I need to create posts for roommates I feel too weak today from grief & sadness. I just want to lay down and look at YouTube. Babygirl close date is some time in April. I don’t know who is going to cut the grass, take out the trash. I know she is too excited about her new life to grieve like me. If I was going to a brand new house where my mother and brother and sister will be there I wouldn’t be tripping either. She’s there for me though. She always has been. I can go over and spend the weekend with her if I want since she just found out yesterday she will be alone in the house. I just wish I didn’t have to live in a house that has our memories and be here alone. I’m so very proud of her and happy for her but I’m very sad and I feel alone. 😢❤️
I don’t even want to get out of the bed today. She officially got her house. She is just working out the details of the down payment but she got it. I’m so proud of her. I keep the fan on at night she said it’s making her throat sore so she has to sleep in the other room. I think that’s a good thing if she leaves the master bedroom and sleeps in the other room. The grief has literally taken my strength, I’m so glad I have my animals to cuddle during this heartbreaking transition.
Come to the self esteem group at 10:00 am, I’m the host, it’s free. I can’t create a link so you would have to literally copy that in your bar and your address bar or go to coda.org and look at a 10 o’clock meeting and it says focus on self-esteem.
I think I’m more afraid to be alone, as opposed to feeling bad about the break up because it’s not a fulfilling relationship. I saw a woman on TikTok describe her relationship as fulfilling and I longed to experience that. I want this break up but I am so afraid of being alone. I’m so afraid of the grief. She has her mother who lives in the house with us and shows me repeatedly that she prefers her mother’s company over mine. I’m really going to hate living by myself again. But the cards said my money will be good again. She is buying a house and she said she I could come but I think it will be hell. She is OCD with cleaning and I don’t give a shit about a clean 🧽 house. I mean I do, but not like her. This relationship has been over for about 3 years. I really hate being alone; I have abandonment issues and the pain of aloneness is unbearable. She has sisters that she talks to everyday, she has her mom, and an aunt she works with and they are all close. I never really loved her because her Virgo rising made her so judgmental and critical of me. I tried & tried & tried, but I always came up short in her eyes. She loved her ex, when she still talks about her ex, her voice gets soft and tender. But her ex didn’t love her and wouldn’t have full sex with her. Then she had a nervous breakdown and her ex permanently distanced herself from her. I’m hurt, 😞 I’m a little disoriented, but even if she didn’t ask me to leave, her behavior shows it everyday. I’m no longer wanted here. Quite frankly, I don’t think I ever did it for her because she always tried to change me. I finally said “instead of trying to change me, why don’t you just go get who and what you want.” She is very generous with criticism & put downs. I feel embarrassed that I let myself get treated like that. I cried hard this weekend trying to grasp the end of this. Ironically, there is apart of me that doesn’t want this to end. Then there is a part of me that does. I think I’m more afraid of being alone than necessarily being with her. I wish I had her support. 😕 But this weekend I hired a Scorpio therapist, and I returned to Codependency Anonymous, and Love Addicts Anonymous. The therapist said it was time to love myself. But you know what? The world will turn again. I am so heartbroken 💔 but this too shall pass.
Laying next to her in absolute silence is not the kind of relationship I want to be in. I wanted her to come in the room - I don’t know why, we don’t talk anymore. I hate changing partners, she won’t leave but she makes it impossible to stay. I’m 😞 sad looking for another place while we share the same bed. I think we are both good people who has just outgrown each other. I have found a place. I just don’t know when to leave. Our lease is up January 2027 but she’s trying to buy a house now and I know I will be miserable 😭 trying to keep up with her inhuman cleaning standards. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love me anymore. She is completely unconcerned, detached, and disinterested. I think we did pretty good for 6 years. Our families became friends but she has hard feelings towards me and she’s just not interested or invested in the relationship anymore. I found a place 2 months ago. Her mother lives with us and she always has something negative to say to me and about me. I prayed for the strength to leave and I have it. She just told her sister she is trying to close by March 2026. 🏠 So I guess I should try and move March 2026.
Nicole's Tarot
Me & Mom went to church this morning. ❤️
I haven’t been to church with my mom in 6 years.
6 days ago | [YT] | 197
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Nicole's Tarot
I need to create posts for roommates I feel too weak today from grief & sadness. I just want to lay down and look at YouTube. Babygirl close date is some time in April. I don’t know who is going to cut the grass, take out the trash. I know she is too excited about her new life to grieve like me. If I was going to a brand new house where my mother and brother and sister will be there I wouldn’t be tripping either. She’s there for me though. She always has been. I can go over and spend the weekend with her if I want since she just found out yesterday she will be alone in the house. I just wish I didn’t have to live in a house that has our memories and be here alone. I’m so very proud of her and happy for her but I’m very sad and I feel alone. 😢❤️
1 week ago | [YT] | 18
View 6 replies
Nicole's Tarot
I don’t even want to get out of the bed today. She officially got her house. She is just working out the details of the down payment but she got it. I’m so proud of her. I keep the fan on at night she said it’s making her throat sore so she has to sleep in the other room. I think that’s a good thing if she leaves the master bedroom and sleeps in the other room. The grief has literally taken my strength, I’m so glad I have my animals to cuddle during this heartbreaking transition.
1 week ago | [YT] | 21
View 7 replies
Nicole's Tarot
💰 Money is responding to you
The Money Magnet Ritual Box was created for intention, focus, and abundance alignment.
Light the candle
Wear for Money & Wealth Bracelet
Anoint With Oil
Carry the wealth cards in your wallet
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1 month ago | [YT] | 16
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Nicole's Tarot
Hey Family Check out my new TShirts
sunshine-tarot-shop.fourthwall.com/
1 month ago | [YT] | 27
View 2 replies
Nicole's Tarot
Come to the self esteem group at 10:00 am, I’m the host, it’s free. I can’t create a link so you would have to literally copy that in your bar and your address bar or go to coda.org and look at a 10 o’clock meeting and it says focus on self-esteem.
1 month ago | [YT] | 7
View 1 reply
Nicole's Tarot
I think I’m more afraid to be alone, as opposed to feeling bad about the break up because it’s not a fulfilling relationship. I saw a woman on TikTok describe her relationship as fulfilling and I longed to experience that. I want this break up but I am so afraid of being alone. I’m so afraid of the grief. She has her mother who lives in the house with us and shows me repeatedly that she prefers her mother’s company over mine. I’m really going to hate living by myself again. But the cards said my money will be good again. She is buying a house and she said she I could come but I think it will be hell. She is OCD with cleaning and I don’t give a shit about a clean 🧽 house. I mean I do, but not like her. This relationship has been over for about 3 years. I really hate being alone; I have abandonment issues and the pain of aloneness is unbearable. She has sisters that she talks to everyday, she has her mom, and an aunt she works with and they are all close. I never really loved her because her Virgo rising made her so judgmental and critical of me. I tried & tried & tried, but I always came up short in her eyes. She loved her ex, when she still talks about her ex, her voice gets soft and tender. But her ex didn’t love her and wouldn’t have full sex with her. Then she had a nervous breakdown and her ex permanently distanced herself from her. I’m hurt, 😞 I’m a little disoriented, but even if she didn’t ask me to leave, her behavior shows it everyday. I’m no longer wanted here. Quite frankly, I don’t think I ever did it for her because she always tried to change me. I finally said “instead of trying to change me, why don’t you just go get who and what you want.” She is very generous with criticism & put downs. I feel embarrassed that I let myself get treated like that. I cried hard this weekend trying to grasp the end of this. Ironically, there is apart of me that doesn’t want this to end. Then there is a part of me that does. I think I’m more afraid of being alone than necessarily being with her. I wish I had her support. 😕 But this weekend I hired a Scorpio therapist, and I returned to Codependency Anonymous, and Love Addicts Anonymous. The therapist said it was time to love myself. But you know what? The world will turn again. I am so heartbroken 💔 but this too shall pass.
1 month ago (edited) | [YT] | 66
View 24 replies
Nicole's Tarot
Laying next to her in absolute silence is not the kind of relationship I want to be in. I wanted her to come in the room - I don’t know why, we don’t talk anymore. I hate changing partners, she won’t leave but she makes it impossible to stay. I’m 😞 sad looking for another place while we share the same bed. I think we are both good people who has just outgrown each other. I have found a place. I just don’t know when to leave. Our lease is up January 2027 but she’s trying to buy a house now and I know I will be miserable 😭 trying to keep up with her inhuman cleaning standards. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t love me anymore. She is completely unconcerned, detached, and disinterested. I think we did pretty good for 6 years. Our families became friends but she has hard feelings towards me and she’s just not interested or invested in the relationship anymore. I found a place 2 months ago. Her mother lives with us and she always has something negative to say to me and about me. I prayed for the strength to leave and I have it. She just told her sister she is trying to close by March 2026. 🏠 So I guess I should try and move March 2026.
1 month ago | [YT] | 85
View 19 replies
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