HyzMarie

"Crying over books again? Well, at least it's not boys"

meanwhile I sit in the corner crying over boys in books...


yes, I'm reading Drizzt novels again...

3 days ago | [YT] | 4

HyzMarie

open.spotify.com/track/1U8LggGbnhfX6Hvh6fKAjD?si=p…

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 3

HyzMarie

open.spotify.com/track/2dNoGmW1ibs7tBF0zlz6ZC?si=2…

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 2

HyzMarie

Where have I been? EMOTIONS AHEAD



So... I haven't posted anything here in three weeks. I haven't drawn anything in over a month. There's a reason for that, and it's a doozy.



Around mid-late November, I started getting hit with art block. I assumed at the time that it was because of my finals. I had a final project that required a lot of drawing, and drawing anything else made me feel guilty about the project, but I also didn't always feel like I wanted to work on that project. So I assumed that once my finals were over, I would have my art motivation back... well, that's where things started to go sideways VERY QUICKLY.



My final project for my class on 3d computer modeling was much harder than I anticipated. Every step of the way, I had to fight the modeling software, go back and redo things over and over to get them even remotely close to correct, and spend more time troubleshooting by searching obscure tech forums than actually making any progress.



My professor was not very responsive when I contacted him asking for an extension, and only gave me an answer AFTER I contacted the dean for help. He then gave me an extension- but no ultimate due date.



One day as I opened up my computer to work on it I found out that somehow, within the last 24 hours, my display had completely kicked the bucket. My computer was entirely unusable.



Of course, at this point, I began to panic. This computer was probably unfixable. It was the ONLY computer at the university with the specs I needed when I got it, and it had a ton of files which were of personal importance to me, not just class files. There was a 1000+ day Minecraft survival world, several WIP animations, a ton of videos I was in the process of editing, a ton of art I'd done for class and for myself, and even some DnD-related files, NONE of which were in any way replaceable if I lost them.

So, I mustered up the courage to walk over to the Help Desk and was told that there was, in fact, another computer available, and it should have the specs I needed. So, I got ahold of it, and started to transfer files. The Help Desk employees assured me that OneDrive would be capable of restoring all of my files perfectly.



IT WAS NOT CAPABLE OF THAT.



I opened the new computer to discover that most of the files I actually cared about were gone. My 1000+ day world- POOF. The videos in my editing software? What editing software? ALL of my apps? gone. My drawing files were there- but corrupted and unopenable. Same for all of my 3d models. Apparently, uncommon file types should NEVER be entrusted to cloud storage, because they end up compressed in a way that completely ruins them. :|



So... I had a new computer and had turned in my old one, only to find that none of the files I'd wanted had transferred. Simple image files, PDFs, and the like were there, but those were vastly in the minority of the files I needed.



Oh, and within 24 hours of my discovery that even files that were technically there had been corrupted, my professor let the class know that it was the last day for late submissions. I had literally nothing to turn in. I had not been warned beforehand about when this would be the case. So... I had literally nothing to show for my final and no way to get something before the final due date.



In the meantime, my health slipped FAST. The dining hall started being unreliable. Half of the stations were empty at any given time, and half of the open ones were serving practically inedible food in order to minimize waste. My allergies already limit my diet severely, so this meant that there was pretty much never a meal on campus for me.



My health slid rapidly thanks to the dining hall's failures because I could not get food reliably. I had no energy to do things like care for myself. Hygiene, nutrition, hydration, even my cat, all fell through the cracks.



My psychiatrist switched over to a new portal, and in that process, responded to me with radio silence when I asked her repeatedly about scheduling an appointment because I was running out of meds.



Still, the art block persisted. My drawing tablet had to be surrendered over the break, and while I managed to buy a new one it is much smaller and has refused to set up properly.



Meanwhile, I haven't been able to draw a thing- even on paper, thanks to art becoming a symbol of all my struggles.



Luckily, things are looking up. I got the files back. I just did a sketch tonight. even though I had to do it with a trackpad on pixilart. I have plenty of access to food thanks to my amazing mom. I still need to set up meds, but she's in my corner for that :)



I'm going to be fine. Even if I'm not quite ok yet, I have plenty of time to recover. So, don't worry about me. My health is recovering, I'm drawing again, and I'm back onto making videos!



Thanks for reading that mess, and have a lovely day/night. God bless and Merry Christmas! :3


Here's the sketch: a drawing of my OC, Nevru. I'll give you three guesses what soundtrack I was listening to when I drew it lol...

Hint:
RUTHLESSNESS IS MERCY UPON OURSELVES

3 weeks ago | [YT] | 5

HyzMarie

I am a musical enigma. Spotify thinks I’m 33.

1 month ago | [YT] | 4

HyzMarie

This legitimately made me cry. Human art deserves a place in our lives, and it always will… but this might take that spot away. I never was that depressed by the news… that is, until it became a play-by-play of companies using machines to replace real people and making countless lives worse. Dreams lost, reputations lost, jobs lost… even lives lost. When will this end?

We do not deserve this. From the people who lost their Minecraft worlds to AI code, to the artists who lost their commissions or their entire jobs, to the communities suffering as data centers drain their resources, to the people who lost their lives to ChatGPT… we matter. We matter more than these machines. We need to stand and fight… but I don’t know if we even can.

If, somehow, anyone with any power is reading this, please. Ban Generative AI. Now. Before more is taken away that can’t be given back. Adam Raine will not be the last if this continues… he will be one of many who are lost to this, but one of few we see in the public eye.

This needs to stop. Now. Please.

1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 4

HyzMarie

Happy 19th birthday to The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess! My favorite Zelda game of all time, and the release date happens to be near my own birthday, so I’m celebrating it here :)

1 month ago | [YT] | 3

HyzMarie

I’m a bedrock PC player… pls help us Mojang :,(

1 month ago | [YT] | 6

HyzMarie

Google says I’m a child. I can’t tell it otherwise without giving it a picture of something like a credit card or gov ID. It knows my birthday, but just disagrees for some reason.

I love this timeline 🫠

2 months ago | [YT] | 6

HyzMarie

I’m working on a (very elaborate) cosplay of Link from The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess for Halloween this year.

Thinking of making a video showcasing the cosplay
(I’m super proud of it!)

There are a few portions I’m thinking of.

1:
Walking through how I did it
(I don’t have footage unfortunately, but I can point out how certain processes led to certain effects and talk about sewing/knitting techniques)

2:
Explaining how the outfit would actually work for a medieval warrior
(Things like why there are so many layers, how everything would fasten IRL, and why it would work particularly well for Link’s activities and fighting style in the game even if it wouldn’t for a more traditional knight)

Thing is, I’m not sure on whether y’all would watch it for a few reasons:

1: The lack of process footage is a little concerning to me, but I don’t have a way to both hold a camera and make the cosplay without compromising both the outfit and the footage.


2: I have no idea whether anyone here wants a segment on how medieval armor worked because idk how interesting it is to most people (seeing as I, who find this fascinating, am a complete and utter weirdo)

3: I’ve never done cosplay or anything like it on this channel, and I’ve never done a live-action video either, especially not one with my actual body and face (which I would need to do as I’d be wearing the costume) and I’m aware some people prefer animation and aren’t that crazy about face reveals anyway.

If there aren’t many responses I’ll probably disregard the results and I might also just not make the video due to privacy concerns about showing my actual face. Still, I’d like to know what y’all think.

2 months ago | [YT] | 3