ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

ʜɪɪ

I'm harshi!


Here I'll post edits for my frnds or some random editss

backup channel of @jngwoniiezz

Always remember that your harshu loves you a lot no matter how close we are ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ


💌


ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

GW WHILE I WAS SIGNING IN TODAY ON THIS ACC I FORGOT MY EMAIL ID
THEN I TRIED TO REMEMBER BUT IT FAILED BUT I STILL GOT IT RYT AFTER SOME TIME IDK HOW 😨

1 day ago |[YT] | 3

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

Hehhh I'm too smarttt
I tried logging out from this acc and it worked 😻

Dw it won't hide my channel or smth
And ofc I know how to log back in 😨

Tried logging out just incase 😿

2 days ago |[YT] | 4

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

Does anyone know how to log out an acc on youtube 🫪

2 days ago |[YT] | 5

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

YOII GUESS WHAT I JUST REALISED THAT I'M ALONE AT MY HOUSE TILL 8PM
BUT THIS TIME FROM 1:30 TO 8PM CAUSE MY SISTER IS AT COLLEGE AND RIGHT AFTER THAT SHE'LL GO TO TUITION 😻


BUT I HAVE TO STUDY LOL 😔🥀

Also I found out that my sis was secretly eating chocolate yesterday and when I asked her what it was, she said that it's shrikhand (yogurt) 😀
But I saw that its chocolate and also ALMOND CHOCOLATE
ofc her bf would have given it to her🫩

BUT IK I CAN'T EAT BUT I WANT TO 😭

And.. I ate some super spicy noodles yesterday and worse, I ate it at 11pm so my stomach hurts since 7am 🥹


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3 days ago (edited) |[YT] | 5

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

What did I do wrong?

I'm fvking tired, we worte so many notes today, in all lectures + I was completing other subjects too and I when I came home I was excited thinking that I would get to talk about it to my sis but she just scolded me saying not to ask her anymore questions
I was tired but I still tried to talk to her but whatever
So I slept from 2 to 7 then after that my mom started scolding me saying there are many chores left and why did I sleep for so long
She keeps saying she goes to work, my sis says she goes to tuition for teaching but even I have school and hw? Am I not a human? I can get tired too ryt?

Why the heck do I have to carry hot utensils for dinner even tho my hand is burning while my sis is just sitting there?
I told my mom many times that I can't do it but she just forces me saying that she won't help me?
And it happens everyday, I burn my hand so much that now I'm addicted to it
Yesterday in class I was sitting near the window and the weather was super hot so I tried keeping my hand on the window railing, it was hot but I didn't feel anything, my hand was completely numb

Today, my mom was scolding me again and again telling me not to use my phone when I was just talking with a frnd? My sis was scrolling and playing games in the balcony and my mom didn't say anything to her?
And when my mom started saying that she won't do anything, my sis gave me a death stare like cmon I almost burned my hand but I still did all the chores, served the plates and after all im the one who isn't doing chores?

They both keep telling me to bring stuff from the grocery store after 11pm at night saying that it's okay?
I mean nothing's gonna happen to me but the shopkeeper keeps telling me not to come after 11pm

Today I went at 11:25 and the shopkeeper again asked me why I came so late and even the customer there told me that it's almost 12am
I felt like crying but I didn't cause what can I do?
Even if I cry in front of my sis, she would say that she's the one who's suffering the most so there's no reason for me to cry
They think I'm spoiled because kids from my generation are spoiled, thinking I'm spoiled too
I'm too mature for my age, none of my classmates relate to how much work I do everyday and still they call me useless?

They don't even know that I cry every day, that I pray for my own death, that I think that I won't wake up the next day
I just got some support from my dad and then after he died my mom kept saying that my dad isn't here anymore to pamper me like wth? I'm already sad about it and now this?

Once we all three were just talking and my mom said that if I meed tuition,she would put me in the same tuition where my sis is teaching but then she said "no, it's better if you don't go to tuition,you would ruin her image" even my sis said "yeah you would ruin my image, the teacher would think you're stupid and would think that I don't look upon you"
Like cmon is 85+ in 7th not enough?
When more than half of the class has below 75%?
Why do they keep expecting me to get 90+ in 7th when the topper is getting around 87-88?

I can't even blame my mom and my sis for all of this now cause ik it would be stupid to explain my opinions to them and I don't even have energy left for that
It's all my fault anyways
I'm always the bad one

Just tell me, why should I live now?

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6 days ago (edited) |[YT] | 2

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

I just wanna die :)

6 days ago |[YT] | 1

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

No matter how tired I am
How sad I am
And how willing I am to die

I would ofc live for my family

And atp I don't even know what family
It's just me, my sis and my mom

Exactly a year ago, in oct 2025, my mom and my aunt (the 2nd youngest out of 4) had a fight cause she, my aunt, scolded my sis (on phone) for not taking my grandma for checkup and my sis just said that she'll rake her the next day after college cause she had an important exam and it was her main 12th std exam but they refused
And gw that was monthly checkup and my grandma told my sis about it on oct 28 🫩

So there was a big fight and almost all of my relatives came at my house and shouted a lot, I was in the bedroom with my dog but I heard every single thing and I still remember all those words that my aunt said

And before going yk what the youngest aunt said 🥹?
She said that me, my mom and my sis are the reason behind my dad's death
Like seriously?
Crying everyday, thinking that I'm stuck in a dream, thinking that he's alive and I get to hear this?
A girl who lived with her dad for just 9 years and didn't get proper support from him gets to hear this?

They're the only reason why I think that I'm actually the reason behind my father's death, I kept talking to myself "if he didn't come to watch my karate exam that day, he wouldn't have been so tired" , I kept telling this to myself even tho it wasn't actually the reason

They barely scolded me and my sis whenever my dad used to be with us but after he died? All of them made us think that we are th evil ones

And what about my grandma? She didn't even used to feed me properly,she used to make her own food (by the vegetables bought by my mom btw 🥰🥀) and wouldn't give me anything
Once I asked her to make me an omlette cause I was just 10 at that time and she said that there aren't enough eggs and she made two for herself and didn't even ask me if I want some 🥹
She always gave me leftover food at might only because she couldn't finish
She used to tell her daughter (my aunts) that she treats me well but used to shout at me for no reason

Still till today, I cry every night for almost everything,even if it's not my fault

Now just tell me, what did I do to face all this shit at such a young age? Even tho I don't know how to handle all this

In 2024,the year my father died, I tried to keep a smile on my face so that I wouldn't ruin other's mood and yk what they used to say? "You look so happy even tho you said your father died,if I was in your place, I would have cried everyday"
They used to say this not knowing that I actually cry everyday but ig God likes to see me sad,to see me fail
I'm such a failure anyways 😋

Sorry for wasting your time 😿
Byee tc 🫂

Some tags (sorry if I forgot to tag you)
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1 week ago (edited) |[YT] | 5

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

Broski leave me alone, I'm not a padhaku kid, ask someone else🥰🥀
(I haven't written the notes she's asking 😋)

1 week ago |[YT] | 3

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

Fahh I want comfort so badly rn

1 week ago |[YT] | 5

ʜᴀʀsʜᴜᴜ?..

I just wanna know how it feels like to get actual comfort, someone comforting me when I cry, someone trying to understand me, someone patting my head
But whatever :)

1 week ago |[YT] | 3