a tour of the motel room I’m presently staying in! You can see it in the short I posted today 💙 You’ve all made me comfortable and safe while going through medical care. I’m also navigating a traumatic anniversary date in January that will be a little easier without the stress of living in the car.

I know so many of us are going through difficult times. I’d love to hear from you in the comments. Sending well wishes and strong hope for a new year ahead.
Xo

If you’d like to help:

www.gofundme.com/f/would-you-like-to-help-me-stay-…

PayPal: wildingstrong@gmail.com

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 139

Freya Aurora Wilding

Hello, Loves! Because YOU are all so amazing, I’m currently able to stay housed through the end of December and into the first week of January! The stability you've helped me achieve means more to me than I can express. Knowing I’m not facing this season alone has made all the difference.
This weekend, if I'm feeling well enough, I'll film a video from my motel room to show you around!
Please remember, every donation, share, and kind message has helped me regain my footing and breathe a little easier.
Thank you for being here, for caring, and for helping me through this chapter. ❤️


I'm still campaigning for the rest of January and February, and would deeply appreciate if you could share the link! Thank you all so much!
www.gofundme.com/f/would-you-like-to-help-me-stay-…

See you soon ✨

With love,
Freya

4 weeks ago | [YT] | 149

Freya Aurora Wilding

May you create beautiful moments, magic, and epic memories today and throughout the new year.
Merry Christmas ✨🎄❄️

Love to all 💙

1 month ago | [YT] | 70

Freya Aurora Wilding

I feel so loved by all of you! Thank you for showing up! My heart is filled with gratitude! I’m safe and warm, tucked into a motel room. It’s close to the hospital and doctors ❤️.

It’s a miracle to be able to rest.

I get to cook inside! Not at a freezing, public park. I can think beyond mere everyday survival.

I absolutely believe this is the next major step in my healing. I’m dealing with a lot of medication, and just being able to NOT have to sit most of the day, and sleep at night, in a freezing cold car is warming me from the inside out!

And it’s because of your generosity and kindness! The month of December has been paid for!

The Go Fund Me will stay up as I continue to strive for January and February motel funds www.gofundme.com/f/would-you-like-to-help-me-stay-…


The health condition I’m struggling with is very isolating. Having all you by my side means the world to me!

Xo

1 month ago | [YT] | 153